“You little slut,” Ferla was whispering between her teeth, spitting from the force of her words. “You can kiss as many academy students as you want, you can have sex with them, you can even get pregnant and have their babies, I don’t care, but the next time you put your dirty mouth on an employee, I will wash your mouth clean myself, do you understand?”
“Yes, Mother,” Lovisa gasped.
“Go to your father,” Ferla said, shoving her through the doorway and into the corridor. “He wants to speak to you.”
“Yes, Mother.”
Ferla spun back, returning to the dining room. Lovisa heard her clipped voice say, “Eat your breakfast, Erita, and stop sniveling.”
For a moment, Lovisa stood, shivering in the corridor. She touched her hair, checking to see that it was still in place. She wanted to take it down and massage her scalp. She wanted to be in her bed in her dormitory bedroom, where things like this didn’t happen.
Then, feeling calmer, she crossed to her father’s library. It was over now; Lovisa wasn’t afraid of her father.
“Papa?” she said, pushing the door open.
“Lovisa,” he said, looking up from his desk. “Come in.”
He folded his hands over his papers, watching her with a grave expression. Attentive, fatherly, concerned. Lovisa was ashamed suddenly of the part she was about to play, lying to her father, but at least the shame was helpful. She allowed it to show on her face.
“Lovisa,” said her father. “Your mother and I are considerably disappointed in you.”
“Papa, I only kissed him,” said Lovisa.
“There is no ‘only,’” said Benni, “when a young man we’ve entrusted with this family’s safety has his hands on our child.”
“Are you sure you’re angry with me? It sounds like you’re angry with him.”
“He’s an employee,” said Benni. “We’ve dealt with him. He’ll never see the inside of this house again, or the house of any reputable family. His sister is one of our guards too, did you know that? We’ve had to give her a warning.” He paused, studying her reaction. “What do you think of that?”
“It’s unfair, Papa, to both of them. It wasn’t his fault, and it certainly wasn’t hers. And we can’t help how we feel.”
“So. You imagine yourself to have fallen in love,” he said, sounding satisfied.
“Papa,” said Lovisa reproachfully. “How would you like it if I told you that you imagine yourself to have fallen in love with Mother? You can’t tell me whom I should love.”
“Indeed,” he said, making a triangle with his hands and resting his chin upon it. “You’ll think I’m heartless, Lovisa, but a daughter of the Cavenda family cannot fall in love with a house guard. Do you imagine your mother and I would set you up to live together?”
“Why should you? Do you think I won’t be able to find a profitable industry?”
“In fact, I think a lot of doors in Ledra would close to you if you lived like that with your own house guard. You excel in your politics and government classes, Lovisa. You know we expect you to follow in our footsteps, whether it’s as a Scholar or an Industrialist. Either way, it’ll require wiser decisions on your part.”
“Doors will always open to me, Papa!” Lovisa said. “I’m a Cavenda. If I married a house guard, I would still be a Cavenda.” In Winterkeep, when two people married, the surname of the wealthier person became their family name. The name Cavenda came from Lovisa’s mother.
“Parents can take a name away from a child,” her father reminded her quietly.
Lovisa looked into her own hands, trying not to show how astonished she was. Parents took names away from a child only if they were officially disowning that child. It was hardly ever done, except, perhaps, in cases of the social shame that came from raising a criminal. And not a minor criminal; one who murdered or raped, did truly inexcusable things.
Before Lovisa could think of the right response, the door swung open and Ferla swept in. Ignoring Lovisa, she advanced on Benni’s desk, glaring at him. Her hood lay against her back heavily, which meant that her fox was still riding inside it.
Benni stood to meet his wife, and when she held out her hand, silently took the object she offered, a bit flustered. Ferla was visibly seething at Benni, which was unusual. Even at the heights of her temper, she was rarely angry directly at Benni. Had he done something to upset her?
Then Ferla spun around and marched toward the door without speaking. A moment later, they heard the front door slam. That was unusual too. Her parents always kissed goodbye in the morning.
In his hands, Benni held the leather wallet Lovisa knew to be stuffed with samklavi candies. He slipped it into a pocket, then smiled at Lovisa.
A smile, when he’d just threatened to take her name away?
It was exhausting, sometimes, to hold up the pretense of being unintelligent about certain things. “I don’t believe you’d ever take my name away, just because I loved someone,” she said. “I’m not a criminal.”
Benni peered at her so keenly that Lovisa feared she’d accidentally said something intelligent. She gave him her blankest expression.
“Did you know that I lived at home during my tenure at the academy, Lovisa?” he said. “I did so at my parents’ request, so that they could teach me the shipping business.”
It was difficult for Lovisa to keep her expression smooth in response to any suggestion she live at home. Benni came from a family of shipbuilders, shipowners, and importers. He owned dozens of ships and he was never satisfied, always wanting to move into newer, bigger, more profitable kinds of shipping. Ferla’s mine—the one she shared with Katu—was a steady supplier of silver. It had been rich in zilfium too, in Ferla’s father’s time, though the zilfium had recently reached the point of depletion. The diminished value of the mine was one of the many reasons Ferla worked so tirelessly and pushed those around her so hard, trying to live up to the standards of her father.
Lovisa had no interest in either of her parents’ family industries. Not that she had any interest in her own course of study either; she’d chosen the school of politics and government out of a bored sense of obligation. Maybe also because it was easy. “I think it’s better for my schoolwork if I live on campus, Papa,” she said. “I’d better get going, or I’ll miss my first class.”
* * *
—
On the walk back to the dormitory, Lovisa felt like a different person from the girl who’d left campus the night before.
She’d had sex twice with a guard whose career was now ruined; she’d stolen from her parents while they slept; and she’d prepared a secret path into the house with a plan to sneak into her mother’s prison soon.