“You will,” I whispered. “But not tonight. Rest for tonight. You need to heal.”
“I can hardly lift my head,” he said, laughing grimly and quietly. “I’m not even sure I can do that much.”
Gently, I reached for his hands, working the knots loose on his bonds and freeing them. They found my waist almost immediately, drawing me to him in a way that made my heart quicken within me.
“You freed me, Aella of House Apidae,” he whispered reverently. “I owe my freedom to you. It feels ... I can’t describe the feeling of having my heart to myself. Although it’s not really my own any longer. It belongs entirely to you. You’ve redeemed what is yours. You’ve bought my will from my captor and my body from the rule of Le Majest. They are yours forever.”
I watched his lips as he spoke, hardly believing that this could be true. After so many times that he had to follow that up with hurt, this time, he simply held me like a piece of pottery too fragile to trust to anyone else. One thumb stroked my waist and the warmth of his hands bled through my clothing and filled me with little shivers that had nothing to do with the temperature of the air.
He tried to lean forward and then snorted a laugh at himself when he didn’t have the strength for even that.
“I should give you the brew the healer sent,” I whispered.
“Please, not yet,” he pled through those gorgeous curved lips. “Those things always make you sleep, and I want to drink you in, if only for a few more moments. In my life, very few things have truly been mine to hold and keep, and what few things I have had, have all been ripped from my grasp. But this moment is mine. It’s a treasure beyond what I could reasonably have hoped for. Or unreasonably.”
My breath caught and I bit my lip again, this time feeling suddenly self-conscious. That he was choosing to make this his moment – to give himself fully to me – it felt like too much, like something I wasn’t worthy to receive, and yet I wanted it so desperately, I couldn’t turn him down. Not for a second.
I leaned in gently and kissed him – softly, carefully, savoring the sweetness of his lips and the way they melded to mine like we were two halves meant to fit together. Sweet agony seared me as the feather in my chest rebelled, seizing my heart and making it beat arrhythmically so that my breathing grew difficult and pain seared through my breast. And yet, I wasn’t willing to stop. Not even to spare myself the pain.
I drew back long enough for a breath and Osprey was smiling – a rare thing for him. The sight of it nearly broke my heart.
“House Apidae,” he whispered.
“Yes?”
“I think I’ll take that nickname now.”
I paused a moment, thinking. “I’ll call you Hunter because that was what you were – the hunter who started to chase my spirit but eventually won my heart.”
“I didn’t plan that,” he protested.
“Complain in the morning. Right now, you take your medicine.”
It was harder than I could have imagined to will myself to slip from his grasp but I was careful not to wake anyone as I found the herbs the healer had given me and mixed them with water. I helped him lift his head to drink.
“House Apidae,” he whispered to me when he was finished.
“Hunter?” I teased.
His dimple showed at that. “Lie here with me as I fall asleep?”
“Of course,” I said, slipping down beside him and twining my fingers through his. “You should know,” I said awkwardly, “that while my loyalties and my heart have been spoken for against my will, they are yours. Yours entirely.”
He sighed contentedly and winked at me.
I leaned in to kiss him and found he was kissing me with more energy than I thought he had. I fought to stay silent as I kissed him, so I wouldn’t wake anyone else in the crowded room. But when I kissed him back, I poured my whole heart into those silent kisses as if there would never be another chance for more. And there might not be. Not when tomorrow morning meant revolution. And I was needed at that revolution. I should probably have told him that, but I was far too engrossed in what we were doing, on the scent and taste of him, on this intense intimacy I hadn’t dared hope for. By the time I thought I might have the willpower to stop, his kisses were slowing sleepily, and then our lips parted and he snuggled into his blankets, his lips still moving slightly as if he thought he was kissing me as he drifted into a drugged sleep.
I sighed with regret. I had the feeling that no matter how many kisses I had from him, they would never be enough.
Awet popped his head in the door just as I was starting to drift off. There were sounds from outside. I was instantly awake and sitting up, sending a quick glance to Osprey and was relieved when I saw his relaxed face and deep breathing.
“Chandres is here. Get Abghar,” Awet whispered to me before leaving again and closing the door.
I picked my way through the sleeping bodies to the room on the main floor where Abghar and his wife and children were sleeping. It had been a large pantry before, and it was packed tight with bodies. It took only the faintest whisper and my oldest brother was up. I looked away as he kissed each of his little ones and his wife and then I followed him through the dark house through the back door and into the sharp cold of the night.
Chapter Twelve
I CLOSED THE DOOR QUIETLY behind me when I saw who was there, wishing I’d brought my swords instead of leaving them beside Osprey. Chandres was front and center with Wing Essena looking smug beside him and around them were the other faces I’d seen at the table last night. The heads of the Houses represented here – grim-faced men and women, some looking slightly ashamed of themselves, others calculating and distant.
It took me a moment to realize that Abghar had snatched up a mug of cold tea left out last night and a half-eaten roll on his way out the door. He leaned against the house and took a bite of the roll, the picture of sanguine calm, both hands so full he couldn’t draw a weapon in time if he were attacked.
“Light a lamp sister,” he nodded to a lantern placed on the front step and then to one lit above the door. “Our guests may prefer to move in the dark, but I like shedding light on the situation.”
I moved to obey, puzzled at first, but when I saw the uncertainty in the faces of those who had come to confront us, it made sense. This show of calm took them by surprise. It was hard to rail on someone who was this confident and this friendly. Who didn’t have a weapon, just a half-eaten roll and a mug of cold tea. I lit the lamp with care and held it up as they spoke.
“You left the decision to us, House Shrike. You closed ranks and left with distrust in your hearts.”
Abghar took a long sip of the cold tea, appearing to enjoy it. “We don’t turn on our own, Chandres. You should know that. We still plan to fight just as we all planned.”
“With her beside you? The wife of Le Majest?” Chandres’s words got louder as he spoke.
“If you don’t mind, my children are sleeping in that house and I’d prefer to keep them asleep,” Abghar said, taking another sip of tea for all the world as if he was unaffected. Beside us, Awet was practically vibrating he was so tense. I tried to copy Abghar’s feigned ease, holding the lamp in a steady hand.