“You were stationed on the far side. You were the one closest to the back door. If anyone saw the beast or heard someone cry out, it was you.”
The beast must have come back in the night. Death always created a spectacle.
I scanned the crowd, looking for Xander, but couldn’t find him among the group.
“I’m telling you, I didn’t see anything,” the soldier whined, the tips of his boots scraping the gravel as he struggled to find purchase.
Tossing the wool blanket to the side, I only then became aware of the dried rust color across my feet.
Blood.
I became light-headed and crumpled to the ground.
No! Did it happen again? Did I sleepwalk? Have I done something to Xander? Is it his blood? Did I kill him?
Maybe I was wrong about everything, and my own paranoia deceived me.
My mouth was dry as cotton, and a bitter taste filled it as my worst fears came to light—me covered in blood and Xander missing.
It was me.
I was the murderer.
I was the beast.
Chapter Twenty-Two
My tears soaked the wool blanket upon which I lay. My right hand curled into the straw-covered earth as I silently screamed in horror, sobbing, letting my heart cry out but refusing to make a sound other than soft gasps. I mustn’t alert anyone of my troubles. My blackouts, the visions, the killings. Too many times I’d awoken covered in blood and shredded clothes to not put two and two together. My mother and Lorn were wrong. They had to be. It was why I was so closely connected to the killer, because we were one and the same.
The medicine no longer worked to keep my darkness at bay, and because I lacked the access to readily available magic here, it weakened me, making me succumb to the beast within. This kingdom really was cursed. Leaving was my only option, hopefully before I injured another person.
Washing my feet, hands, and face in the horse trough, I tried to hide and destroy all evidence of the blood. Grabbing a rucksack, I packed it with what little provisions Xander had brought to the stall, as well as extra blankets for my journey. It seemed the only way to keep my promise to the prince was to leave. Only then would he be safe. If I were a strong enough person, I would try and take my own life, but I was a coward, and I feared death.
I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and headed deep into the woods, using a compulsion to keep everyone from looking my way. I turned back only once to the manor house and saw the compulsion hadn’t worked on everyone, for Earlsgaarde was staring right at me with alert and perceptive eyes.
Had he known all along what I was?
He didn’t raise an alarm at my sneaking away; in fact, he seemed quite calm. He even gave me a nod.
Turning my back on him, I picked up my pace, hoping to avoid the guards who had already began their search for the missing person.
It wasn’t until I heard the search party call out the person’s name for the third time that it truly registered how evil I was and what I had done.
“Pru!” Tipper’s voice echoed in the woods. “Prudence!”
My knees buckled and my legs gave out as I fell to the ground shaking.
No. Not Pru! Had I killed the one and only person who I could call my friend?
Getting back to my feet, I fought the tears and continued to run through the woods in the darkness, away from the sounds of the hounds.
I stopped and listened. Through the boughs of the trees, I could see a faint torchlight and hear the crashing of horses through the dried leaves and the calls of the men searching for Pru. A fluttering object on a tree branch caught my attention, and I slowed enough to recognize the blue hair ribbon. It was Pru’s.
But I dared not let the men find me before I found her. I needed to know for sure.
The bushes near me wiggled, and I heard the crisp crackling of leaves and Gobbersnot’s cussing. His beady black eyes looked at me hungrily through the long blades of overgrown grass.
“Oh, thank the stars. Gobbersnot, can you distract the dogs and lead them away from here?”
He nodded but grumbled out, “Dugaday?” trying to bargain with me.
I rolled my eyes. “No, you cannot eat the dogs.”
The goblin held his hands parallel about a foot apart and repeated, “Dugaday?”
“No, not even a small one.”
Gobbersnot did not like that answer, and I feared I wasn’t keeping up my end of the bargain. “Please, Gobbersnot! I promise I will get you blood when we’re done.”
He sneezed at me and disappeared back into the bushes. A few agonizing seconds later, I heard the dogs bay again and change direction, heading away from me.
Spinning on my heels, I scanned the ground looking for clues, hints of her whereabouts. If I could find her, then maybe, just maybe, I could right a wrong and still save her. Taking the ribbon, I tossed it into the air and commanded it to “Seek.” The ribbon lifted from my hand and floated in circles above my head as it began its search.
But using a blue ribbon in the dark wasn’t going to help me. I would need light. Creating a mage light, I cast it low to the ground to glow about my feet. The ribbon was already on the move, and I was following close behind.
The forest became darker the deeper I traveled, and the sounds of the search party faded away. Gobbersnot had done well, for we were heading in opposite directions. Normally, I would have been scared, but my fear for Pru spurred me on.
The ribbon danced and turned abruptly, and I knew I was getting close. A snapping noise from beyond stilled my movements as I listened, hunting with my ears for sounds of her cry or moans. Closing my hands, I raised the mage light and spun, searching the darkness, and saw a hint of a blue dress near the edge of a gully.
“Pru! Pru! I’m so sorry.” I rushed to her, grabbed her shoulders, and turned her over. Her eyes fluttered weakly, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She was still alive, though her pulse was weak, and there was a nasty claw mark in her side that was bleeding profusely. Guilt assailed me, and I knew it must have been me. I didn’t mean to hurt her. My hands glowed, and I closed my eyes, pressing them to her wound. I could feel her skin slowly knit back together.
“I never meant to hurt you, Pru. I promise I’ll go away, somewhere far away, where my inner beast can no longer hurt you or anyone else. Do you hear me? Just promise me you’ll wake up.”
Pru’s eyes fluttered open weakly, and she breathed out a sigh. “You came for me. I knew you would save me.”
“No, I’m not good at saving people. I only hurt them. It’s me. All my fault. All of those deaths. All because I truly am evil, a murderous beast.”
“N-No, you’re n-not a beast,” she cooed softly. She reached up to cup my face weakly. I put my hand over hers and she smiled. “I saw you. When the beast took me, and I thought I was dying for sure. You appeared to me, like a ghost or a dream, but you didn’t say anything. You were here and then vanished.”
What she was saying was confirming that she was indeed close to death and had summoned me to her while I slept. I had been here, but I didn’t remember.
“I thought for sure I was dead, but then he said….” Her eyes widened in fear.
“Who said?” I asked. “Who’s he?”
Pru leaned forward, putting her forehead to mine. Wrapping her arm around my neck, she murmured, “Rrrrn.”