"Future journalists or just one?" Jackson asked.
His question was like the shadow of a shark in the waters of our conversation. I froze and willed my heart rate to slow back down. "What do you mean?" I asked.
Jackson laughed and gathered up his papers. "Nothing, I don't mean anything. I mean, what could I, one of your best and only friends, know about your behavior?" Jackson stood up and swung his leather messenger bag onto his shoulder. "What could I, as a newly married and madly in love man, possible know about the way you are acting?"
I stood up and shoved my chair back into place. "I'm just trying to help," I snapped.
"Couldn't you just be a confidential source? Isn't it enough that you're helping Clarity connect the dots? Let her get all the glory and keep your job. I'd call that a win-win," Jackson said.
I followed him to the door and slapped the lights off. "That doesn't feel good enough. I want to do more; I feel like I should."
Jackson paused in the hallway, trapping me in the classroom door. "The dean's a nice man and he cooks a tasty turkey. I guess those count as good reasons."
I rubbed the back of my neck and groaned. "Fine. I feel like I'm already involved and I want to help because of that. And I'm not doing it for the dean. His turkey wasn't that good."
Jackson grinned. "Alice is going to be so happy. All she could talk about on the way home from Thanksgiving was how happy you looked in love."
"Whoa, slow down; who said anything about love?" I asked.
"Alice. She said that you and Clarity make a great couple." Jackson strode down the hallway with a jaunty smile.
"Shhh, what are you nuts? You can't say things like that."
"Oh, come on, Ford. We both know we're not talking about some tawdry fantasy or some cheap affair. As consenting adults, you two are a great match," Jackson said. "Are you coming?"
I was rooted to the hallway floor far behind him. My heart beat slowly under an onslaught of feelings. The way Jackson dismissed our student-professor problem gave me wild surges of hope. He also approved and I suddenly realized that meant a lot to me.
When I caught up with Jackson, I tried to tell him thank you. He watched me unable to form words, then he slapped me on the shoulder. "So you're going full bore on the corruption story. I like it, you're a knight tilting at windmills."
I rolled my eyes. "I thought it didn't end so well for the knight in your stories."
Jackson sighed. "Yeah, well, this just seems like something you have to do." We walked out onto Landsman campus and braced ourselves against the chill. Jackson wrapped a scarf around his neck.
I popped my collar up and pulled it tighter around me. "I've felt sick for years about not standing up to Barton."
"Yeah, I know. I seem to recall stopping you from lunging at the man more than once," Jackson said into his scarf. "You gotta stop beating yourself up for that. You didn't pursue the story then because you didn't want it to affect Liz. You backed down for your sister's sake."
I ground my teeth. "That's just an excuse. I could have pushed hard enough that he couldn't touch Liz without the whole world knowing, but I backed down. I let him take away my career without a fight."
"So maybe this little detour to Landsman College has turned out to be the right route to getting your career back," Jackson said. He dug out his keys and unlocked his car. "You want a lift?"
"Detour?" The conversation with Clarity came back to me. The thought of driving with her off into the sunset made everything worth it. "Nah, I gotta call Liz and tell her what I'm about to do."
"Good. You know, she's tougher and smarter than you. I bet she'll be glad to get off your dime and prove what she can do," Jackson said. He ducked into his car, then called out the window. "I don't mind waiting to give you a lift. Tell her I say 'hi.'"
"Ford! I'm so glad you called," Liz answered her phone on the second ring.
I could hear laughter and clinking glasses in the background. "Are you at a party? Is this a bad time? No, scratch that, if you're at a party, get outside, we need to talk."
"Whoa, big brother, slow down." Liz laughed. "I'm a bar but it's a study group." She creaked open a door and the bar sounds faded. "Alright, I'm outside. Are you alright? What do we need to talk about?"
I took a deep breath. "I'm going after a big story and it's not going to be pretty. Most likely I'll be jobless by Christmas," I said.
"A big story? This sounds just like what happened at Wire Communications. I swear to god, you were better off in the Army," Liz talked fast when she was excited. "I'm glad you're going for it, though. Enough playing it safe for my sake."
The bubble of anxiety burst out in a chuckle. "So, you're fine with me tanking my respectable career for a story? I won't be able to cover your rent anymore."
"For god's sake, Ford, you do know how old I am, right?" Liz snapped. "I've been working two jobs anyway and I've probably saved as much as your yearly salary. You did it, big brother, you got me on my way. Now let me take care of the rest."
"But I don't want you to work two jobs—"
"Everyone is. It's what the really motivated doctors all did. I'd feel like a cheat if I didn't put in my time too," Liz said.
I grabbed the phone closer. "But, what if this reflects badly on you, Lizzy? I don't want to smudge your record or reputation."
"Please," Liz groaned. "You don't think my skills speak for me? I haven't just been sitting around over here."
"I'm still going to send you money," I snapped. "I still need to know that you have everything you need. Sorry, but it's still just you and me, so that's still the deal."
"You need to find someone, Ford," Liz chided. "But first, spend some of your money on a better sofa. There's no way you're going to romance anyone on that thing."
"I am not taking romantic advice from my younger sister. Though, now that you're all ready to take care of yourself, I might go buy myself a car," I said.
Liz's voice was tinged with curiosity. "A car? You got somewhere you want to be? Or someone you want to take for a ride?"
I groaned. "I'm hanging up now, Liz. Be safe. I love you."
"Love you too, big bro."
I hung up my phone and climbed into Jackson's car. I couldn't sit still and the cold vinyl seat cover creaked and I shifted. Liz had happily released me and now I was free to do what I wanted. My first thought was Clarity. I wanted to show Clarity that I could be what she believed in.
"Liz told you to go for it, didn't she?" Jackson asked.
I chuckled. "In no uncertain terms."
"So, where to?" Jackson asked.
"The nearest windmill," I joked.
Jackson grinned and turned his car towards the city. "I know you think I'm just going to drop you off at your apartment, but you're wrong. If you're going to see Barton now, then I'm coming with you."
"What?" I yelped. "Why would I be going to see Barton right now? And, why would I need you to chaperone?"