“I’m sure everything is going to be fine, and I’m totally overreacting…”
Standing upright, I tugged a strand of hair behind my ear. “Even so, there’s something I have to tell you.”
I paused, swallowing hard. It seemed impossible to believe I’d reached this point, feeling the way I did about him in such a short span of time. Still, I couldn’t deny it anymore. I didn’t want to resist it any longer.
“Dorian,” I began, lowering my face to his once more. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I hope you can hear me, but even if you can’t, I don’t care. I want you to know. You have to know.”
Once I finished my confession, I pressed my lips against his forehead, savoring the feel of his skin against my mouth before pulling away.
I smiled at him, wishing he could hear me. Who knew? You always heard those stories about people who are unconscious or in comas or whatever being able to remember things that were said to them. I could only hope he did and, more importantly, felt the same way I did.
With that, I turned and started to walk towards the couch, tiptoeing through a maze of wires on the floor. I’d only taken one step beyond them when I heard a strange noise – like an alarm or a warning coming from the back on the equipment.
Spinning in place, I looked towards Dorian. Behind him, one of the displays filled with reds, yellows, and oranges. The sound of the machine grew louder, the warning sounds coming fast and furious.
Oh my God! What is happening?
In a semi-panic, I took off, running around the side of Dorian’s bed and grabbing the call button. I pressed it. I had no idea how many times, all the while yelling while I did.
“Nurse Jasper! Nurse Jasper!” I screamed, hoping that the combination of the call button and my cries would get her there sooner.
It wasn’t long after, the door flew open, and she rushed inside. I barely managed to get out of her way, narrowly avoiding a collision between us. She didn’t say anything to me, instead, rushed straight to Dorian. In all the chaos I hadn’t noticed his body started to shake and tremor.
Oh no! Oh no! No!
“What’s happening?” I gasped. “What’s going on?”
She never looked up, never taking her eyes off what she was doing, but she did respond.
“He’s having a seizure.”
The way she said it, it was almost like she was ordering a bowl of soup in a restaurant. I couldn’t believe how calm she was.
“Oh my God!” I yelped, covering my mouth with my hands. “Is he going to be okay? Please tell me he’s going to be okay!”
Nurse Jasper stopped, freezing her position and snapping her head in my direction. “You have to let me work. Please, his life depends on it.”
His life depends on it! What!
I didn’t say anything. Frozen with fear, I didn’t know what to do.
The entire time Dorian’s seizures grew more violent, more frequent, more terrifying. I watched in agony, my eyes darting back and forth between the nurse and the incessant beeping of the monitoring equipment. To my horror, the beeps began to slow, the time between each one growing longer.
“Stay with us, Mr. Scott.” Nurse Jasper said.
Stay with us?!
I felt like I was going to pass out. Was he really dying right in front of my eyes?
Nurse Jasper looked to be doing all she could. I decided I had to try and open my mouth to ask what I could do. When I did, Dorian’s body twitched less and less, until all movement stopped.
“No!” I screamed. “Dorian!”
The nurse never missed a beat. She rushed around to the other side of the bed and ripped away the cables connected to his body. Yanking the blanket and sheets away, she exposed his torso and began to do chest compressions.
The entire time I stood there, shaking my head.
This couldn’t be happening, it wasn’t real.
Nurse Jasper hammered away at him, performing chest compressions for the better part of the minute. At one point, she stopped and looked straight at me.
“Do you know how to do this?” she gasped, struggling for breath.
I shook my head, somehow sputtering a reply. “No.”
With a gesture of her chin, she motioned for me to approach. “You’re about to learn.”
My mouth hung open. Without thinking, I staggered over towards her, shock overwhelming me while I looked at Dorian.
Was he dead? He looked dead. Oh my God. Oh my God.
The nurse snatched my arm in her fingers, snapping me out of it. “If you want this man to live, you need to pay attention!”
I swallowed hard and nodded my head. Nurse Jasper showed me the basic compression movements, and after guiding my hands through the first several she stepped back from me while I continued.
“That’s perfect,” she yelled. “Keep going!”
I glanced at her and then looked down at Dorian.
Stay focused, stay focused!
He seemed lifeless, all the strength and power I’d known gone. To make matters worse, pressing on him tired me out quickly. In some ways, it was like pushing into a heavy punching bag or a monstrous sandbag, every square inch of him solid muscle. I wondered how Nurse Jasper managed it.
Speaking of her, I glanced in her direction. Across from me, on the other side of the bed, she worked on his IV, switching out whatever was in there before with something else. Once she finished, she hurried around and walked up next to me again.
“I can take it from here,” she began, positioning her hands where mine had been. “You did great.”
Without a word, I stepped away and watched. She continued to perform compressions, all the while keeping her eyes glued on the IV and the monitoring equipment.
“What did you give him?” I asked.
She never looked up. “Epinephrine. It’s the only chance we have at this point.”
Every second was precious and judging by the changing color of Dorian’s skin, were on the wrong side of good luck.
“Anytime now…” The nurse said, continuing to pump away on his chest. “If he’s going to be responsive, it’s got to happen within the next ten seconds or so.”
“Or what?” I asked without hesitation.
She looked over her shoulder. “Or he’s going to…”
A loud, sustained beep came from the heart rate monitor. Both of us snapped our heads, our eyes glued to it. At first, there was a single loud beep. However, not long after, several beeps followed, choppy and erratic, until at last Dorian inhaled a huge breath and started to cough.
Oh my God! Tears came rushing to the corners of my eyes.
Relief washed over me, but Nurse Jasper never slowed down. She hurried around the bed again and grabbed hold of the IV, disconnecting the epinephrine. She spent the next several minutes reconnecting all of the cables she’d pulled away from him minutes earlier. In the meantime, Dorian’s coughing fit subsided, and once again he rested, drifting back into unconsciousness. When she’d finished, Nurse Jasper took one last look at him before turning and walking towards me.
“Is he going to be okay?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I can’t say for sure. He was unresponsive for several minutes. There are any number of complications that can occur in these situations. Once I speak with the doctor, I’ll let him know what happened. Until he’s able to examine Mr. Scott, we won’t know anything for certain.”