He stared at her. The stunned expression on his face soothed her confidence. “What are you talking about? Sawyer asked you on a date?”
“Yes.”
He gritted his teeth in masculine temper. “When?”
“I went to see him in his office. I told him I was stepping out of the deal due to my mistake, and that the figure I gave was impossible.”
A vicious curse escaped his lips. “You were supposed to let me handle it.”
Carina lifted her chin. “If I make a mistake I fix it, Max. You should know that about me by now.”
He rubbed his forehead. “I do. I just wish you didn’t feel like you always have to take on the world by yourself in order to prove you’re worthy.”
The statement hit her full force. He did know her, more intimately than any other man. “Well, it’s done now. Sawyer agreed not to let my blunder affect the negotiations.”
“Did you feel you had to go out with him? Did he pressure you?”
“No. I wanted to.”
He jerked back. “Sawyer is out of your league, Carina. Stay away from him.”
He may have repeated her own thoughts but it still pissed her off. “You don’t know what league I play in any longer. How long have you been friends?”
“Long enough to know he’s not right for you.”
“Then who is?”
He practically brooded at the direct challenge, focusing his attention on his wine. She hoped for a bit of jealousy to throw him off, but once again, he backed off from a challenge by hiding behind a twisted sense of honor. “Let’s change the subject, shall we?”
“Sure. I got a Brazilian wax today.”
He choked on the piece of bread in his mouth. Eyes watering, he lowered his voice. “Are you kidding me? Don’t talk about stuff like that.”
The sweat beading his brow told her he was uncomfortable in other aspects. “Why not? If you insist on topics of conversation that portray me as a little girl, I guess I have to remind you I’m all grown up.” She winked. “Wanna see?”
A flush crept up his cheek. “No. And don’t let anyone else see, either.” He shifted in his chair. “You’re playing a screwed-up game with me and you’re not thinking of the consequences.”
“Let’s go over the options then, shall we?” She put up her hand and ticked off the items with each finger. “We’re both consenting adults. Attracted to each other. It’s only for one night. And we move on. What’s the problem I’m missing?”
The waiter set down matching plates of Chilean sea bass baked under a hard salty crust. The Yukon potatoes were chopped and served tableside, dripping with oil, garlic, and herbs. She speared a flaky piece of fish and moaned over the gorgeous texture and crisp skin. “Damn, this is good,” she said.
“I know. The polenta is cooked perfectly. Try it paired with the tomato.”
“Okay.”
They ate in reverent silence for a while, each lapsing into a food-induced coma of pleasure. Finally he roused himself and took up the conversation. “Let me tell you all the reasons we shouldn’t have an affair.”
“One-night stand.”
“Whatever. First, your brother trusts me to protect you and I would lose his loyalty. Second, our mothers know each other and they’d freak. Third, you technically work for me, and that could blur the lines between us in business.”
“Michael and our moms will never know. Our work relationship won’t be affected since I’ll be with another division. Why shouldn’t we indulge ourselves? Wouldn’t it be better if you were my first sexual experience rather than someone I don’t know?”
Anger spit in waves around him. “Don’t throw away your virginity for some society crap that tells women to seize the day. It should be special, with someone you love. Not used on a physical fling with no future. The answer is no. You can argue and cajole and tempt me all you want. I am not going to sleep with you or engage in a short affair that could ruin our whole foundation. I won’t risk it.”
Raw need burst from her belly and strangled her. It wasn’t going to work. Her one-night fantasy was just that—a fantasy. Deep down, she just wasn’t worth the risk to him. Another experience that told her she wasn’t the type of woman to drive a man so mad with desire he’d break the rules. Even half-naked and throwing her pride away. Dear God, even her seduction attempts were centered around a logical conversation of assets and liabilities for an affair. Humiliation burned. She craved to crawl into her bed, pull the covers up over her head, and cry. Just like she’d done so many times in her past when she realized Maximus Gray could never want her in the crazy way she did him.
The dream wafted away in a cloud of smoke, almost like a mirage. Max gazed at her with concern. The same damn look he always gave that could never satisfy or scratch the surface of her darkest fantasies.
Maybe someone else could.
An image of Sawyer flashed in her mind. A man interested in her like a woman, not a childhood friend. With him, she may be able to experience everything she craved. Maybe it was time to take the leap into the unknown. She was so tired of going to bed night after night alone. Lonely and unsatisfied at twenty-six years old. How sad was that?
Slowly, she blotted her lips with the napkin and forced a smile. “I guess your decision is made.”
“Trust me, this is best for all of us involved.”
She nodded. “Understood. There’s one thing you must promise me though.”
“What?”
Carina lifted her chin and met his gaze. “Let me go.”
He blinked. “I’m sorry I upset you, cara. Please don’t tell me I’ve lost your friendship. It means everything to me.”
She forced back the tears that burned her lids. “You’ll never lose me completely. In a way, I think I’ll always be a part of your life. But I can’t play this game anymore. I need to move on and make my own choices, on my own terms. Tonight, you made the decision to cut the ties between us. You lost your right to tell me who to sleep with.”
He gritted his teeth and leaned forward. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to disrespect yourself in order to get back at me.”
A humorless laugh escaped her lips. “Dio, how arrogant. And you have every right to think that, because I’ve given you so much power. But not anymore. I won’t sleep alone tonight. And that’s not because I’m disrespecting myself, you bastard. It’s because I’m finally claiming what I’ve wanted for a long time. A man who makes me explode with pleasure and can take me places I crave to go. A man to hold me and give me orgasms and share the night with. You gave up that right tonight.”
“Carina, don’t.”
She pushed her chair back and stood. “If you have any respect for me at all, you’ll leave me alone. I deserve that, Max.” Carina put her napkin down. “Thank you for dinner.”
“Wait.”
She paused. Seconds ticked by. The sounds of the busy restaurant flowed around them, the click of silverware and glasses, the ringing of laughter, the slide of the boats cutting through the water below. She waited as he seemed to struggle with his demons. A muscle in his jaw ticked.
A turning point hung between them. Her heart pounded and she waited for his final decision. His carved features twisted into a tortured expression and he opened his mouth. His words hung in the air like a cartoon balloon, blank until the artist sketched in the final ending.