Stig squeezes my palm and looks at me hopefully, but I don’t know what to say. He admitted himself that he goes into things too quickly, and something tells me a relationship would be a distraction from what he really needs to do: deal with his feelings about his parents’ break-up and work things out with his mum. If I’m honest, a relationship wouldn’t be right for me either. I have so much to think about with Mum and the tree and starting a new life. As much as it would be lovely to have his support, I need to focus on myself.
‘I’m sorry, but I don’t th—’ A ball of sadness rises to my throat as I realise what I’m about to do.
Stig’s expression darkens, hope replaced by disappointment. He sees my face and gives me a tiny smile. ‘Hey, it’s OK to want something and not at the same time. Life is like that sometimes, complicated.’ There’s such kindness in his voice, I can tell he doesn’t want me to feel bad.
My heart twists at the thought of losing him. Forcing myself to be strong, I take a deep breath and hold his gaze. ‘I know I didn’t answer you before, but I did miss you.’ Stig arches an eyebrow and I continue. ‘It’s just . . . I need to focus on Mum and things, and I think it would be better if you went home and saw your family.’
He huffs and I hold his sleeve and pull at the material. ‘It’s what you need to do.’
Stig gives me a wary look. ‘Is that your professional opinion?’
I nod and continue, ‘You need to stop running, Stig. You need to work through whatever issues you have with your mum, and you need to make a life for yourself and put down roots.’ He smiles at me wonderingly and dimples appear on his cheeks. ‘If I’d known you were this good, I’d have insisted on my twenty-minute reading in the psychic tent.’ When I don’t answer, his shoulders slump and his voice becomes serious. ‘I suppose you’re right. I can’t keep avoiding Mum forever.’
I fight back tears and try to smile. ‘Maybe we can meet up as friends some time.’
‘I’d like that. And I’m going to text every day.’
‘And I might reply . . . if I’m not too busy.’
He laughs and then glances towards the exit. ‘The police are organising transport and hotel rooms for people. Do you want me to get your bag from the caravan?’
I take the key from my pocket and hand it to him. ‘Thanks. I’ll meet you by the entrance in a bit.’
The thought of saying goodbye makes my throat ache with unshed tears. He looks at me and his eyes shine with emotion, as if he knows this could be the last time we’ll be together.
‘Back soon, then.’
I nod and his gaze lingers on me a moment longer, then he turns and walks away. I tell myself it’s for the best, but my heart aches with regret. I know it’s the right thing to do, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I watch him go, and then my thoughts turn to Mum.
I phone her and she answers instantly. ‘Martha!’
‘Everything is fine. I’m coming home now.’
‘Oh, thank goodness. I did as you asked and I went to the tree.’ She sounds out of breath and for a moment I worry she’s scared, but then I realise it’s excitement I can hear in her voice. ‘I met the Norns. They showed me a vision in the well and I understand now. I know why it’s so important that I take care of the tree. You have such an important destiny to fulfil, Martha. You mustn’t worry about me.’
‘Really? You spoke to them? That’s amazing. I want to hear all about it when I get back.’
‘We’ll see each other soon enough, don’t worry. I love you, Martha, and I’m so proud of you and what you’re about to do.’
I ask what she means but the line goes dead. I’ll be home soon; she can tell me then.
Flashing blue and red lights flicker through the wall of trees in the distance. I pause by the ticket tent and gaze across the snowy field. The wooden archway is lit by a single spotlight. Surrounded by swirling smoke and falling ash it looks indestructible, as if it’s been standing for a thousand years and will stand for a thousand more.
I know I won the wager, but I still can’t believe it’s all over. I glance behind me at the destroyed circus, relieved to finally leave this place, and then turn back and gasp. Nina is standing in front of the archway. She gazes at me with empty black eyes then nods. It feels like a farewell. I have so many questions; was she sent to haunt me against her will? Where will she go now?
I raise my arm, about to call out, when a figure emerges from the swirling smoke behind her: a man in a grey cloak and a wide-brimmed hat, holding a walking staff. He rests a hand on Nina’s back and a smile spreads across her face. She looks at me one final time, then walks through the archway and vanishes.
The man touches the brim of his hat in acknowledgement, and I stare at his long grey beard and single eye in wonder. I know who he is, but I want him to tell me.
‘Who are you?’ I call.
He turns and speaks loudly, his voice rich and velvety. ‘A single name have I never had. Grimnir the Masked One, Ofner and Svafner, Gatherer of Lost Souls am I.’ He bangs his walking staff and shadows stream towards him from every direction. I step back as a rush of icy air chills my face. More and more of the dead come, sucked into the archway. They swirl and spin, just like the others did when they followed the rope into the tree, and I smile with relief. The dead won’t be left to wander; he’ll return them to where they belong.
I walk towards him and stop a few paces away. I can’t let him leave without giving me answers. ‘Why did you choose me? What was it all for? Please, I need to know.’
Odin holds out his right fist. ‘You like things that are easy to understand, meanings so small and neat you can hold them in the palm of your hand. Win or lose, good or bad – everything black and white, as my friend Loki likes to say. But things are never that simple.’ I study his face and his single blue eye sparkles. ‘Sometimes the truth is grey, and sometimes there is none to be found.’ He uncurls his fingers and his palm is empty.
The gesture reminds me of the vision when I opened my fist and found the metal pin. I reach my hand to my cloak and touch it now. Odin smiles kindly and his laughter lines deepen. ‘The sign of the Valkyrie. A gift for a gift and the price is danger.’
Suddenly I understand what he meant in the vision. He wasn’t trying to trick me into asking for his help, he was offering me a reward for winning the wager! If I accept and become a Valkyrie, I need to know it could be dangerous. Loki was twisting things and trying to fill my head with doubt, as usual.
Odin touches the brim of his hat and adds, ‘My gift to you – now yours for the taking.’
‘So the wager . . . it was to test me?’
Odin strokes his beard. ‘Yes and no. The wager was the lesser of two evils – an exercise in damage limitation, if you will. Loki would not be deterred; I took the steps necessary to lessen the impact of his mischief.’
I nod, accepting his justification. Loki was set on destroying the entire circus and everyone here. People were hurt, but it could have been worse if I hadn’t won the wager.
‘As for testing you, I prefer to call it an opportunity for observation. Just because a person can see things others cannot, doesn’t mean they’re able to perceive the truth. That skill requires a certain wisdom. I had to know if you were ready.’