And I get how afraid he was of me messing up the crew dynamic. The guys are all he has. When I waltzed into their lives, I shook everything up, bringing it all back to the present. Take that, and all this shit he’s going through with his mom, and Dar preying on his vulnerability at the perfect moment, and I see how it happened.
The brain can’t cope when it’s overloaded, and it’s exactly those moments when we make poor decisions.
At least, I understand it all now.
Movement at the door captures my attention, and I look up into Alisha Lennox’s pale-green eyes. I wonder how long she’s been standing there watching us. From the tears clinging to her lashes, I’d say it’s been a while.
“Stay, sweetheart,” she whispers when I move to lift Galen’s head from my lap. “Look after my boy.” She closes the door, careful not to make a sound.
I don’t want to leave Galen, but he’s sound asleep now, and I hope he won’t wake again, because I can’t waste this opportunity. I may not get another one where Alisha seems clearheaded, and I fucking want answers. Answers her son can’t give.
Very slowly and carefully, I slide out from under Galen, shoving a pillow under his head and another one in front of his torso. He curls around the pillow, and he looks so young even with his long muscular body, ink creeping up his arms, and the ring in his nose. I press a kiss to his temple before I pull on the hoodie and leggings I removed before bed and slip my feet into my Vans.
I try Alisha’s bedroom first, but the master suite is empty, so I pad downstairs to the kitchen.
She’s sitting at the long wooden table, nursing a bottle of water when I arrive. She looks up, not surprised to see me. “I imagine you have questions.”
“I do.” I walk to the coffeepot, filling it with water and switching it on. “I think I’ll need coffee for this conversation.” We don’t talk as I wait for the coffee to fill. We just stare at one another, sizing each other up.
“Want one?” I ask, holding up a mug.
She shakes her head. “I’m good with water.”
“Is it safe to talk?” I inquire while pouring myself a black coffee.
“I disabled the camera in here. It’s safe.”
I take the seat across from her.
“How much do you know?”
“What Galen knows,” I admit.
“Which is?”
“You had an affair with my father. You got pregnant with his baby. Took his money to abort it and kept it a secret from my mom, your former best friend.” I glare at her, wanting her to see how much disdain I hold her in. “Used the money to fuel your party lifestyle, leaving your kids to fend for themselves. Your daughter died in your son’s arms, and he hasn’t stopped beating himself up over not saving her ever since. That about sums it up.”
“How did Galen find out? Did Sinner tell him?” she asks. The glass shakes in her hand, and her body trembles.
“Why would Sinner tell him?” I narrow my eyes, immediately suspicious.
“Because he set the whole thing up, and I feared one day he’d tell my son everything.”
“Which is?” I hiss, setting my mug down and straining forward. “What did that asshole do?”
“What hasn’t he done might be an easier question to answer.”
I drill her with a look, and she cracks a slight smile.
“You have her spirit you know. Giana is a fighter too.”
She clearly doesn’t know my mom as well as she thinks she does. “I didn’t come down here for compliments. I want answers.” I slam my hand down on the table. “I want to know why my father, the man I adored above all men, turned out to be a liar and a cheat. I need to know if any of it was real. And I need to know all the ways that bastard Sinner tried to ruin my family.”
“I will tell you what I know, but my son can’t hear this.”
“Why?”
“Because he doesn’t know the half of it, and if he finds out, I’m afraid of what he might do.” She reaches across the table, and her bony hand lands on top of mine. Her palm is sweaty, her fingers trembling.
“I can’t promise I won’t tell him because we have a rule about not keeping secrets, but I can promise I will keep him safe. I will stop him from doing anything that might endanger his life. We will stop him. Sinner will not harm a hair on Galen’s head.”
“Do you love my son, Harlow?”
“I … I don’t know,” I honestly admit. “I have strong feelings for him, but things are complicated between us, and we’re still working it out.”
“Nothing can happen to him.” Tears fill her eyes. “He is all I have left.”
My eyes probe hers for the truth, and I see it there and the love shining brightly for him. “Then fight harder! If you die, it will break him for good. Don’t you see that?”
“I want to,” she sobs. “I want to so much, but you don’t understand. These thoughts in my head, these voices whispering in my ear, they never stop, they never leave me alone, and I’m haunted by all my failings, and I just need to make it stop.” She reclaims her hand, rubbing it back and forth across her chest. “It’s never been about not loving my son enough, because if that was all it took, I would be clean and sober.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand. And I want to help you, only because that helps your son, but I will never understand how a mother can selfishly choose to block out life rather than helping her own flesh and blood, but maybe, I’m the warped one.”
If she thought she’d gain my sympathy, she can think again. I know what it’s like to have voices and thoughts screaming in your head. I’ve often wondered what would’ve happened if Dad hadn’t been there, supporting and helping me every step of the way. I think Alisha has just given me my first answer.
No amount of support and help works unless the person is willing to support and help themselves.
Alisha has Galen’s love and support, but it wasn’t enough because she didn’t want to help herself.
I know now I would’ve been okay without Dad. The journey would’ve been tougher, but I would’ve come through it in the end because I didn’t want to be a victim.
I’m a survivor, and I will always choose to live.
“Sinner forced your father to have an affair with me,” she says, seemingly deciding I can be trusted. “It was a few months after your kidnapping,” she adds, confirming she knew who had taken me, and my regard for her sinks even lower. “He threatened to kill you if he didn’t do it.”
“And this was all about my mom? Some fucked-up plan to get her back?”
She bobs her head, taking a sip of water. It dribbles down her chin, slipping under her pajama top. “It has always been about Giana. Sinner has loved her with this obsessive need from the moment they met. It was always unhealthy, and I tried to warn her so many times, but she was in love, and she couldn’t see what the rest of us could see. That he was batshit crazy and a loose cannon but so fucking smart, and that scared me.”
“Did you meet Galen’s dad through my mom?”
She smiles sadly. “I did. Nix was nothing like his younger brother. He had a good heart. At least, before Neo stuck his claws in.” Her features harden. “It was Neo who introduced Nix and me to drugs. He rarely partook, and he forbid your mom from touching the stuff. We were idiots to not see the writing on the wall. By the time I realized, it was too late.”