“Back home to Switzerland? Belarus? What was that place called?”
“Bellissime.”
“Right.” He peered at Loch. “So if you went home, how come you came back?”
Loch was silent, mentally trying to parse out how much to talk about. He wanted to pour out all his feelings for Taylor, the despair he felt knowing he’d lost her, but he wasn’t sure how Rex would take it. So he said nothing. The waitress came over to them and they ordered food. He turned back to Rex once both orders were in and two glasses of soda were set down in front of them. “I came back because I went home and it wasn’t the same.”
“You got bored?” Rex guessed.
“I did.” He smiled ruefully. “The bubble I was living in? I think it burst.”
“Can’t say that’s a bad thing. Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone is good.”
“It is,” Loch agreed. The conversation felt woefully . . . inadequate. Like he was skirting around the real issue. He decided to take a chance. “The real reason I came back . . . the girl I mentioned? I messed it up. I came back because I wanted to make it right with her.”
Rex pocketed a stack of napkins. “You didn’t tell her the truth, did you?”
“Nope.” He felt sick, and the smell of greasy food just made it worse.
“Thought you could get away with it?”
“Yeah. I was pretty wrong about that, it seems.” Loch sighed and took a sip of his drink. “Wrong about a lot of things. I didn’t realize how much she meant to me until I lost her.”
“Happens that way with a lot of women.”
That didn’t make him feel better. “I need her back. I’m nothing without her.”
“Nice words, but I imagine she’ll have a say in the matter.”
She would. He thought of Taylor’s hurt, angry face, the tears she’d wept when she’d realized he was using her. His stomach knotted all over again. “I imagine she will. But if I can fix it, I want to give it a try. I want to fix what I broke with her. And I want to fix what’s wrong with me. I’m tired of being dependent on everyone else. I’m going to stand on my own two feet for a while. Get a house, figure out what I want to do with my life, the works.”
Rex nodded slowly. “I’m proud of you. Takes balls to admit when you’re wrong.”
Strangely enough, Rex’s praise felt good. “Thanks. I want to help you, too.”
“Oh?” The man’s tone became distant, wary.
“Not charity,” Loch said quickly. “I want to help you get on your feet because you’ve been a good friend to me and I’d do that for any of my friends. I don’t want anything out of it other than to help you. Tell me what you need.”
Rex grunted and took a long drink of his soda, emptying the glass down to the ice. He shook it at the waitress, then looked over at Loch. “I don’t need anything other than a friend, Loch Ness. I’m not into handouts.”
“Really? Because you take my handouts every time I come by.”
Rex snorted with laughter. “Turning the tables on me? I like it! All right. Fair enough. Maybe it’s not the handouts as much as I don’t like being beholden to anyone. You know the feeling.”
“I do. Very much so.” Loch rubbed his chin, thinking. “What do you like to do? For a living?”
“Why? You offering me a job? You don’t even have one.”
“Humor me.”
Rex was silent for a long moment, then glanced over at Loch. “Grew up on a farm. I like horses. Cattle. Things like that. Working with my hands.” His smile grew thin. “Good luck finding me that here in the city.”
“Actually . . .” Loch grinned and clapped a hand on Rex’s back. “Did I mention I’m purchasing a house here? And probably a few horses? I could use a man to look after my stables once I get settled.”
Rex’s bushy brows drew together. He scratched at his beard. “Why are you so fired up to hire a fuckin’ hobo? For all you know, I murdered someone and got out of prison and that’s why I’m on the street.”
“Did you?”
“No. But there probably ain’t gorgeous stuff on my background check, if you know what I’m saying.”
“Then I’ll pay you like shit. Room and board and minimum wage or some other equally terrible deal if it’ll make you feel better.” Loch sipped his drink again, waiting for Rex to mull over the offer. “It’s not charity. I’m going to hire someone to look after my horses because I love riding. Might as well be you unless you can give me a good reason for it not to be you. I like to hire friends.”
Rex’s mouth pursed. He stared ahead for a long time. Then slowly, he nodded. “Thanks, man. I . . . I appreciate it.” He looked over at Loch. “You gonna go around saving every hobo in New York? That’s gonna end up being some big-ass house.”
“No, but I imagine I’ll need a groundskeeper and a few other staff if you have any friends that are struggling. You can tell them the pay is wretched but it’s room and board included. And it probably won’t be in the city. I can’t see having horses close to here. Might be too far out for most to bother with.”
“I’ll let you know. And if it’s going to be that far out, I might need another dollar or two an hour so I can afford a car . . . or at least a bicycle.”
“Fair enough. We’ll talk price when I buy the place and move in.” Loch felt good. This was good. It was a start. Plus, he was being selfish—if Rex worked for him, he’d get the pleasure of his company every day, and he enjoyed their chats. They made him think. He needed that in his life, needed people to point out to him that he was being a spoiled child. “Might be a couple of weeks.”
“Well, you know where I’ll be,” Rex said dryly.
“Can I put you up somewhere until then?” At the dirty look Rex shot him, Loch raised his hands in the air. “All right, all right. One step at a time.”
They fell into a comfortable silence as the waitress refilled their glasses and then dropped off their plates. Loch took a bite of his grilled cheese. A bit greasy, but still tasty.
“So,” Rex said, eating a French fry. “Tell me more about the girl. It didn’t work out with her?”
“No.” Loch sighed and wiped his hands on his napkin, immediately losing his appetite. He’d had a hell of a time eating since Taylor had left him. “She got upset with me, and rightfully so. I should have fixed it then, but I let her walk away. Went home to lick my wounds. Kinda thought it was for the best, except . . .”