She came to me and ran her hands down my arms, up again, trying to soothe me, but one simple touch from Lizzie had the opposite effect on me. This time was different, even as her eyes glimmered with amusement as she laughed at me.
“This isn’t funny.”
“It’s not,” she agreed. “And it is. This is pretty much the massive roller coaster I’ve been on for weeks. Welcome to the club.”
“Oh fuck… it’s starting… what’s that called? Sympathy pains?”
“You’re fine.” She was still laughing at me, head tilted back and she was losing the green hue to her skin. “I think you’re doing great.”
Her hands rubbed my arms and all panic melted. This was normal, right? To be so damn excited? So damn scared out of your freaking brain? And holy crap. This was just the pregnancy part, the part I had very little involvement in. What was I going to be like when there was a helpless little baby in my arms? Or a sassy little toddler? A son who treated girls like dawgs? Or, hell, heaven forbid, a daughter who dated assholes… and I wouldn’t even be here for those dates to threaten to murder little punks who showed up on a motorcycle to take my little girl out.
“I am so fucked,” I moaned and dropped my forehead to Lizzie’s. “I think I need to quit. Maybe I can coach. Go back to school and become an accountant. No way in hell our daughter is getting on the back of a bike.”
“What?” Lizzie’s garbled laugh made me groan. “What are you talking about?”
“I just saw my future flash in front of my eyes and it was fucking terrifying.”
She was still laughing as her hands slid behind my back. On instinct, I did the same to her, forced her to cling to me like we were double-sided tape.
“We’ve got this,” she said, but her chest was still rumbling with laughter, breasts pressing against my chest every time she chuckled. “I swear it. You’re going to be a great dad.”
“Goddamn you,” I muttered, but I didn’t mean it, and the way she squeezed me back told me she knew exactly what that meant to me.
Fucking everything.
“Speaking of,” I whispered. “Wait until we have to call my mom and Gabby and let them know.”
She stepped back, eyes wide with terror. “They’re not pacifists like my parents.”
“Nope.” I kissed the top of her head and stepped back. “Have a good day, honey!”
“You know I’m going to spend the rest of the day freaking out about what your mom’s going to say, right?”
My mom would lose her ever-loving mind. And then scream so loud we could hear her all the way in Las Vegas, over eleven hundred miles away.
Her hand came swinging out, but I jumped, avoided her playful slap and was in the mudroom grabbing my gear as she screamed out, “I hate you!”
I opened the door to the garage, grinning like a maniac, all fears gone. For now. “Liar. You love me.”
She huffed. I’d won that round.
But I had no doubt Lizzie would get me back and it’d be equally painful.
Joey sauntered into the team’s locker room while I was tying up my goalie pants, the rest of my massive amount of gear in a pile in front of me. As the goalie, I not only had the most gear and the largest locker, I created the largest mess, so I was at the end of the row. Across from me, Joey tossed his bag into his own locker before sitting down and smirking at me.
“So I hear Lizzie is back with you.”
Back with me. I wished. I hoped so.
“We worked some things out while I stayed in Chicago, yeah. But she’s only here for a couple of weeks.”
He nodded, his black hair like all the Taylors flopping while he did it. Joey was the perfect mix of Jason and Jude. Jude’s face shape, Jason’s hair. He was faster than either of them but had the same wit. Their same loyalty. He clasped his hands together, elbows on his knees. “She tell you?” he asked, voice lowering while he glanced around the room.
No one was paying attention to us, they were all dragging their own gear on and giving each other shit.
“She told me you told her about your divorce back in December but that was it. Said the rest is your story.”
“Yeah.” He huffed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Not quite ready to talk about all that.”
“I’m not prying, Joey. And even if she had told me everything you told her, you gotta know me well enough by now to know I wouldn’t say shit, wouldn’t judge it.”
“Right. Yeah. I got that.”
“Good. Then are you going to let me get outta here and warmed up or are we going to break out into a heart-to-heart.”
He laughed, shook off whatever laying of sludge was covering him and stood. “You guys coming tonight?”
I grabbed my knee pads and started yanking them on. “She’s excited to see you again, so yeah. We’re coming.”
“I’m happy for you. You know that, right? I hope it works out this time.”
All the nerves, and all the excitement and everything I’d been facing for the last few days surfaced. I’d already screwed up a game. I couldn’t afford to screw up more because my head was messed up. I could trust Joey. Hell, I didn’t even know if Katie or Jude knew anything. My gut said no. Lizzie wouldn’t have put our friends in that position.
I abandoned my knee pad, halfway pulled up and headed over to him. Joey’s brow furrowed as I bent my head so only he could hear me. “She’s pregnant.”
His eyes widened. “No shit? Is it—”
“Mine. Yeah. Back in December. But I’m just now finding out, so yeah, she’s here. She’s talking about staying, but I know her. She could shove her head in the sand and take off and it’s fucking with me. So, go easy on her.”
His jaw jutted out like I’d pissed him off but that wasn’t my intention.
“Don’t be a dick. I’m just saying don’t give her a hard time. Don’t tell her…”
That’d I spent all of New Year’s drunk off my ass and miserable. Or that while I might have played well when she wasn’t talking to me because I used that fury to fuel my fire for the game, afterward I was a massive wreck. Not the greatest first impression I gave my new team even if Joey knew why.
“We still have stuff to work through. Us, mostly, and I just… I don’t want her feeling that guilt. Staying for that reason.”
He blew out a breath and nodded, anger softening and turned to something else. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I want you two together. You need my help. You’ve got it, you know that. I’ve known you too long.”
I clasped his shoulder and gave him a quick shake. “You Taylors are the best men I’ve ever met. Hope you know that offer goes right back to you. You ever need to talk…”
“You’re there. I know.”
But it wouldn’t be now. His gaze ping-ponged to the guys in the locker room growing rowdier as they grabbed their gear and helmets and most started to head out to the ice. Damn. I always like to be the first one out there. Have a few seconds, if not minutes, to center myself, my thoughts, and stretch.
“I mean it, J. Always.”
“Right.” His jaw hardened again, ending the conversation with a tight-lipped look and one tinged with embarrassment.