Was that the “more” he first sensed in her five months ago? Was she somehow immune?
“Shadow?” he growled.
Her shoulders slumped, the fight in her disappearing. “I know you’re upset—”
“Upset?” Anger and fear resurged. “You put yourself in a dangerous situation!” Yeah, he was furious. And he never got mad or felt much of anything…until her. “I hurt you. Those fucking ice splinters could have killed you!”
“Maybe.” Her eyes flared with annoyance. “But I’ll do so again if I have to!” She scurried across the mattress and sprinted to the bathroom, locking herself in.
Godsdammit. Nik went after her. She wasn’t hiding from him. At the door, he stopped dead as the truth struck him, causing his stomach to heave.
It hadn’t been a hug back in the cell.
Her hands were on his chest, not around him. Somehow, she’d done something more than just calm the ruckus and pain when she’d touched him.
His heart hammering as if it would break through his ribs, Nik willed the door open.
Shadow spun around from the basin mirror, gripping the ripped sweater together, the scowl back. “Don’t you know how to knock?”
Nik shut the bathroom door and leaned against it, preventing any further escape.
He would find out what the hell had happened in the monk’s cell. How she’d silenced the darkness inside him so completely. Because he didn’t feel even a stirring from those vile entities, which should have started up again right about now.
Shadow pressed her spine against the basin, needing the support, and eyed Nik warily while he watched her like a hawk.
“What are you?”
A soul leech.
Ugh. She bit back the words. He’d probably toss her over the balcony then.
He folded his powerfully inked arms over his wide, tattooed chest, distracting her, drawing her attention to the silver barbells piercing his nipples.
Mesmerizing tonal ink of arid hills, ghostly faces, abstract designs, and runes covered his chest, arms, and pecs. More tatts ran down his obliques in some ancient script. And, of course, the too realistic snake inked on his neck, its body coiling down his shoulder and around his left biceps.
It all fit him. A deadly warrior. And one of the saviors of humanity, too. She should know, she’d seen him in action.
“Shadow, dammit,” he growled, rubbing his chest.
Her gaze rushed to his, and meeting his heated stare, for some reason, it gave her courage.
“I am human,” she huffed out. “You were in pain, and I couldn’t leave you to suffer when I could help.”
“I’m not upset—no, dammit! I was shit scared at what could have happened to you. Don’t you realize how much you matter to me?” he demanded. “You put yourself in front of me. My powers are precarious, and I could have killed you because I don’t have any control of them during these times—” He pinched the bridge of his nose as if trying to get himself together.
One part of her was ecstatic at his declaration, the other freaking out. “But you didn’t hurt me,” she whispered.
His hand dropped. Two steps and he closed the distance between them. He cupped her face in his callused palms. “Whatever you’ve done, thank you. You’ve given me something I’ve never believed possible. Peace.”
At his soft words, her guardedness dissipated, and she grasped his wrists. “I wish I’d known sooner, I could have helped you, but you were being a butthead—”
“Butthead?” His lips pressed together as if suppressing a smile, but it crept into his eyes. Then he lowered his hands to her arms, his gaze morphing to unwavering once more. “What did you do? How did you come to have this ability?”
Sighing, Shadow clenched her ripped sweater together again. “Like I told you, from the otherworldly blood transfusion I got, but it…it also left me with this anomaly.” Gently, she stroked the gauze-covered bumps on her breastbone. They remained silent now after the full feeding she’d finally let happen.
Nik’s brow creased, his focus dropping to her chest. “The nodes?”
“Yes. I have to nurture them with regular feedings. If I don’t, then-then they will devour their host instead.”
“Meaning you could die.” A tic started on his jaw. “Is that why you were at the club with that demon?”
Man, he was quick. She nodded.
“Why not humans? Why feed on the most malignant and treacherous species?” he demanded.
“Because humans don’t satisfy the nodes.”
“Nodes?” he ground out. “Those aren’t freakin’ nodes, but symbionts. They’re living entities and fucking demonic parasites! What the hell was the damn demon thinking, doing this to you?”
“That I was dying, and he would save me any way he could?” Hurt spread that this was all he thought of and not that she’d survived. “Nodes, symbionts, whatever they’re called, I’ve lived with them for five freaking years! I wished many times Nate had let me die instead of living with this curse, but he’s a stubborn ass, just like you!” She tossed him a furious glare.
“Don’t.” He shook his head and pressed his eyes. “The thought of you dead…”
“Do you have any idea how hard it was in the early days after Nate disappeared?” she demanded.
His gaze snapped up. “The bastard left you alone to deal with all this?”
“Oh, he gave me a crash course on the dos and don’ts,” she said, tone rife with sarcasm. “But I couldn’t blame him. I was worse than a rabid vampire in the grips of hunger. I attacked him, drawing on his energy. Then…then, while he was gone, I killed an innocent demon who came to the garage,” she whispered, regret swamping her.
Too edgy to remain still, she paced to the bathroom window as she spoke. “I waited too long to nurture the nodes. I was ravenous and in pain at the backlash, so I touched him…I only meant to take a little, but I couldn’t stop feeding. He collapsed and disintegrated right in front of me.” She pivoted, tears burning her eyes. “These things inside me are killers…”
“It was an accident.” Nik crossed to her. “Just so you know…” He caressed her cheek with his knuckles. “I would have made those fuckers who hurt you pay first before I killed them. But you’re here now. No one will touch you, ever.” A vow.
His mouth brushed her brow. “Thank you for what you did down there in the cell, for so bravely or foolishly risking your life for me…” His lips twisted into a wry smile. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel normal—whatever that is—but you’ve given me a modicum of peace.”
Hearing his words, the turmoil within her settled. Or maybe it was the freedom of getting everything she kept bottled for so long finally off her chest. She leaned into him, pressing her cheek on his bare pecs, absorbing his faint warmth, his strength, and his arms tightened around her.
“How could I stand by and not help you when you were hurting?” she asked. “I felt something was wrong, and that feeling tugged me to you.”
“I don’t know whether to be relieved or terrified,” he said drily, his big palm stroking down her spine, causing her to smile. “Is that why you chose to live underground, because of the symbionts?”