Mom’s from Prestwick, and they didn’t have much money growing up. At the time my parents met, she was attending business classes at the local community college and she had plans to set up her own business. My dad swept her off her feet, and they were married within the year, and I arrived the following year. Dad helped make Mom’s dreams come true, and I have never ever doubted what they shared was the real deal.
Until now.
Because now, I’m wondering if Dad was only a meal ticket for Mom.
If that dangerous asshole that just left this house is really the love of her life.
If this is all part of his game plan.
Or it’s possible my mind is warped from my fucked-up life experiences and I’m fitting the wrong pieces in the wrong holes.
“Were you fucking him when Dad was alive?” I bluntly ask, while I watch her struggle to form an answer to my previous question.
“What!” Her eyes pan wide. “Of course not! I have always remained faithful to your father.” Tears prick her eyes. “I loved him so much.” Her voice cracks, but I’m immune to it.
For the first time in my life, I don’t trust my mother, and I doubt I ever will again.
“Sure, you did. That’s why he’s barely cold in the grave and you’re hooking up with your old childhood sweetheart behind my back. How long has it been going on, Mom? Did you warm his bed before my father was even put in the ground? Did you forget Trey Westbrook the instant his heart stopped beating? Was Neo”—I spit out his name, lacing it with hatred—“always your end game, huh?”
She lifts her hand to slap me, stopping herself at the last second. “I know you’re hurt, but you don’t get to speak to me like that. I am still your mother, and you are still living under my roof. You will sit the fuck down, and let me explain.”
I shake with rage, and my natural instinct is to storm out of the room, pack a bag, and get the hell out of here. But what if my initial instinct is wrong? What if Mom’s in danger? If she’s being manipulated, then I can’t leave. I need to start gathering more intel, so I need to know everything she knows about Neo.
I draw deep breaths as I drop onto the couch, urging my body to calm down and my mind to get with the program.
Mom’s shoulders visibly relax as she sits beside me. “I never told you about Neo because it would’ve been disrespectful to your father to talk about the man who owned my heart before him.”
She looks at me, but I stare straight ahead with my hands clasped in my lap. I need to hear this, but I don’t need to make it easy on her.
“When I was growing up, I always imagined Neo would be my husband. We loved one another, and I never thought anything could come between us—until I met your father. I tried to resist Trey at first, but I couldn’t because we formed an instant connection, and it was so intense it almost blinded me.”
Knots twist in my gut as the picture of the boy’s face briefly flashes in my mind’s eye.
She settles back in the couch as she reminisces. “I was so confused,” she whispers. “I loved Neo, but I fell so hard for your father, and it wasn’t long before I knew I loved him too. Nothing had happened between us,” she says, quick to reassure me. “But we had been spending time together as friends, and I already felt like I’d betrayed Neo.” She looks up at the ceiling, and I don’t need to see the tears to know they are there.
“Your father was offering me everything I had ever wanted, but I turned him down. My loyalty to Neo was too strong to walk away. Trey made it clear he loved me and wanted to marry me, but he respected my decision, and he left me alone.”
The couch shifts, and she moves closer, tilting my face to hers. “I was utterly miserable. I missed him so much, and nothing with Neo felt right anymore. He felt the difference in me too. A distance that hadn’t been there before. I eventually confessed. Told him I was in love with another man. He was devastated, and he told me to leave. I spent the next few months on my own, trying to work out what to do. I had moved to Lowell, needing to put some physical distance between me and Neo, not realizing your father was renting there too. We bumped into one another in a coffee shop one morning, and we were never apart from that moment on.”
She holds my face in her hands. “I never want you to doubt the love I had for your father. The love we shared was very real, and I will miss him every single day for the rest of my life.” Tears spill down her cheeks. “His death destroyed me, Harlow. You are the only thing that kept me alive in those early days when I wanted to follow him to the grave. But I could never do that to you. He lives on in you.” She clasps my face more tightly. “I see him every time I look at you, and it comforts me. Which is why I hate that I’ve hurt you now when that’s the last thing I wanted.”
She lets my face go, and I let loose a breath I’d been holding.
“It’s too soon, Mom. You’re still grieving, and he’s taken advantage of that.”
“I know it might seem like that, honey, but Neo is bringing me back to life, and he can protect us and take care of us.”
Please tell me my mother is not that fucking naïve!?
“I can protect us!” I protest. “We don’t need a man to take care of us. This isn’t the eighteenth fucking century, Mom!” Panic bubbles up my throat, as I grapple with my emotions.
She tucks her hair behind her ears. “I’m not built to live alone,” she admits, and I shake my head in disbelief.
I’m so disappointed in her. Where the hell has my mother disappeared to? “Do you even hear yourself?”
“You’re leaving for college next year. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and I don’t want to hold you back. I know how much you worry about me. I know you protect and shelter me.” She pins me with shrewd eyes, and maybe she knows more than she’s letting on. “And I’ve got my own life to lead now. I’ve always loved Neo. Even when your father was my everything. Trey knew. I was always honest with him. If your father were alive, Neo would remain my past. But he’s not. Trey’s gone. And Neo is here. Still loving me. Asking for another chance.”
What perfect timing.
“It’s been over twenty years, Mom. How do you know he’s the same man you knew?”
“I know his heart, honey. And while this might seem fast to you, it feels like it’s been a long time coming for me.”
“What exactly are you saying, Mom? What is happening here?”
She gulps, and her tongue darts out, wetting her lips. “Neo has asked me to marry him, and I’ve said yes.”
CHAPTER 6
“FUCK MY LIFE,” I mumble the following evening as I trail Sean and Sariah to the bleachers for the epic beatdown of the century. I’ve spent the day ignoring the envious looks and hostile glares from girls jealous I’ve been claimed as Sainthood property and hiding from said assholes, because in the mood I’m in, I can’t guarantee I won’t knife one of them to death.
I barely slept a wink last night. Troubled after my talk with Mom, I spent most of the night tossing and turning, trying to figure out how to get rid of Neo and then feeling guilty because I know this is partly my fault.