“Your warning is a little late,” Mom called to him.
“I’m positive I told you to stay inside until I got here to help.” I waved for Mom to go into the cabin and put on clothes. “Not wander the premises naked. You’re an easy target.”
“I am not. The sauna is sturdy. Besides, I checked the tracks, and it looks like a bear came to visit.” She waved toward the dense trees behind the cabin. “Not an assassin or anyone else nettlesome.”
Gondo jumped out of the Jeep with his tool briefcase. I had no idea where he’d gotten that thing, but it was stained on one side, dented on the corners, and looked like it had been fished out of a mud puddle.
“This is very exciting,” Gondo said. “I did not know there would be nudity.”
“If you find my mom exciting, you’re weird.”
“Really, Val. I’ve aged well, and I keep myself in shape.”
“She is a silver coyote,” Gondo said, fortunately more with reverence than lust, though he definitely checked her out.
“Silver fox is the term,” I said, “and she’s way too old for you.”
“Really, Val.” Mom sniffed and started for the house, her bare feet hardened enough not to mind the gravel. She couldn’t truly be irked that I was trying to keep a goblin from ogling her, could she? Maybe I shouldn’t have said she was too old for Gondo but was instead too regal, or sophisticated, or sane.
Mom paused when Freysha stepped uncertainly out of the Jeep. She glanced at me. “Did you bring another elf to interview me?”
“No. This is my half-sister, Freysha. I brought her to help me trap a thief.”
Freysha did the typical elven greeting of a bow-curtsey. “Good morning, Lady Thorvald.” Then she switched to elvish and said something else.
My mother nodded. “I only remember a little, but yes. You’re Eireth’s daughter?”
“Yes. It is nice to meet you. I have been teaching Val to use her magic.”
“Oh?” Mom looked at me again, eyebrows rising.
I hadn’t spoken much to her about my lessons, knowing she had always loved elven culture and abilities and wished she had the ability to learn magic.
“Is she a good student?” Mom asked.
“She tries hard.”
Mom snorted.
“Thanks, Freysha,” I said dryly, though I doubted Freysha had meant that as an insult.
“Sometimes, my gentle forest magic is not to her tastes,” Freysha explained, seeming confused by my sarcasm. “She wishes to hurl fireballs and scorch enemies to ash.”
“Shocking,” Mom said.
“Only the really bad enemies,” I said. “For nuisances, I’d only torch their clothing or their eyebrows. Just enough to teach them not to mess with me.”
“You wouldn’t torch tools, right?” Gondo asked. “Tools should be respected by all.”
“Wrenches don’t usually piss me off. Though pliers can be pesky.”
“Why is it that you think I’m the strange one in the family?” Mom asked me.
“You’re standing naked and sweaty in the driveway, and you have to ask me that?”
“I was using my new Finnish sauna. It’s the key to health and longevity. Perhaps you should try it.”
“Is nudity required?”
“Yes.”
Gondo raised his wrench. “I’ll try it.”
“No,” I said, relieved when I sensed Zav approaching, not only because his presence should put an end to the awkward conversation but because he could give me an update on Sindari. A good update, I hoped.
“Come inside, everyone.” Mom extended an arm to the door. “I have coffee and tea.”
“Coffee?” Gondo’s ears rotated and perked like a German Shepherd’s. “What kind?”
Mom seemed puzzled by the question but had a better answer than I would have. “It’s the After Dark blend from River Trail Roasters.”
“After Dark sounds perfect for goblins,” I said.
“I haven’t tried them before.” The ears perked further with keen interest. “I love trying new roasters. Organic? Fair trade?”
“I believe so. You can look at the bag.”
I imagined Gondo stuffing his nose in it and inhaling deeply.
“Will Lord Zavryd be joining us?” Freysha looked toward the western sky, the direction he was flying in from.
“Probably. After he lectures me for leaving the house. Mom, will you go put some clothes on, please? Before making the coffee?”
“I suppose, but it’s not like making bacon. Burns are uncommon.”
“You burning yourself isn’t my primary concern,” I said as Zav soared in over the trees, his wings spread, his black scales gleaming under the morning sun.
“Oh, my.” Mom gaped up at him.
I tried to shoo her inside again—toward the direction of her closet—but she seemed enthralled by his magnificence. Zav was magnificent—I assumed he wasn’t bothering to hide himself from mundane humans this morning—and I supposed it didn’t matter if he met my mother naked. He had few qualms about nudity, as evinced from his perpetual lack of underwear under the robe.
Zav shifted into human form as he landed next to my Jeep, violet eyes focusing on me. “My mate, you did not wait for me in the safety of your abode.”
“Sorry. My mom was visited by a bear. I thought it might be a thief. You’ve met my mother, right?” I extended a hand toward Mom, who wasn’t doing as good a job as she should have been using her towel to cover herself. With a flash of insight, I knew what it was like for Amber to go out in public places with me. To her, I was the embarrassing one. Well, at least I clothed myself.
“Yes,” Zav stated. “First in Greemaw’s valley. She had fantasies about shooting me.”
“We all did,” I said. “You were kind of a dick then.”
“I was pursuing a mission and believed you were a criminal and an obstacle.” Zav smoothed a hand down his silver-trimmed black elven robe, looking much the same as he had back then, save for his footwear. Once again, he was in the hole-filled yellow Crocs.
I had a terrible suspicion that he found them more comfortable than the elven slippers or any of the other footwear he’d tried on. Horrific.
“Now, you know how delightful I am. And my mom…” I wasn’t sure what to say about her. Her nudity had me flustered. “Just got a new sauna.”
“What is a sauna?” Zav asked.
“That thing.” I waved toward it. “It’s hot inside, and you sweat. It’s not sexy, and there aren’t bubbles, not like the hot tub. I doubt you’d like it.”
“It is hot?” Why did he sound intrigued? “This part of your planet is damp and chilly. Often.”
“Uh huh. You can check it out later. Any news about Sindari?”
Zav gripped his chin thoughtfully and gazed at the sauna.
“I will go and look around to see if elves beyond those your mother knows about have been here,” Freysha said. “With my magic, I may also be able to detect if a half-dwarf was here.”
“Thank you, Freysha.” I poked Zav in the ribs. “Sindari?”