Fuck—no, not now.
He couldn’t—he didn’t dare risk her.
Gently, Nik removed her arms from his neck, regret cleaving him in two. He didn’t want to start something they could never finish. Scraping every fragment of willpower he possessed, he bolted his mind’s shields, shutting out his longing for her.
He should leave, walk out. Instead, he shifted her, spooning her once more. Ignoring his aching dick, he buried his face in her nape again, unable to move.
Just holding her seemed to give him a little bit of his sanity back, and he drank in the sensation like a desert experiencing its first rains.
Shadow pressed her fingers to her swollen mouth, still reeling that Nik had kissed her. After their earlier fight in the elevator, she’d been dead sure he wouldn’t bother coming back to check on her, let alone sleep on the carpet in her room or kiss her with so much hunger.
And she’d finally given in to her attraction to him.
However, he didn’t want more. It wasn’t as if she was asking for a commitment. Any other guy would have already had her flat on her back, except for Nik. He drew her closer, wrapping his arm around her as if this was all the connection he needed.
She swallowed her disappointment, gently pressing a hand to her wounded chest, trying to shut off her own need for him. Just as well, because it would be wading into disaster if she let this attraction…this yearning for him take over.
“Sleep,” he murmured. The faint heat of his chest seeped into her back, finally spreading a soothing warmth and lulling her toward slumber. Her eyelids shut, knowing she’d be safe in the sanctuary of his arms—and her eyes snapped open again.
God. She couldn’t, not when she was a danger to him.
Wide awake again, Shadow stared blankly at the dresser opposite, recalling the demon she’d fed off in the garage. He’d thrashed on the ground while she stood there paralyzed, watching in horror as his body crumpled, eyes gone cloudy in death before he vanished.
With her nodes never truly satisfied from her stolen feeding, they could take over while she was asleep. They might drain even an immortal of his soul’s energy, causing irreparable harm and likely death—
Christ. There would be no returning from that.
A pang of regret swamped her, and she sat up. His arm fell away from her. Even with the room cast in darkness, his intense stare held her like a physical touch. Not knowing what to say, her gaze dipped to his hard, intractable jaw. “The floor’s er, uncomfortable.”
The lie hung heavy between them in the silence, when they both knew she slept on worse in the underground.
Her heart ached. Whatever he’d gone through tonight while keeping this world safe for humans had clearly been traumatic, and she couldn’t even offer him the small comfort of an embrace, too afraid of her darker self.
Nik rolled onto his back and flung an arm over his eyes.
Shadow pushed to her feet and stumbled back to the bed. She climbed in and huddled under the covers, her chest compressing at her reality.
She would never be normal, could never have a relationship with anyone. No man would want an energy leech who would always require other males—demons—for the rest of her life. Least of all Nik.
With his sexy, tough body, striking, brooding looks, and otherworldly charisma, he could have anyone he wanted, like the gorgeous women who lived here. They hadn’t said anything, but she sensed they all weren’t exactly human, either, even her friend.
The door opened then shut with a soft click. Her head shot out from under the duvet. She twisted and glanced at the floor. Empty. A pang pierced her.
Her gaze rushed back to the shut door. On the floor, near the jamb, sat her missing backpack.
Nik entered the massive basement gym in the castle, the place empty at this hour in the morning. He cut through the heavy artillery, his cock a hard ache, his mind rioting, whether from the souls’ relentless screams in his skull or his own despair, he had no fucking clue anymore. All he felt and thought of was Shadow, and remembering her lush mouth on his didn’t ease his obstinately throbbing cock.
The scariest shit yet—he hadn’t known he was in her room until she touched him.
He stopped at the punching bag suspended from the ceiling. Even unaware, everything in him tuned into her like a homing device, tossing his rational mind out the window—rational mind? Hell, Dag was right to worry. He was a fucking ignited canon.
He hammered his fists into the bag.
But more painful was the thought burrowing into him like a virus. Despite their attraction, she didn’t want to be with him. Her running off after he’d kissed her proved this. Teeth gritted, he pounded out his frustration on the sandbag with his bare knuckles, again and again.
He should just let her go. Not like he could be with her anyway.
Yeah, it’s what he’d do. The others here would watch out for her.
He punched harder and harder, the pain in his hand barely making an impact as the sounds of brutal thumping ricocheted in the gym. Something tinkled to the ground and crunched beneath his sneakers.
“Yo, Greek, rein in your shields, man. This place is like walking into a freezer.”
He ignored the Norse, keeping his mind focused on bludgeoning the sandbag.
“Dammit, Nik, what the hell’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” He grunted, plowing the bag with brutal blows. “I’m fine.”
“Sure, you are.” Týr snorted. “By the damn stars, Nik, stop for a fucking second. What’s gotten into your craw? Your powers slip, you’re gonna harm the females if any of them decide to come down here to use the gym. You are by far the cool one, calmest of all us bastards, so what’s doing?” Týr stood like a damn guard near him.
Heavy silence ensued with only the cracking of his fist against leather echoing.
Then a sharp intake of breath sounded. “Of course.”
“Don’t want to hear it.”
“This is about her. Shadow.”
“Leave her out of it.”
“How can I?” he growled. “When you’re destroying the gym.”
“She’s hurt, needs to heal—” He struck another deadly punch, leather split, and the sandbag burst. Powerful hands grabbed him, hauling him back.
Breathing hard, Nik glowered at his fellow warrior, his throbbing fists clenching.
“You aren’t yourself. And this is a sure way to get the Arc to bench your ass. Look around you, man.”
It wasn’t the sand pouring to the floors from the broken punching bag, but the ice covering every inch of the equipment, the floor, the walls—even the fucking ceiling! Uncontrolled, it could be deadly if it seeped into flesh…
Fuck. He rubbed his face with his blood-smeared hands, his seeping knuckles not even registering. He’d never lost control of himself, not since his first time on Earth eons ago.
“Want to talk?” Týr asked quietly
Nik clenched and unclenched his injured fingers, the thrashing inside him hiking.
“Look, we’ve all been trapped in that hellhole, and I understand—” Týr said as something dark and haunted flickered in his toffee-colored irises. “When shit gets tough, and you need to talk it out, I’m the last person who can offer sound advice, but I’m here for you.”