“I thought you weren’t leaving for Europe until tomorrow?” I repeat as he hands me my hot dog.
Phoenix takes a massive bite…dodging the question for a second time.
I’m about to chew him out for not answering, but then I realize there might be a reason for it.
Like some beautiful European model.
Nonetheless, his whereabouts are no longer my responsibility.
It’s time to sever the ties.
Bringing the hot dog to my lips, I take a bite.
Phoenix stills, watching me. His eyes are obstructed by his shades, but I’d be willing to bet all the money I’m going to make from this tour that they’re clouded with lust because he’s picturing me blowing him.
“You’re such a perv.”
He gives me a knowing grin. “Not my fault you give great head.”
I nudge him in the ribs because the security guards are standing less than five feet away and they most definitely heard him. I know this because the third guy’s ears are turning pink.
Phoenix starts to respond, but a black SUV pulls up.
It suddenly occurs to me that even though I’m saying goodbye to him, I never got a chance to say my farewells to everyone else.
“Can I go with you to the airport?” Realizing how clingy that sounds, I add, “I want to say bye to Skylar, Quinn, and Storm.”
I don’t know what to make of the expression on his face as he polishes off the rest of his hot dog. “Let’s go.”
I’m silent during the whole ride there, which is weird because I’m usually chastising him for being the quiet one.
I’m just afraid if I start talking I might spill things I’m better off keeping to myself.
Like how I hate that we didn’t have sex last night…because it means our last time was yesterday morning, while Quinn was relentlessly pounding on the connecting door because she was hungry.
While it was good—because it always is—it was quick and disruptive.
And I didn’t know it would be the final time.
Bile hits the back of my throat.
Kind of like how I didn’t know when I walked into Voodoo that night my heart would be obliterated.
Closing my eyes, I focus on the music coming through the speakers.
It’s upbeat, cheery pop. The fact Phoenix hasn’t requested for it to be changed tells me he’s just as lost in his thoughts as I am.
Memories break through the surface…both good and bad.
Now that it’s over, all the abhorrence I’ve harbored for him should be back with a vengeance.
But the moment we pull into the airport, all I can think is that even though I hate what he did…
I can’t bring myself to hate him.
“Phoenix?”
He peels his focus from the window. “Yeah?”
Since these are going to be my very last words to him, I want to make them count.
Even though they might not make any sense to him.
“You do have a gift,” I whisper. “You’re the sun.” My throat goes tight and a range of emotions swell within me. “So, you never needed anyone else in order to shine.”
Those blue depths hold my gaze.
He doesn’t utter a single word and neither do I…but we don’t have to.
Because no one knows the other better than we do.
And right now, we’re both hurting because neither of us will get what we want.
He wants forgiveness.
But there’s no way I can give him that because what he did destroyed parts of me I can’t get back.
I want to forget him.
But there’s no way I can because he’s still in my veins…all the ones leading to the organ in my chest.
The war is finally over, but there’s no winner.
We’ll both suffer until we eventually move on with other people…because it’s the only option we have.
The SUV cruises down the runway until it comes to a stop in front of a private jet…and the group I’ve spent the last eight weeks of my life with.
A bittersweet feeling erupts inside me as I get out of the car.
I came here for money and to make their lead singer pay, but I’m leaving with a block of sadness inside my chest because I’m truly going to miss every single one of them.
Memphis is the first to hug me. “Sorry about last night.”
I don’t like that he hurled insults at my friend, but I know underneath those cruel words was a lot of pain.
“Take care of yourself, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” he drawls with a smile.
Storm is the next to hug me…which is shocking because Storm doesn’t hug. “Don’t be a stranger.”
Sadly, I’ll have to be.
“I mean it,” he tells me as we break apart. “If you need anything, give me a call.”
My vision becomes glassy, so I deflect with humor. “Look at you being Mr. Softy.”
He snorts.
“Yeah, but once you point it out, he turns into an asshole again,” Quinn says behind me.
The second I spin around, she ambushes me with a hug so tight it knocks the wind out of me. “Don’t leave.”
Jesus. This kid is going to kill me.
I wipe the tears from her eyes. “You’re one of a kind, Quinn. Don’t ever change.” Leaning down, I whisper the same words Storm just told me. “If you ever need anything, please reach out to me.”
She’s the one person I’ll break my no-contact-with-Phoenix rule for if necessary.
She sniffles. “Okay.”
The moment Skylar and I hug is when the tears break free…for both of us.
“Tell me we’ll still be friends,” she chokes out.
I hug her tighter. “Always.”
I can’t imagine not having her in my life.
As long as she doesn’t bring certain parts of hers into mine whenever we catch up.
But I know she won’t, because she understands.
I press my forehead to hers. “You’ll get through this.”
It’s going to hurt like hell, but she’s far tougher than she realizes. And a man who no longer wants her isn’t one who deserves her.
“Not this Ya-Ya Sisterhood shit again,” Chandler mutters beside us.
Ugh. Might as well get this over with.
“It’s been real, Chandler.”
Real fucking exasperating.
“It certainly has.” He pulls an envelope out of his jacket pocket. “This is a check for my half. Vic will be sending his to you sometime this week…since I gave him a good report and all.” His eyes narrow. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
I pluck the envelope out of his hand. “It’s not going to bounce, is it?”
“You’ll find out soon enough, won’t you?”
Swear to God if it does, I will fly my ass to Europe and rip out his spinal cord with my teeth.
I hold out my hand. “Bye, Dicky.”
He shakes it. “Bye, Yoko.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to point out that Yoko never left John.
Because even though their love story ended up a tragedy…John never would have betrayed her like Phoenix betrayed me.
He chose her over everything.
I try to ignore the agony cramming my chest as I face him.
He’ll always be my hardest goodbye.