I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. “And for your information, I don’t pity you, because horrible father aside, you have everything I want.”
Pure envy burns through my veins as I unleash every bit of pain I keep inside onto him. “You don’t have to fear entering a room or meeting someone new because people don’t make fun of you. They fucking worship the ground you walk on.”
Losing what’s left of my composure, I punch my chest. “You’d die for the things I have? Well, I’d kill to know what it’s like to be you. To be so fucking talented and mesmerizing people can’t take their eyes off you. I’d kill to experience even just a tiny fraction of that magic you talked about in your essay.” A lump rises in my throat and my voice cracks. “But I never will.”
Because I’m not special.
I go to shove him away so I can leave, but he catches my wrist.
“What are you doing?” I seethe as he drags me over to the keyboard.
“You want to know what it’s like, don’t you?” He lowers the mic stand. “Fucking sing.”
If I thought he was unhinged before, it pales in comparison to right now. “Are you crazy? No—”
He grips my face. “Stop being a fucking coward and sing.”
I should run right out that door…but I can’t.
The allure of the sun is too strong. Like a tsunami pulling me under.
I stare down at the keyboard. “I don’t know what to sing.”
He stands behind me. “Anything.”
I go with the one I sang for him last time.
The lights flicker and the power goes in and out as I press down on the ivory keys, causing me to mess up the first few notes.
Phoenix’s lips brush the shell of my ear. “Close your eyes. And no matter what happens, don’t you fucking stop. Got it?”
Nodding, I squeeze my eyes shut and begin. My pulse drums in my ears so hard it nearly overpowers my voice.
Gentle fingertips run down my arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake.
I stumble over the lyrics when his lips graze my neck and I feel his cock harden. “Don’t stop.”
My head feels hot and heavy as his warm breath gusts over my skin and he runs his hands down the sides of my waist.
The realization that he’s touching my body and what he’s feeling makes me tense up. “Pho—”
A sharp bite has me gasping. “You’re not the one in control.” His tongue darts out, soothing the sting. “Keep singing.”
God help me because I do.
I sing my heart out as I transform into someone else. Someone who’s confident and skilled.
Special.
With a low grunt, Phoenix grinds his massive erection into my ass, like he can’t help himself.
Another rush of adrenaline spirals through me, but it’s quickly followed by a trail of nerves when he palms my breast.
Sadly, I didn’t get the consolation prize that tends to come with being a big girl. While I have slightly more than a handful, they’re not huge. I’m afraid Phoenix will be disappointed.
His voice is a rough scrape against my shoulder blade as he pinches my nipple through my bra. “Get out of your head.”
It’s a struggle to swallow past the panic, but I know if I don’t, it will ruin this moment and I won’t get another one.
Stuffing down my anxiety, I force myself to go to that place again. The place where I no longer have control of my mind or body, because I’m a vessel for something far more powerful.
Heat blooms over my chest and face when his hand disappears under my T-shirt. When he reaches my bra, he tugs it down and plumps my bare breast in his big hand.
The note I was singing comes out breathless, but I keep going.
So does Phoenix.
A shiver courses through me when his free hand finds the waistband of my jeans. I start to protest as he flicks open the button, because there’s no way he can touch me there without feeling my lower stomach.
“Phoenix—”
A startled, strangled sound leaves me when he shoves his hand inside my underwear and cups me.
It happened so fast I barely had time to think about it, let alone put up much of a fight.
Since he’s not running away screaming, I continue singing.
His finger slides over my slick flesh, teasing me.
My vibrato turns into a moan when the pad of his finger finds my clit and he makes a wet little circle around it. Taunting.
I’ve played with myself lots of times, but nothing compares to this. It’s like he’s making my body his instrument, producing whatever sensations and sounds he wants from me.
In the span of minutes, I’ve gone from sheer panic to wanting to beg him to take me right here, right now.
A whimper fills the room when his long finger plunges inside me.
I become so dizzy my fingers fumble over the keys like intoxicated frat boys.
His dark voice is an electrifying live wire. “Don’t stop.”
I want to tell him that when he drags his finger out and pushes it back in, causing a bolt of pleasure to shoot between my legs.
He adds another finger, stretching me so much it aches.
Then he starts pumping them.
My breath comes out in choppy, desperate pants when his thumb rubs my clit in a measured rhythm while he drives his fingers inside me frantically.
The contrast is too much for me to take. I grip the edges of the keyboard, unable to keep playing.
I moan into the mic, the lyrics I was supposed to be singing trapped in my throat because all I can focus on is this euphoric feeling taking over.
I feel like a spell has been cast, and I’m desperate for it to reach the peak and never end at the same time.
The lights flicker and my moans fade in and out of the mic with the sporadic power.
“Phoenix.”
I arch against him. All my senses are lost and quickly being replaced by the potent ones he’s giving me.
He speeds up his movements and I squeeze my eyes shut as pleasure overcomes me.
“Oh god.”
I’m no longer matter taking up space. I am energy.
I am his.
A loud boom of thunder vibrates the house before the electricity shuts off completely.
I sag forward, but Phoenix grips my waist with his free hand, tugging me back against him.
His voice is jagged gravel abrading my insides. “That’s what it feels like.”
Those long fingers seesaw inside me one last time, gathering the remnants of my orgasm before his hand slips out of my pants.
My blood quickens when he paints my lips with my wetness. “Open.”
When I do, he shoves his fingers inside, making me taste myself.
I can’t see him because my eyes haven’t adjusted to the darkness surrounding us yet, but I feel him because he spins me around.
“Give me some of that.”
Grabbing my jaw, he kisses me, thrusting his tongue in and out of my mouth with greedy, fervid strokes.
My head spins as he takes hold of my hips and leads me across the room.
We end up near the futon, but when I go to sit, he halts me. “Wait.”
In the shadows, I see him bend over and hear a faint click.
His lips capture mine and my pulse skyrockets as we tumble onto the futon turned bed.
Our choppy breathing, along with the soft bite he gives my neck, makes the already muggy summer air even hotter.