Fuck. My heart hurts for my cousin. He’s tied into knots over this, and I don’t know if Lo even realizes.
“That’s not what I meant.” She kisses him softly. “Marriage is a big deal, and I don’t want any of you to feel obligated. If we do this, it doesn’t mean this has to be real.”
Saint growls, narrowing his eyes. “Why the fuck wouldn’t it be real?”
“Stop misconstruing my words!” She exhales heavily. “I don’t want to be a burden, all right?” She yanks her hands from his, dropping her head, her chest heaving. “This whole situation makes me uncomfortable. I shouldn’t need you guys to save me. I should be able to save myself. This makes me feel…weak and like I’m losing control.”
“You’re the strongest person we know, Lo,” Saint says, his temper dialing down.
“And it’s not weak to rely on the people who care about you,” I say.
“We’re a team,” Caz adds.
“And there will be times when we need you to save us too,” Saint says, softening his tone.
“Lo.” Theo tilts her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “We have discussed this. We want to do this, not just because it keeps you safe but because we love you. It will be as real as any marriage—unless you’re saying you don’t want that or can’t commit to that, and that’s okay, because you are in control. You call the shots.”
Saint opens his mouth to speak, and Caz kicks his foot, warning him to shut up, because we all know how stubborn he is when an idea lodges in his head. He wants this, because he’s terrified of what his dad has planned for our girl, and he won’t sleep easy at night until she’s protected. But it’s more than that. I saw his reaction when I first suggested it. He loves the idea of being married to Lo, and once that image took root in his brain, it grew branches.
He’ll be devastated if he doesn’t get to make her his.
“We can do this, and when everything is over, and you’re safe, if you want a divorce, you can have it,” Theo says, smoothing the worry lines in her brow with his thumbs.
Saint’s nostrils flare, and his hands ball into fists at his sides. He glares at Theo, and I’m guessing he’s seconds from punching him in the mouth for even daring to offer her a get-out-of-jail-free card. Caz kicks his foot again, shaking his head in warning.
Saint looks to me, and I try to reassure him with my eyes. To tell him to have faith in Lo. To believe she will do the right thing.
Silence engulfs the room, and it’s excruciatingly painful as we watch Lo inwardly debate our proposal. She leans her head on Theo’s shoulder, reaching out for Saint’s hand at the same time. I can almost see the cogs turning in her head as I sit back, watching and waiting.
After a few minutes, she clears her throat and lifts her head. “I need some time to think about this.”
“Of course.” Theo is quick to agree. “You don’t need to decide this second.”
“But you do need to decide soon, because Sinner will recall us at any moment,” Saint says.
Lo bobs her head and stands. “I’m going to take a walk.”
We get up, and she kisses us, one by one, before grabbing her coat and boots and exiting the cabin.
“I need beer.” Saint storms across the room, making a beeline for the refrigerator.
We sink back onto the couches, glancing at one another.
“I didn’t think she’d be so shocked or so unsure,” Caz says, placing his feet on the coffee table.
“It’s rare to see Lo so shook up, but you’ve got to understand that marriage is a big deal to her,” Theo says, accepting a beer from Saint as he reenters the space.
“Because of her parents,” I surmise. Saint hands Caz a beer and places a bottle of water in my hand.
“Giana and Trey had this rare kind of love,” Theo explains, as Saint reclaims his seat beside him. “My parent’s marriage is a happy one, but they’re not on that level. I used to watch Lo’s parents when they were together. They were always holding hands or touching in some way, and when they looked at each other, you just knew no one or nothing around them existed. They lived and breathed for each other, and they doted on Lo. She was the center of their world.”
“Yet Trey kept a ton of shit from Giana. He was coerced into taking another woman to his bed, and we’ve no idea what Giana was really up to, because it’s clear she knows more than she let on.” Saint swallows a mouthful of beer. “It doesn’t sound like a fairy tale to me. We can give Lo so much more.”
“I don’t disagree,” Theo says. “But Lo worshiped her parents, and I know she desired a marriage like they had because she told me that one time.”
“You think that’s what’s going on in her head?” Saint asks, looking troubled. “That she wants that and she doesn’t have it with us?”
“How do you know she doesn’t?” I ask, tipping the cold liquid into my mouth. “I don’t think we should second-guess what’s going through her mind. And just because she told you that years ago, doesn’t mean she still feels the same,” I say, eyeballing Theo. “She’s learned a lot about her parents since then, and she’s older now.”
“I didn’t think this would be a big deal,” Saint says. “She’s so laid-back about everything.” He looks miserable as sin, and for his sake, I hope Lo doesn’t take too long to make up her mind.
“We also know she’s smart and she thinks things through,” Caz says, chugging his beer.
“No matter how we spin it, this is a big decision. A life-changing one,” I add.
“And she’s a girl,” Caz supplies, stating the obvious. “We didn’t stop to consider she’s probably thought about this her whole life. A marriage contract isn’t exactly romantic.”
Fuck, none of us thought about that, and Caz is right. “Maybe we should have gone about this differently.”
“We should’ve properly proposed. All of us,” Theo agrees, nodding.
Saint drains his beer and stands, his eyes brimming with determination. “It’s not too late to rectify that.” He looks at Theo. “I need you with me.” He points at me and Caz. “You two stay here and watch over the princess.”
“Where are you going?” I ask.
He flashes me one of his supremely-annoying smug grins. “Ring shopping.”
Theo grins, raising his hand for a knuckle touch. “Now you’re talking.”
“Come up with a wedding plan while we’re gone,” Saint adds, grabbing his wallet and keys from the coffee table. “I know we’ll have to do this hush-hush, and in a rush, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it romantic for our girl.”
“What da fuck do we know about weddings?” Caz grumbles. “I wish I’d paid more attention when Giana was boring the shit out of us about her wedding.”
I’d say that makes four of us.
“Google’s your friend,” Theo says, slapping his tablet into Caz’s hands before the two assholes leave.
I nudge Caz in the elbow as I struggle to my feet. “You heard the man. Get your ass in gear, dude.” I shuffle toward the door.