“It scared me more than what lay beyond the sea. The thought of never knowing you that way. Never sealing that last bond of commitment. I don’t want to waste another second.”
“Gideon.” My voice trembled.
“I would bond with you now. If you’d let me,” he said softly.
My stomach somersaulted, and my heart thundered in my chest. Sweat slicked my palm, but I didn’t let him go.
“Are you… sure?” I asked. “You want this because of the war, because Lucifer is dangling a sword over our heads. And—”
“There are no others for me, Riley. Not now, not ever. That won’t change regardless of impending doom.”
“Gideon—”
“I love you, and I want to be bonded with you in every way possible,” he said, gaze unwavering. “Would you do me the honor of being my Committed for however much longer we have in this life? Days or centuries, I will treasure every second you give me.”
My eyes stung as I kissed the seam between our glowing fingers. “You have me, Gideon. In every way for however long you want me, I’m yours. You know that.”
Closing the near-nonexistent distance between us, he brushed his mouth over mine in the softest, sweetest kiss. It was barely a kiss at all, a mere teasing touch of lips. But it was tender and perfect.
“I choose you, Riley Shepard. I will never love anyone the way that I love you.” He squeezed my hands, and his flames burned hotter, sending subtle zings of pleasure through my veins. “I vow to protect and care for you. To honor you. To fight with and for you. To treat you with respect as my Committed partner. Until the Maker calls me home, I am yours—heart, body, and soul.”
A tear slid down my nose, dripping off the end and soaking into the pillow beneath our heads. My throat swelled shut, and my tongue was heavy and useless. I wanted to be eloquent and poetic, to offer him beautiful words. But I’d never been good with words or poetry.
So I said, “I love you with every fiber of my being, and that will never change. I will always choose you.”
And, God, how he smiled at me.
Crimson electricity crackled to life in my palms, merging with his flame. Clasping our hands between us, we glowed bright, white and red. His green eyes held mine, the depths of his devotion almost too much to bear.
My entire body ignited with the power of him, and I was overcome. He was strength and authority, unyielding conviction, and steadfast surety. He was my rock, my foundation, my handhold in the storm. And I was his.
The bond snuck over us gradually. It wasn’t a coarse rope, spearing into my soul. It wasn’t a ribbon, rushing around me. It was a slow-burning warmth, starting at my fingertips and crawling up my arms.
Jai loved me like a wildfire. Raging. Hot. All-consuming. Noel loved me like a river. Overwhelming. All-encompassing. Healing.
But Gideon—oh, the way he loved me. He loved me like an earthquake. It was slow and deep, miles below the surface. It rumbled and rolled. It shook me to my very core, the very makeup of my being shifting as his white fire surrounded my center.
For a moment, I felt like I was looking at myself through Gideon’s eyes. And my God, he was in awe of me. He’d been stumbling around in the dark for centuries, lost to guilt, to turmoil, to hopelessness. And then he saw me, standing in the middle of the sharp shadows that carved out pieces of him at every turn. Like a beacon, I broke through the dark and held out my hand.
All he had to do was take it.
He’d fought it, fought me. Because he thought he belonged in the darkness. To pay penance. To make up for all the mistakes he’d made. He didn’t deserve the redemption I offered.
But still, I stretched out my hand, waiting for him to choose me, to choose hope. It might have taken longer than either of us wanted, but he’d made his choice. Finally. He’d taken my hand, and it was relief, relief, relief. And I’d fitted into him like a puzzle piece. It was as easy as breathing.
So, we breathed.
We breathed.
I felt him in every nerve ending, and the energy between us grew. It pulsed and thrummed. I was half-hard beneath Gideon’s shirt, but the pleasure swamping me was deeper than physical sensation. When it peaked, when the threads between us snapped into place and our light burst, it washed over me like a wave.
Yes, there was pleasure, but it was softer than it had been with Jai or Noel. I didn’t come. I could have—it was a close thing—but our bond didn’t demand it. Our love didn’t need it. This was who we were, and it was perfect and more than enough.
As our power separated and the bond settled, the glow dissipated, and we exhaled on a drawn-out sigh. His eyes were bright and wide with wonder. I traced his jaw with my finger. He placed his massive palm on my chest where my heart beat steadily, in perfect rhythm with his.
“There you are,” he said.
And I said, “Here I am.”
Chapter Twenty
As always, Gideon was right. Lucifer did come. We only had two days together as a Committed pair before the world as we knew it ended.
When the first signs of dawn streaked the sky on the morning of the third day, I woke to a harsh tremble. The windows rattled as Utopia shook, a great, heaving undulation as the very seam of the realm tore down the middle.
Gideon held me close until the quakes stopped, my heart jack-rabbiting beneath my breast. “Gideon?” I whimpered.
“It’s time,” he said.
Jai and Noel burst into the room, our bonds a mess of fear, panic, and confusion. The emotions circled through us with no clear beginning or end. We fed off each other until I nearly choked on our terror.
“Enough,” Gideon said sternly, and the bonds calmed. “You know what to do.”
Jai nodded. Noel reached for me. I took his hand. And we moved.
My uniform was stiff but surprisingly light. The tactical vest was heavier, but we’d trained with these, running miles and obstacles courses ladened down with weapons and weights. It was heavy, but I was strong enough to carry it.
Seeing as it also protected my vital organs, it was a weight I was willing to bear.
After securing my boots and arming my weapons harness, I turned to my squad. They were busy in the armory, preparing themselves for battle. Reports had been flooding in since dawn, claiming a tear in the veil separating the realms. Fallen and demons were pouring into Utopia, moving through the forest of Asphodel toward the city.
Heaven’s army would gather in a field outside the city walls at the edge of the forest. A smaller legion would hold the west gate, should Lucifer’s army split and attack from two sides. My squad would stand with the reserves atop a hill at the other end of the battlefield. Regardless of how powerful I was, they wanted to keep me safe as long as possible.
“Tabitha and the Fallen?” Uriel asked Gideon as our team huddled together, ready and waiting for orders.
Gideon’s expression was grim. “Nothing yet. But she’ll show. They’ll be here.”
His confidence was shaky at best.
“Angels have already defected,” Uriel growled the words. “The veil was ripped from both sides.”
“We knew it could happen this way,” Gideon said.
“Traitors,” Deborah hissed, and a rumble of angry agreement swept through us.