Conor’s battered knuckles stroke my right cheek. “Before you came into my life, I thought what I was missing could be found halfway around the world. I’m glad I stuck it out and waited for you to save me.”
“Wait, is something wrong? Why did you use the words ‘save me’?”
“I’m just saying I’ll be okay as long as I have you.”
Before I can sex him up for details, Topanga arrives with Dunning. Conor takes my hand and tugs me toward the grill area.
“Where’s Lowell?” Bronco asks when he realizes his VP hasn’t come with the other two.
“Dad’s changing his shirt, so he’ll look pretty for you,” Dunning taunts before snickering at his own joke.
“Smartass,” Bronco and Barbie say in unison.
Conor pretends he’s really into what Topanga brought to eat, but I know he’s dodging my questions. For the next thirty minutes, I follow him around. Finally, he gets really weird and walks to the front of the house. Conor keeps going until reaching his motorcycle parked in his driveway. Through it all, he remains silent while I follow.
“I can back off rather than have you ditch me,” I say, feeling like a stalker.
“No ditching. Climb on back.”
“I’m not wearing shoes.”
Conor gives me a quick kiss before explaining, “We’re only going to the lot where our future house will be.”
I climb on behind him before he rolls down the quiet streets inside the gated community. My heart thumps hard in my chest. I’m anxious about his behavior. Am I a nag? Should I back off? When I normally give Conor space, he pulls me closer. But maybe he’s hit his limit for together time.
“Tell me what you want,” I say once he parks in front of an empty lot backing up to the woods.
“I want you.”
“You have me, but something is still bothering you.”
Conor flashes me a tired look that I don’t understand. “This is where we’ll live one day. How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t care about the house. I just want to be with you.”
Conor studies my face. “I believe that.”
“Then, why do you sound as if you don’t?”
“How many people have you ever really loved?”
“You, my mom, and Zella,” I say and then add, “But I could see myself really loving Lowell, Topanga, and Dunning. Amity, too. With enough time, I could love a lot of people here.”
“But you never loved your aunt and uncle or guy cousins.”
“I cared about them, sure. Yet, I never trusted them enough to really love them.”
Sighing, Conor clearly wants something that my answer didn’t offer.
“Am I enough?” he asks finally.
“Enough of what?”
“I don’t know.”
Conor sighs again and looks at the dirt lot. “Doesn’t look like much, but it’s private back here.”
“When do you want the house built?” I ask, unable to imagine living anywhere except the Overlook.
“I don’t know. I was never in any hurry. Now, I feel as if I should be.”
“Why?”
“I need to build a home where you and I can be together in the permanent sense.”
“But you have all that space at your mom’s house, and I have my own room at the Overlook. Why do we need a big house when it’s just us?”
“A house can take up to a year to build depending on weather and the size. Do you still want to live at the Overlook a year from now?”
“I don’t know,” I say, sounding as unsure as him.
“We need to think of that stuff now. Wyatt wasn’t in a hurry to move out of his parents’ house. Then, DeAnna kept changing her mind about the house’s design. It took them forever,” he says, pausing before adding, “I can’t remember my point.”
“I suspect you’re using the house as a distraction from what’s really bothering you.”
“I don’t like not living with you.”
“It’s only been two weeks, and we’ve spent every night together.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Why can’t you move into the Overlook?” I ask, thinking he should just do whatever he wants since he’s the future president.
“You know why.”
“Club expectations.”
Seeming exhausted, Conor nods. “I want you to have everything. I didn’t expect to feel so overwhelmed by falling in love. It happened so quick and easy. But, now, I realize the downsides.”
Frowning, I wish he would explain what’s wrong. Rather than open up, he looks down at my bare feet.
“I ought to get you back,” he mutters and scans the quiet day.
“I can imagine one day, sitting in my backyard, looking at those swaying trees, and waiting for the sound of your motorcycle. I can almost picture a house and a little boy with your eyes. But I don’t need any of that to be happy. If you want me to move into your mom’s house, I’ll do it without complaint. She’s a pain in the ass, but she’s far better than many people I’ve lived with over the years. And she loves you with her whole heart. So, Conor, if you’re really stressed about houses and our future, please just chill the fuck out.”
Conor gives me a half-smile. “I tend to overanalyze things. It’s something I’m working on.”
Sharing his smile, I step closer to the motorcycle. Then, he startles me by flinching at a ringing sound. I frown when he pulls a burner phone from his pocket rather than his usual cell. For a second, I freak out at the thought of him having a sidepiece. Except Conor and I have been together for less than a month. If he has another woman, I’m more likely the sidepiece than her.
Conor’s expression shifts immediately when he hears the person's voice on the other side of the call.
“She’s right here.” I’m startled when he hands the phone to me. Conor holds my gaze and whispers, “Because you calm my heart, I’ll do anything for yours.”
Maybe I’m a moron, but I have no clue who is on the phone when I ask, “Hello?”
“Monroe?” Needy whispers, sounding scared yet hopeful.
“Mom?”
“I wasn’t sure this was real,” she whispers. “A strange woman gave me a phone with one number programmed in. She was speaking weird religious gibberish. But I realized she slipped your name into the nonsense. I can’t believe this is happening. Where are you?”
As much as I love my mom, I haven’t shared an honest conversation with her since she married that man. When Needy said she was happy in Kansas, I assumed she was lying. But what if that was the truth?
“I’m safe. I couldn’t marry the guy Clive picked. Not after how they sent you away.”
“What guy?”
“Doesn’t Aunt Immee tell you anything?”
“Of course not.”
“Where are you?”
“In the guest bathroom at the house. I didn’t want anyone hearing me.”
“Are you safe? Can you get away?” I ask before forcing myself to ask, “Do you even want to?”
Needy sighs. “It’s not so bad here, and I wanted Clive to give you a chance to move somewhere warmer.”