Laz moved beside me in the booth, wrapped an arm over my shoulders, and pulled me into his side, saying, “Shh, sweetheart. Shh. You don’t have to say anything else. You don’t have to tell me.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m so sorry, Izzy. Jesus, I’m so sorry.”
Only when Laz’s warmth began seeping into my bones did I realize I was freezing and shaking. Leaning more heavily into his solid chest, I closed my eyes and let his body heat warm me; his body heat and his presence.
After a few minutes, I quietly said, “They sacrificed my siblings one by one until I was the only one left. Th-they wanted me to watch, to make me suffer because… because they liked my screams and cries—that’s what they said. They thought I was p-pretty when I-I cried.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I watched my older siblings getting t-tortured and bled to d-death over the course of a few weeks. The Conclave came then. Of course, they were too late, of course they were. They saved me, but my entire family had been taken from me, and I was… I was nothing but a shell of the fourteen-year-old I’d once been. They were too l-late. I’d heard stories about them, but they’d been too late to save them. I nearly died, too, and… and for a long time I’d wished I had.”
“Izzy.” Laz sucked in a sharp breath.
“I know. I don’t wish that, not anymore, but I did for years.” I took a few minutes to gather myself, although I remained in Laz’s arms. “Anyway, the Conclave didn’t know what to do with me because I was orphaned, and that doesn’t happen in the magical community very often. They healed many of my injuries, some were too fierce for even magic to do anything about—they needed time to heal, and I needed food and water and…” I waved that away as unimportant. “While the adults were trying to figure out what to do with me, I ran away and stayed hidden for years. I became some kind of legend in the Conclave, apparently. The sole survivor of the Dellimo Deaths. I kept hidden away until Raph found me. I was so scared he was going to turn me in. I thought they wanted me for running, you know? I didn’t realize that I wasn’t a wanted man. I was only someone to watch out for because they wanted to help me. So yeah, um, that’s… that’s why I avoided them for a long time. I didn’t want the people that couldn’t save my family to make decisions for me. I… I didn’t trust them… I didn’t trust anyone. I went and lived among humans for years.”
“Until Raph.”
I nodded and wiped my wet cheeks. “Until Raph.” After a few seconds, I added, “He saved me. Not physically, but… he’s the one that brought me back to life. Before he walked into my life, I wasn’t doing anything more than surviving, but he came charging in, and he… he brought me back, he gave me a reason to laugh again. He… he saved me.”
Laz hugged me tightly. “I’m so glad he did, Isiah. So fucking glad.”
I closed my eyes, buried my face in the crook of his neck, and soaked up his comfort like a dying plant soaking up water.
Gods, being in his arms felt safe and sturdy and sort of amazing. I wish I could be in them more often. If he wasn’t already seeing Raph, I’d be tempted to…
No. Don’t think about it. It’ll only make you sad.
After hugging for a long time, we pulled away, and I whispered, “Laz?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we keep this between us? The only other person that knows about my past is Raph. Well, our boss knows, too, but I haven’t told Grades and Alaric yet, and—”
“I won’t say anything, Iz. I promise.” He offered a smile before pulling me into another hug. “Don’t worry, Izzy.”
Leaning into him again, I closed my eyes, breathed in his peppermint scent, and whispered, “I’m not.” How could I be worried about anything when he kept holding me like this?
Laz and I went straight to Alaric’s house after our very long lunch. I’d told him I was fine to hang out at his store with him, but Laz had insisted on coming back here and watching silly movies while we waited for everyone to get home. He’d sat on the couch with me the entire time, letting me press my shoulder to his. I’d been tempted to lay my head on his shoulder, but I wasn’t sure if that would be appropriate, so I hadn’t.
The front door opened while we were searching for another movie, and as soon as Raph came in and saw Laz, he smiled so widely I was surprised he didn’t hurt his face. He walked straight to him and pulled him off the couch and straight into his arms, pressing a kiss to Laz’s cheek. Laz chuckled and hugged Raph back, the two sharing quiet words of greeting.
My jealousy flared, hot and angry in my belly, but I couldn’t figure out if I was mad Raph was ruining my time hanging out with my new friend, or if I was mad that Raph was kissing Laz’s cheek over and over again and making the other man giggle—Laz was giggling.
I frowned at them, but managed to school my features before Raph turned to me. He walked over, leaned down, and rested his forehead to mine, breathing out, “Hi, Izzy.”
“Hey, Raph.” I couldn’t help but smile a tad. We weren’t often apart for more than a few hours here or there, so when we were, I always felt like we were being a bit dramatic when we saw each other again. But I couldn’t deny that my magic always sang in my veins the second Raph was within arms’ reach. It sang and then settled in contentment, and I knew Raph’s magic did the same.
He squeezed my neck before backing away and putting his arm over Laz’s shoulders.
Laz sent me a small smile, but it seemed uncomfortable, so I grinned at him. He visibly relaxed, the smile on his face reaching his eyes and seeming natural.
He wasn’t the issue here. He had done nothing wrong, neither had Raph. It was all me and the stupid little green monster living inside me.
I looked behind Raph with a furrowed brow. “Where’s Alaric?”
“He had me drop him off at Grady’s store.”
“Grady wouldn’t let me help.”
Raph’s lips quirked up on one side. “You’re not his soul-pledged that he’s been away from all day.”
“Oh.”
Laz’s gaze hopped back and forth between us before he asked, “Does that, um, affect you? Being away?” He bit his lip, then added, “Shit, am I not supposed to ask that?”
A small laugh bubbled out of me. “You can ask us whatever you want. We won’t be offended.”
“Others might be, though,” Raph continued. “But Iz and I don’t mind at all. We want you to ask questions like that so you’re informed and understand everything.”
I added, “Because we don’t want you to be uncomfortable, so please ask away.”
His eyes bounced around again. “It’s weird when you finish each other’s thoughts like that.”
“That would happen even if we weren’t soul-pledged simply because we spend so much time together,” I said.
“True.” Laz nodded.
I sent him a soft smile. “To answer your question, yes, it affects us. Magic is linked to your soul, and since our magic is also linked together, our souls like the closeness. They grow weary when their other half is far away.”