"And how have you been, Trent?"
Trent took a long, slow inhale, then snapped, "How do you think I've been? I've been a wreck."
Lily nodded. She was never good at smoothing over fights. They had always been honest with each other, bluntly so, and being soothing was not in her nature. He could tell she'd already given up trying to appease him.
"If you're going to yell at me, just do it," she said quietly. "Please. It would make me feel better if you did, actually."
"I'm not going to shout at you just to ease your guilty conscience," he said, but oh how he wanted to.
"I did a horrible thing. Not just to you, but to Bex."
"Yes, you did," he quickly agreed. "You disappeared out of our lives without a second thought. You have never checked on him, you've never asked about me, you just...left. You were done with us. So what is it, exactly, that you want from me now? What are you doing here, and I want the real answer?”
Lily rubbed her forehead with her finger, and he watched her as though she were an apparition that would disappear any moment. "I broke things off with my boyfriend," she finally said.
"Good for you."
"And I want to come home," she said, her face falling into an emotional, unsure frown.
The request caused an involuntary laugh to leave Trent's throat. A bitter, bitter laugh.
"I'm serious, Trent," she urged. "I made a mistake, a big one, and I know that I can't just expect to come back and have you forgive me and then everything will be the same. I know I have a lot to make up for to you and to Bex."
His ex-wife trailed off then, and he could see tears forming in her eyes. "I don't even know him, Trent. I don't even know what he looks like."
"Whose fault is that?" he said with venom, aiming a finger at her. "That's your fault. I never kept him from you."
"I know you're mad," she said, putting her hands and lowering them slowly as if to shush him.
"Yes! Yes, I'm mad! You left!" he exclaimed. "You left, and you can't just come back and change your mind because things didn't work out with your boyfriend!"
Lily burst into tears and covered her face with her hands. She looked so frail and so hurt that Trent's anger immediately evaporated. He was always weak to Lily, especially when she cried. He didn't want to upset her or shout at her, but this outburst had been nearly two years in the making, and as far as he was concerned, she was getting off easy.
"I know I can't, but I would die if I didn't at least try," she said as a cracking sob left her throat. "And do you know why they didn't work out for the other guy and me?"
Trent held his breath, staring intensely into her eyes.
"Because I couldn’t stop loving you, Trent. You're like, in my blood, or something!" She sounded frustrated and earnest and vulnerable all in the same breath, and suddenly, something in him settled. "You are my whole world. You have literally been my whole entire life, and you're about to know how serious I'm being, because you know how much I hate saying this, but you were right."
He exhaled calmly, feeling his emotions toiling up the more upset she got. "About what?"
"About everything," she said. "About how it was a mistake leaving and how I shouldn't have done it. How I would leave to 'find myself' and end up right back where I belong—with you. That I would hurt you. I'm just so sorry, Trent. I hurt the person I loved more than anything."
"You loved yourself more than anything."
Lily considered his words. "Maybe in that moment," she admitted. "Maybe for a little while. But not anymore."
"Well, hey now, let's throw a big 'Lily's come to her senses' party."
She gave a small laugh—the kind of laugh you reach for in misery when you're trying to cling to anything to make your situation seem normal again.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you. Even hearing you be sarcastic with me is just..." she lowered her head and let out another small cry. "It's such a relief. I just can't even believe you're talking to me. I know I don't deserve it, but—”
"No, you don't," he said.
"But I'm happy to be home."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he said, tossing a hand into the air. "No, you can't just 'come home.'"
Her whole body seemed to sink into the couch. "Oh," she said sadly.
"You can see Bex, and we can make an arrangement for that because I told you I would never keep him from you. But if you're going to be in his life, you have to be in his life. You can't just see him and then take off again. You have to stick around Nueces."
"That's what my plan is," she said quickly. "I'm going to get an apartment and see him, and I'm really hoping...you know, that we can work things out, or at least try. We've spent too much time together not to at least try, Trent."
"Funny, isn't that what I said to you two years ago? We owe it to our relationship to try? You're just bored, you'll get over it? I love you, I love you, I love you?" he shook his head, frustrated and beyond confused. "Didn't I beg?"
Lily cried harder and reached out for his hand. "I'm trying to make things right, Trent. Please, don't prevent me from doing it."
"I won't," he said. "I want you to. I want you to make an effort with Bex, but as for you and me, I mean..." he trailed off into a shrug. "I'm with someone else," he admitted, feeling sick to his stomach even saying the words to someone he used to love so much.
"You are?" she asked, pulling in a surprised breath.
"Yeah."
"And it's serious?"
"Yeah, it is," he said.
"Does she live with you? Has she met Bex?"
"Bex loves her," he said. "And no, she doesn't live with me. But that might be changing soon."
Lily nodded and squeezed his hand in hers. "Just wait. Please. Take the advice I couldn't and just...think about it, okay? Let's try to figure this out before we do anything we regret."
"For a second time," he added.
"Yes, for a second time," she said firmly. "Because Trent, I'm telling you, I regretted what I did the moment I left the front door."
"Then why didn't you turn around?"
She seemed taken aback by his question, her back going stiff.
"You know how much I loved you, Lil. Why didn't you just turn around and tell me you were losing it? Why didn't you just say sorry and come home? I would have taken you back," he snapped his fingers, "like that."
"I don't know why I didn't," she said. "But I'm here now. The real question is whether or not I'm too late."
14
Grace
Grace woke up earlier than usual that morning. She hopped in the shower, threw on a faux-denim sundress that crisscrossed in the back, and walked into the kitchen, ready for breakfast.
Usually, on the mornings when she worked at the yacht, she would make a hearty breakfast because she knew that she wouldn’t get to each lunch at a proper time. But today, all she wanted to be honey, granola, and Greek yogurt.