Hyde told me that he wanted Hollyn to love herself the way I did, which meant I really needed to represent that all the time, rather than picking and choosing the times when I was invested in my well-being. I needed to love myself always, not just when it was easy.
Hyde called to let me know the baby seemed to have a little cold. She didn’t feel well the rest of the weekend, and he was considering skipping his first day of work to stay home with her. He sounded like he wanted me to tell him it was okay to put his kid before his career, but I didn’t have a clue what the right choice was. He’d always been so responsible and dedicated to whatever he put his mind to, be it school, the Army, and now fatherhood. It had to be hard to balance the need to earn a living with the desire to be there if his daughter needed him. I wasn’t someone who had anyone else relying on me, and if I lost a job for whatever reason, I could usually find another one right away. I didn’t have to adult as hard as most people my age, but I could sense a shift in my typically carefree ways as I tried to be sympathetic to Hyde’s dilemma.
Fortunately, Daire’s mom was off shift that Monday. When Daire asked Shaw if she would mind coming over to keep an eye on the baby since it was Hyde’s first day, she happily agreed. And then, when Hyde’s mom heard that Shaw planned to spend the day with her granddaughter, she also made arrangements to take the day off and lend a hand. With all the experienced moms in attendance, Hyde told me he was going to give Campbell the day off. Apparently, as soon as he got the all-clear, the young man promptly disappeared.
I didn’t have much to offer other than an ear because of my lack of both baby and long-term career experience, but then I remembered how nice it was to open the door to the breakfast he sent after rushing out in the morning. And technically, I still owed him dinner.
I called my Aunt Shaw to see if she would mind letting me into Hyde’s house before he got home from his first day. She didn’t have a problem with it but told me she was going to clear it with Sayer, Hyde’s mom, first. She also mentioned the baby seemed to be on the mend and was less miserable than she’d been once she woke up from her afternoon nap. Instead of having my aunt ask for permission from Hyde’s mom, I told her I would call and get the go-ahead. I was nervous to make the call because I already knew his dad didn’t like me.
Zeb Fuller was never outright mean or rude to me when our paths crossed after Hyde left for the military, but he let my dad know on more than one occasion he blamed me for Hyde’s sudden decision to leave. He was standoffish and cold toward me. He didn’t tolerate my nonsense the way my parents’ other friends did. Since our fathers worked together often, they had a pretty open and honest relationship. I didn’t know for sure that my dad told Zeb my mom was actually the one who pressured Hyde to leave. I couldn’t see him keeping that information from a fellow father who was worried about his kid, but it didn’t change Zeb’s chilly attitude toward me. His mom was harder to read. I could never tell if she hated me or blamed me for the past. She was mostly indifferent when I was around her, but I didn’t take it personally. Her entire personality was a bit austere and haughty. I actually found her more intimidating than Hyde’s bearded giant of a dad. She was just so different from my own mom, who wore her every thought and emotion on her sleeve.
It took me a while to work up the courage to make the call, and I was surprised that my hands were shaking by the time it connected. It was one more subtle indication that whatever I was getting into with Hyde was bound to be more serious than just friends with benefits.
Sayer’s voice was crisp when she answered the phone. She always kind of sounded like she was in a courtroom. I knew she was different, softer, and more approachable around friends and family, but there was just something about her that made me want to sit up straighter, think before I spoke, and generally behave better than I usually did.
“Uh… Hello, Mrs. Fuller. This is Remy Archer. I know you’re over at Hyde’s with my aunt watching the baby for him while he’s at work today, but I was wondering if you thought it would be okay if I came by and made dinner for him before he got home.” The words rushed out in one breath, and I ended up lightheaded when I was done speaking.
The other end of the call was quiet for a disturbingly long time. I anxiously bit down on my lower lip, unsure what my next move should be if it turned out both Hyde’s parents hated me. It was hard to argue that I was a good choice for him or for Hollyn, considering the past and all our combined history. But every part of me felt ready to defend Hyde’s choice to spend his time with me if need be. I wanted to prove to everyone he made the right choice this time around and show how much we’d both changed and matured. It was important that we weren’t the only ones who realized we were no longer two broken kids barely holding it together. Our struggles made us stronger, which was why I was willing to fight for myself if Hyde’s family decided to shut the door in my face.
“I just have one question before I agree to that, Remy.” Hyde’s mom sounded so serious it made me even more nervous.
I gulped. It wasn’t like she was a normal person asking a normal question. The woman was an excellent attorney and used to pulling out truths people wanted to keep hidden.
“Do you think Hyde wants you here?”
It was such a loaded question.
Did he want me here, as in Denver?
As in his life?
Here, around his daughter? Around his family?
Did he actually want to come home and find me in his house, or was I being selfish and making a difficult situation even harder for him?
Sayer didn’t say any of those things, but I heard her ask them just the same.
Regardless, my answer was very firm. “He definitely wants me there.”
Hyde was the one who came to me, not the other way around. He was the one who kept my number. He was the one who called when his defenses were down. He was the one who finally realized I was strong enough for him to lean on, which made me understand the same thing.
I was strong.
There might be cracks in my foundation, but the structure had never collapsed. It came close. But I was still standing.
Sayer made a soft humming sound, and I couldn’t tell if it was the approval of my answer or something else. She was so damn hard to read, not unlike the boy she raised as her own.
“Okay. If you’re sure he wants you here, come over and cook dinner. I was going to leave something in the fridge for him anyway. You might want to swing by the store first. Hyde’s fridge is pretty barren. I honestly don’t know what he’s been eating lately.”
She told me she would see me later and hung up the call. We only talked for a few short minutes, but I felt like some sort of truce had been spoken. It wasn’t exactly overwhelming approval, but if asked, I would say Hyde’s mom was rooting for us. I just hoped that translated to her trying to convince her husband I wasn’t going to ruin his son once again.
I finished what I was working on for the day—a revamp of a website for a band Bowe put me in touch with—and headed to the store before going over to Hyde’s new house. The weather was starting to cool down now that we were heading into the heart of fall, the trees were starting to change colors, and snow could happen randomly at any minute. I needed to start wearing clothes that covered more when I went outside, which was probably my least favorite thing about the changing seasons. I wasn’t really a bundled-up kind of girl, but I hated being cold, so I acquiesced to the temperature.