He tried to speak her name, reassure her, but words wouldn’t come. A coppery taste flooded his mouth. He was dying…he could sense the mystical threads of his soul holding onto hers, pulling her with him into death. No-no, she couldn’t die.
His mate. She had to live—
Nik reared back from the images. “Shadow,” he rasped, something inside his soul cracking apart.
“She lives,” the ancient goddess murmured, “because you severed your mating bond.”
“I have to go to her. She needs me. The fucking demon—”
“You cannot, filius. She is not of this world.”
Anger consumed him, but he couldn’t move. Couldn’t take a step.
“You are without form. Your physical self needs to heal and regenerate.”
“How long?”
“I cannot say. The mystical healing of this place works in different ways.” Aware of his agitation, she said quietly, “Watch.”
More images flickered through him…demons and trees flying up from the ground as if caught in a tornado. Swirling—merging—in one horrendous distortion. A small figure stopped at the verge of the open field—a ragged cry tore out of her, and she flung out her arms. A dull explosion ricocheted, and everything rained down in wet clumps…
Nik blinked in shock at the power radiating out of her, but his chest hurt too fucking bad to enjoy it. He wanted to hold her, tell her he lived, just not with her for now.
The images changed. Familiar dank tunnels…more fighting…her old basement. Her tears and pain gutted him…tunnels again…the redhead demon with that damn hellhound at his side. Her immense rage consumed Nik. She plunged her dagger into the demon…the hellhound leaping, his jaw clamping down on her—
“No!” he cried out.
The images cut off, and Nik stared blankly, feeling as if someone had yanked out his lungs, his heart.
“Where is she?” He scrambled to find the images again. “Show me!”
“No. Rest, filius,” Gaia whispered, a soothing touch seeping into his soul. The immense agony dissipated, and the memories faded as a peaceful haze drew him back to oblivion…
Chapter 35
Shadow tucked strands of her hair behind her ear, her gaze fixed on the lit paper lantern the fall breeze carried upward into the darkening sky. Her tribute to her lost love glowed like a star as it rose higher and higher.
In the passing months, she’d come every evening to the beach to light a lantern.
Wherever you are, my love, I hope you see this…and find your way back to me. She swallowed the lump in her throat at the impossibility of what she yearned for. Or at least know you’re always in my heart…I miss you.
The sea undulated gently as if sensing her despair, and she wrapped her arms around her still flat stomach.
Every morning she forced herself to get out of bed, breathe and take one step, then another, and another…because she had a new life to worry about now. But nothing stirred her from her melancholy or pulled her out of this unrelenting emptiness—this silence inside her.
The warriors had held a memorial of sorts for Nik in the training arena months ago, but she’d been too broken to say anything.
Exhaling roughly, she rubbed her sternum, dully aware of the gnawing sensation there that had started days ago. She needed to feed, but Pithius hadn’t visited in over a week. She supposed she could summon him, but listlessness had her pushing it aside once more.
A stone disrupted the calm water, sending out ripples.
She glanced back. Liam rose from the pebbly shore where he’d hunkered down, slingshot in hand, his weapon of choice in protecting her, and it made her smile. Other boys liked daggers or swords; her brother was the slingshot king ever since he’d been a little boy.
He was about to head off to university tonight, and two weeks late.
“I can postpone my studies, take a gap year until the baby comes.”
She forced a smile and joined him. “No. I’ll miss you. But you need to go, live your life.”
He sighed, tunneling his fingers through his newly trimmed brown hair.
“Besides, no one knows how long I’ll be pregnant. With me not being a hundred percent human, a-and Nik…” She swallowed, finding it hard to say his name out loud. “…was a deity.”
Liam’s lean features tightened. “I’m so sorry, Gem.” He put an arm around her. “I only knew Nik for a short while, but I saw how happy you were with him.”
There were no words, so she simply nodded, blinking her dry eyes.
“No matter what, I’ll be here when the baby comes.”
And he would.
He whirled his Y shaped weapon on one finger as they left the beach behind and strolled through the darkening forest, heading toward the castle. “My nephew’s gonna be one big, tough warrior. I’m gonna keep this slingshot for him.”
Her smile slipped, and she lowered her head, not wanting Liam to see her despair.
It was always the little things, a hint of his fading scent, his name—memories—that dragged her back to her unending sense of loss. The nights were the worst, alone in the vast bed.
She shut off the thought. Sleep—something her body now seemed to demand more often—would happen soon enough to torment her with nightmares again.
“Nikkos, beta, you must awaken. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. You have so much to live for, a joy we could never give you.”
At the strange female voice pulling him out of a restful darkness, Nik sighed. Why the fuck wouldn’t these people leave him alone?
“Awaken, filius,” a male demanded. “This is not good.”
“You let our son be given a life that wasn’t his,” the woman demanded. “Where’s the love you’re supposedly the god of?”
Nik slitted his eyes in annoyance, but a pale waxy-like substance concealed his view. His fuzzy sight landed on a tall male silhouette, then shifted to a vision in white next to him. He had no idea who these people were, lamenting and fighting over him. His hazy vision cleared a little, and through the strands of the web he saw them.
The tall, exquisite female with creamy brown skin and a flow of ebony hair, attired in a long, shimmery white skirt and a short, fitted top, peered down at him. He remembered the garment from his childhood. A lehenga. Jewels sparkled in her dark hair and ears, and more gleamed around her throat under her pet snake.
Her hand hovered above him, then lowered, her fingers clenching. She sighed as if in regret.
His mātā.
With his father at her side.
No, not people he wished to see. Nik shut his eyes. His mind a haze of nothingness, yet a hollowness remained within him. As if something was missing, something that made him hurt…
“It was never my intent to ignore you,” his sire said, tone edged with remorse, hauling him back. “We only wanted you in a better place. Not to endure the life we must live.”
Yeah. Years of loneliness in both the Indian and the Greek pantheons, and a lifetime of pain and torture in Tartarus.
He didn’t care for any of their platitudes now. He’d been a child, and they discarded him. Hell, he wished they would leave, preferring oblivion, so he didn’t suffer this immense loss crushing him, one he didn’t understand. Yet he recalled his parents. Great.