* * *
Lyssa took a chocolate chip cookie from the plate that Cal had put out for them and shoved it into her mouth. She was suddenly ravenously hungry. Because she was pregnant, of course. But also, without being able to sate her hunger for Cal, she needed to sate her hunger for food instead.
He’d been great about everything so far, especially giving her time to process before they made any big decisions about how to move forward.
Lord knew she needed that time. She was still upside down and inside out. Nothing this major had ever happened to her, and she desperately wanted to get it right. The child she was growing deserved that, but so did she. And even though she’d never again make the mistake of trusting Cal with her heart, she still believed he deserved all good things too.
She knew one thing for sure. Cal was this child’s father, and she wanted him to be involved in every step of her pregnancy and childbirth, for the baby’s sake. “I made an appointment with an obstetrician, if you’d like to go with me.”
His whole face brightened. “Of course I do. When’s the appointment? I’ll put it on my calendar.”
“In a couple of weeks.”
“Two weeks?” He stared at her, aghast. “Shouldn’t you go right away to make sure everything’s okay?”
“I did five tests already at home to confirm that I’m pregnant, and given my age, being pregnant is in no way a medical emergency. Two weeks was the earliest opening they had. They said that timing would be perfect, in fact.”
“Okay, if you say so. It’s just that two weeks seems like a long time to wait to have the doctor confirm that everything is going well and is on track.”
“Believe me, I want to confirm that too,” she told him.
When she met his eyes, their connection was off the charts. Surpassing even the two times they’d come together.
But though the force of her feelings threatened to overwhelm her—especially with the new hormones racing through her veins—she’d never forget the devastation to her heart when he’d flown away from Catalina Island mere minutes after that beautiful, momentous interlude in the glade. Mere minutes after she’d been so certain they could overcome any hurdle preventing their relationship. She’d even winked at him.
It made her cringe, remembering that. Which was why, instead of allowing herself to foolishly get caught up in emotion and attraction, she slapped another layer on the wall she’d erected around her heart. Clearing her throat, she pivoted to something far easier and more clear-cut. Work.
“Gideon sent that proposal for the foster care house while we were in the Caribbean. He’s waiting for our feedback.” It would be the foundation’s first project. Gideon had seen a house in San Jose he wanted the foundation to purchase and renovate.
Though Cal looked disappointed by the change of subject, obviously wanting to steer them back to the baby, he reached into his bag for his computer.
Despite pushing them into work mode, Lyssa had trouble concentrating. Whenever she glanced at his long fingers and strong hands as he turned a page, pointing out an issue, reading a phrase aloud, it was impossible to keep her thoughts straight. Not when she couldn’t stop thinking how good his hands had felt on her, how amazing their hot quickie had been on Catalina. How sweet and luxurious the hours they’d spent in that bed back there had been. How much she’d wanted him last night at the Westerbourne estate, only a wall away, so close she could have tiptoed into his bedroom without making a sound to climb naked into his bed.
She wanted him again, right now, wanted to shove their computers aside, crawl into his lap, and beg him to put his hands and his mouth on her.
But everything was different now. All those weeks ago, when she’d naively jumped into his arms on this plane, she’d told herself it was simply about feeling good and having fun in bed.
Yet all along, the truth was that she’d secretly been hoping for the fairy tale.
With Cal playing the part of her prince.
It wasn’t his fault he’d broken her heart and crushed her silly, secret dreams.
But she wouldn’t dare risk it again.
Chapter Sixteen
The two weeks before Lyssa’s doctor’s appointment were interminable. Cal couldn’t stop thinking about the baby and his desperate need to confirm that everything was all right with its growth. And Lyssa seemed determined to keep him at arm’s length.
In a complete reversal from his always-on-the-road behavior of the previous weeks, he hadn’t left San Francisco once, instead conducting his business by phone, text, email, and video calls. When his associates insisted on face-to-face meetings, he said no.
Lyssa and the baby were far more important than any business deal.
Lyssa, on the other hand, was out of the office more than she was in it. It was true that she had plenty of meetings about the upcoming gala, but she hadn’t so much as let Cal take her to lunch or dinner since they’d been back. She always claimed she’d just eaten, or that all she wanted to do was sleep.
Cal spent his spare time reading every book, article, or blog he could find on pregnancy and childbirth. It was, he quickly realized, a bad idea. Between the pregnancy books and the firsthand accounts he found on the Internet, there were not only too many opinions, there were also way too many horror stories that gave him the cold sweats.
What’s more, every time he tried to get Lyssa to talk about any of the elephants in the room—their relationship, telling her family, even baby names—she wriggled her way out of it with another gala setup, phone call, or meeting, or by claiming there was no need to rush. Of course they’d tell her family before she started showing, she insisted, and until then, they needed to give themselves time to figure things out.
He knew she was still processing the major changes in her life and future. He had to be patient and give her time. After all, it was her body, her parents, her brothers. Her stakes were so much higher than his.
But God, he wanted a stake in her and her baby’s life. A big, real, solid stake. One that came with a ring and the word forever and Lyssa in his bed every night and in the sunshine drinking coffee with him every morning.
The day before the doctor’s appointment, they had a meeting with Gideon and Dane in the conference room. They’d been keeping Gideon informed about the foundation’s progress in bits and pieces, but it was time to review the big picture with him.
“I swear, Lyssa, you’re glowing,” Gideon noted after he said hello and hugged her. “The news must be great, huh?”
Lyssa’s eyes shot to Cal’s, before just as quickly moving away. Right now, the two of them were the only ones who knew why she was glowing. Yes, the foundation was doing very well. But pregnancy suited her even better.
Once Gideon knew about the baby—and that Cal was the father—he wouldn’t be grinning like that at Cal anymore.
Lyssa went through the numbers—the massive total of donations they’d already received, along with the various organizations they’d already begun to fund, the San Jose property they’d put an offer on for the halfway house. The more she tallied, the bigger Gideon’s eyes grew.
“I had no idea we’d come this far. I know you’ve been working hard, but this blows my mind.” He looked stunned. “I don’t know how you guys have done so much, so quickly.”