As she finished her thought, I pulled my knees in towards my chest, hugging them close while leaning back in the recliner. If I believed Gabe was interested in me, she would have a point. But, I had no idea if he was or not, and at this point, my life in the lab would be far easier if he wasn’t. As I ruminated, my grandmother repositioned herself in the bed, assuming an upright, focused posture.
“Fiona, the truth is someday soon… I won’t be here any longer.”
No sooner had she uttered the words than the emotions of the day I buried came roaring back. Almost on cue, my eyes filled with liquid and before I realized it rivulets of wet heat ran down my cheeks.
“Please d-don’t s-say that…” I muttered.
“Well, it’s true dear.”
My upper body convulsed as the notion of her being gone from my life overwhelmed me.
“Fiona, come here. Come give me a hug.”
The springs in the old recliner twanged as I stood. Walking over towards her, I wiped at the fresh discharge of tears, drying my face as best I could. I reached over and hugged her frail body as my grandmother extended her arms around me. She patted me on the back, soothing me with ‘there there's’ and ‘it’s okay’s’. We embraced for a few more moments until at last she spoke once more.
“Sit down, Fiona. Tell me what’s happened.”
I told her everything. I left nothing out. Though I’d been keeping it all a secret for a while now, I didn’t see the point any longer. The situation was getting to be more than I could handle. I needed help.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked her as I finished. “I don’t understand why they are being so mean. I haven’t done anything to them.”
“Well, for starters,” she sniffed, as she straightened her posture in the bed again. “Never let them push you around, if that's what is really going on. Furthermore, the answer to their behavior is obvious, Fiona.”
“It is? What do you mean?”
“Don’t you see? They’re jealous of you. The only question is, what are you going to do about it?”
I shrugged. Reaching down, I touched my bracelet for a moment. As I did, I felt my grandmother’s thin fingers wrap around my shoulder.
“You can’t let them win. You realize that don’t you?”
“Yes,” I said, as I let out a deep exhale. “I know.”
“Okay then. I’ll ask you once more. What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know for sure. For now, I’m catching up as fast as I can. I’m doing everything in my power to avoid a huge fight with them, as it will only make things much worse. It’s getting more difficult by the day though.”
My grandmother reached towards my hand, wrapping hers over it until they both covered my charm bracelet. I glanced up at her, and a reassuring smile came to her face.
“Fight. Never back down.”
I smiled back at her. “Now you sound like Gabe.”
14
Decisions, Decisions (Gabe)
After the minor flare-up in the lab with Fiona’s experiment, things had more or less returned to normal. Over the past several days, I’d received word from Andrew that the apparent friction between Fiona, Amanda and Melissa cooled. As I mentioned, in any other circumstance, I would have put a stop to the catty bullshit myself, but Fiona needed to rise to the challenge.
Apparently, she had.
Even better, Colin informed me at the close of business yesterday that in spite of her setback she’d logged enough hours playing catch up. With only a couple more days left to go in the competition, it looked as if everyone was doing well, including Fiona. And so it was first thing Friday morning I'd invited Colin to my office to discuss the status of things over breakfast and get his input on the eventual winner.
We spent the better part of two hours covering not only the hands-on lab results but also the intangible qualities needed in a position of leadership. Going on his fifth year at a senior level, Colin’s opinion mattered to me. I had no question I could count on him to be objective and unbiased when it came to issues like this. We were wrapping up breakfast when we got down to business end of things.
“Okay,” he began, as he laid three pieces of paper out in front of us. “We’re down to the last three now. Amanda, Melissa and Fiona.”
“Our three musketeers.”
Colin chuckled. “Hardly.”
Amanda and Melissa had seniority, not to mention nearly three decades of lab experience between them. Of course, Colin and I were both aware of their behavioral issues. Either way, picking between the two of them could just as easily be done with the flip of a coin. Tabling the discussion of them for the moment, we moved on to Fiona, with Colin offering up his perspective first.
“Well, as much as I would like to pick her,” he began, as he slumped back into his chair with an exhale. “I think Fiona is perhaps a bit too young, not to mention inexperienced, for this position.”
I nodded. “She’s resilient as hell though, Colin.”
He nodded. “That she is. But setbacks and stressors are one thing when it’s your own work. When you’re responsible for the work of a team, the errors in judgment tend to get magnified, as does the stress.”
“Mmm, hmm,” I said as he finished his thought. “And you don’t think she’s capable of making the transition yet?”
“No, she may well be. That’s not my point.”
“What is your point then, Colin?”
“Only that given some of the time constraints we’re under with the Link Protocol, why take the risk? She could always be groomed for a management position down the line. You know, once this effort is behind us.”
Colin was being pragmatic, of course. And, he had good reason to be. If I was in his situation, I would likely come to a similar conclusion. Of course, the inside information I had about Fiona put Colin at a disadvantage. Based purely on technical merits, all three women were all fairly equal. Leaving aside the childish antics of Amanda and Melissa for a moment, they did solid lab work. But… with the pressure of her grandmother’s illness, not to mention the mountain of debt associated with it, no one would be more motivated to succeed than Fiona.
Just as I was about to offer a counter to his statement, Colin’s cell phone started to ring. He picked it up from the table and flipped it over.
“It’s our supplier in Hong Kong, Gabe. I’ve been waiting for this call. Do you mind if I take it?”
I shook my head and gestured for him to continue. “No, go ahead.”
“Five minutes,” Colin said, nodding his head. He stood from his chair and made his way out of my office.
While he chatted, I munched a bit. I alternated between crunchy strips of salted bacon and gulps of bittersweet grapefruit juice as I waited for him to return. Leafing through the results, it became clear to me I’d have to trust my instincts. As an entrepreneur, it’s hard to explain hunches to non-risk takers like Colin. He evaluated things based on facts, black and white. And after all, that was his job, so it’s understandable.
Yet, I had the opportunity to mold Fiona, shape her and make her believe in her potential. Even so, I wasn’t a fool. Giving the newest, and youngest, team member that much responsibility would be anything but a hands-off option for me. Her authority would be challenged, there was no question in my mind about it. However, that wasn't an altogether terrible thing.