“You mean that?” I rasp.
“ I think you should know by now that I’m not likely to say things I don’t mean.” He nods with that cocky smile I’ve grown used to. When it recedes and the seriousness comes back into his face I know he’s about to delve deeper into the questions he wants to ask. So I gear up to receive them. “Why didn’t you tell me about Rosie?”
That’s question one, and the most glaringly obvious question.
I already have the answer prepped for that.
“I didn’t want you to judge me,” I answer and surprise suffuses his handsome face.
“Judge you? Doll, I would never do that. The girls knew. Louise and Mimi knew you had a kid, but I didn’t. I guess I never thought to ask.”
“I didn’t want to look like a bad mother. A whore. Prostitute.” My hands shake.
“That’s not what you are.”
“Isn’t it? Christian, I don’t know how you can say that to me.” I shake my head and my eyes water. I’ve cried so damn much I don’t know how I have any tears left. “How can you say that to me when you know that’s what I am. The night we first met you basically asked me what I was doing there. I said I needed the job and I think you know I was in trouble. what you didn’t know was I was desperate. I owed that debt and Rosie and I had just climbed out of hell.”
He rivets his gaze to me. “Tell me what happened to you Lilly. What hell did you come from?”
“Columbia. Rosie’s father was from there and part of the cartel. He died. before that though…” My voice trails off. “He used to beat me so badly I didn’t know if I was going to make it from one minute to the next. I was with him for four years, married for four years and free of him for the last year. We left Columbia and came to Chicago just before Christmas. I’ve been trying ever since to get back on track, but it’s hard when you have to start over with a child. The Dark Odyssey was my ticket out. Selling my body was the last resort and the last thing I thought I could do to make sure Rosie had the life she should.”
There. That’s the truth in a nutshell. It’s everything. The whole explanation of everything that’s happened to me and how I got where I am.
Christian moves over to sit next to me . He takes my hand and I look at his holding mine.
“What you are is brave. Willing to do anything for your child. That’s what it is. You aren’t a whore and I don’t want to hear you say that again.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze and studies me. “Lilly, what do you want to do? I mean for you. For yourself. Take Rosie out of the equation.”
That’s a no brainer. There’s only one thing I’ve always wanted to do.
“Dance,” I answer. “I want to dance the way I used to. I would love to get into the Aurora. I would. I won’t even be auditioning until January, but I can actually see myself there.” A smile tugs at the corners of my lips.
“Okay, so that’s months away. What about now? What do you want to do now? Lilly if you don’t want to dance at the club anymore it’s okay. I’ll still give you the money. All of it.”
I bolt upright. This man is full of surprises. I glare at him in complete disbelief. I’m in complete awe but I don’t want him to feel sorry for me. It wouldn’t be right for him to do that.
“No. You can’t do that.”
He chuckles. “Baby, you keep telling I can’t do stuff and I give you the same answer. What do you think I’m gonna say now?”
“Christian—”
“Lilly,” he interrupts. “I won’t lie. People love watching you dance. You’re a different kind of escape. My club is about escape and fantasy. And you’re the angel who gives the escape just from watching you. But I don’t want you to do it if you don’t want to.”
I look him over as he stands too and think about all he’s done, and all he’s offering. If not for him, only God knows what would have happened to me and Rosie if he hadn’t come along when he did, and how the fuck would I feel now if he hadn’t made the offer to just be with him. I was only with him. Right from the start.
“I want to continue as I was. I’ll dance in the club. For you. I’ll dance for you.”
That seems to surprise him. he ruins his hand over his chin and gives me a long stare.
“Okay, how about this. I’ll change the offer slightly,” he says straightening up. “I’m still giving you a million dollars, but it’s to dance for me. No strings attached. You still walk away at the end of the show and you go after your dream.”
“Really Christian?”
“Yeah, but I’m still the selfish bastard who still wants you. There’s no way I’m gonna have you dancing in my club and not have you.”
“You want me?”
“I do. I want you and you should stay here with Rosie.”
“Christian, I couldn’t impose on you like that. It’s crazy having a three year old. I don’t want us being here to drive you crazy too.”
“I’m already crazy. I have enough little cousins who are more like nieces and nephews to drive me bat shit mad. One more won’t make completely nuts. So how about that Angel?”
I smile at him and nod. “You’d really want us to stay? The two of us.”
“Yeah. I do.” He answers and reaches out to touch my face.
“Thank you,” I mutter. “It means a lot.”
“You’re welcome.”
I hug him and as he holds me I allow myself to savor the safety I feel when I’m with him. I savor the feel of him and what he does to me.
I allow myself to savor whatever this is between us. That spark in this no strings attached arrangement.
It’s going to be hard to walk away when it’s over.
I’ve never felt that spark with anyone before.
How ironic that it’s him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Christian
I took the last two days off to spend time getting Lilly and Rosie settled in.
It was a different experience for me. Knowing her story enraged me and curiosity compelled me dig around and see who this husband of hers was. She didn’t give me a name but I found it.
Miguel Diaz. That was him. The name of her husband. He was killed in a police shoot last year. I dug around a little and saw that guy was one nasty motherfucker. I don’t know how he got a woman like Lilly. She would have been twenty two when they got married. It all fits together now like a puzzle.
That four year absence makes sense. Now that I know where she was. When she said she went through hell, she really did.
She looks better today but a bit shaky. Doc told me that those bastards must have had to punch her hard and several times to mess her up the way they did. she was lucky none of her facial bones got broken. Hearing that made me want to end the fuckers all over again.
I didn’t want to leave her today but with the heist planned for Friday, it’s time to get back on track.
Two weeks have flown by and it’s time to gear up for battle.
The guys were already in Vincent’s office when I get there.
The last time I saw everyone was back at Lilly’s apartment. It’s been awhile since we killed anybody the way we wiped out those assholes.