Lily nodded bravely, but she didn’t say anything as Roxie stood up and moved into the brightly lit hometown office. Before she managed to shut the door, a surprised gasp emerged from in front of the two of them, causing Lily to cling desperately to Roxie’s legs as they both gazed ahead.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” a woman cried, her lips turned up in a beaming smile, her eyes practically sparkling.
If Roxie thought she’d be able to do this meeting without any fanfare and then slip back to her small place and think some more about running away, that thought had just been brutally pushed from her mind.
Standing in front of her wearing a surprised-but-delighted smile was her former best friend, Eden Skultz. They’d been through thick and thin together all through their school years, and Eden had been one of the people Roxie had left behind. Guilt instantly filled her as she gazed at the woman who had been by her side for all the important events in her life.
“Hi, Eden,” Roxie said with a fake smile in place. “It’s great to see you. I’d forgotten you worked here,” she added far too lamely.
“Well, you’ve been gone a long time, so I can see the memory lapse,” Eden said with only the smallest hint of betrayal in her voice. She paused for only a moment before she rounded the desk she’d stood up from and came over to throw her arms around Roxie in a crushing embrace.
“Yeah, it’s been a few years,” Roxie said. She was perfectly aware of exactly how long it had been since she’d run away from this town, run away from Kian Forbes, but she didn’t need to say that out loud.
Finally, Eden let her go, but took her arm and walked with her to the sitting area, where coffee and snacks were laid out.
“I’m here for a meeting, but I don’t want to interrupt you,” Roxie said with a slight smile. She really just didn’t want the two of them to get into a discussion about the good old days, because she feared that would hurt too much.
“You know it’s always been relaxed here, and the two of us can definitely visit before you see the old man,” Eden countered as she took a seat and invited Roxie to do the same. Roxie didn’t have much of a choice without seeming rude. It was odd to have such thoughts around someone she’d once been so comfortable with.
“You’re looking great,” Roxie said, noting that her friend hadn’t changed at all in the years they’d been apart.
Eden laughed. “I’m a single woman. I have to at least try to maintain some semblance of my youth,” she said as she picked up an orange and began to peel it. “But you’re the one who’s been gone. I want to hear all about you since you’ve left our small town to travel the world.”
Roxie cringed. This was the type of question she’d expected from her small-town friends, but it wasn’t something she’d been looking forward to. It wasn’t as if she could tell them she’d gone out and conquered the world. For one thing, she’d been running away, not running toward something. For another, she’d accomplished a big fat zero. That wasn’t something someone wanted to admit to.
Before Roxie was able to say anything, Eden zeroed in on Lily, who was clinging to her leg. The child was so quiet, she would be easy to overlook at this point.
“Well, looks like at least one thing has changed in your life,” Eden said, making an assumption about Lily. This would be the hardest part that Roxie had to play in her new role in life, especially since she wasn’t sure what she could say.
Lily looked bored, and though Roxie had been playing the parent role for only about a month, she already knew that look meant trouble. She quickly dug into her oversize purse for the small figurines and handed them to her niece, who gratefully took them, instantly absorbed. Roxie let out a relieved breath.
“I have to admit, I’m a little jealous of how amazing you look,” Eden said with another warm smile, contradicting her words. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“I . . . um . . .” Roxie trailed off.
“And now you’re a mom,” Eden said, sadness in her eyes, though the words should be spoken in joy.
“Not really. I’m just trying to not screw things up,” Roxie admitted.
“You won’t,” Eden assured her. “I’m really sorry about the loss of your sister.”
The words nearly ripped Roxie’s heart from her chest. Of course, everyone would know about her sister, and know Roxie had Lily. Roxie wondered if they also knew about Kian’s role as her father. To even think about that gave Roxie an instant headache.
“Thank you,” Roxie finally said, not knowing what else she could add.
“We won’t dwell on that,” Eden assured her. “Tell me instead about your life. Are you married?”
So much had changed in the past few years that though it might appear on the outside that Roxie hadn’t grown much, she knew very well that she was a new person. She wasn’t as naive as she’d once been—that was for sure. Her looks might have matured the slightest bit since she was now a respectable twenty-six years old, but she had aged what felt like ten years on the inside.
She’d certainly matured in other ways—emotionally and physically. But maybe those were things that were so much more obvious to her than to an outsider. She cringed a little when thinking of Eden as an outsider. This was her best friend—or at least she’d once been her best friend, and now Roxie didn’t know her at all. She didn’t know anyone from her past anymore.
She really thought of her life in two parts. Her time in Edmonds, which was most of her life, and her time away, which was about four years. Though the time away was far shorter than her time growing up, the past four years were truly what had shaped her. She’d been little more than a girl when she’d left. She had no doubt she was now a woman, though she still didn’t know exactly who she was.
Was it sad that she had come back around in a seemingly endless circle? She was back where she’d begun, but she’d made no true progress in life. And now she was jobless, low on money, and responsible for her niece, whose life could forever be changed by any decisions Roxie made. That was a responsibility she didn’t want to take credit for.
Finally, Roxie thought about Eden’s comment about a husband. Though Roxie wasn’t wearing a ring, that didn’t seem to matter nowadays. She could see how people would assume she was in a happy little unit—husband, check, child, check, white-picket-fence home, check. If only life could be wrapped up so neatly with a pretty red bow on top.
But Roxie hadn’t managed to sustain a relationship, not since leaving Kian four years earlier. It truly wasn’t fair to the opposite sex when a woman dated a man like him first. No one seemed to compare. She’d make it on first dates, but then never could go back for a second, even when she berated herself, trying to make herself go. She always found an excuse and got out of it. That was her life now, it seemed.
Lily shifted in her seat and looked up at Roxie as if she was drawing from her uncertainty and nervousness. The child was bound to grow up neurotic having Roxie as her main caregiver. Roxie had the sudden urge to beg for forgiveness as she clung tightly to her niece. She somehow managed not to do just that. Eden was waiting patiently as Roxie wrestled with all these thoughts. It felt like hours, but only seconds had passed.