Ferla stepped in behind her.
* * *
—
Lovisa’s mind spun frantically.
“Who is that girl, Mother?” she said, in the blankest voice she could muster. “Why is she here?”
Ferla only stared at Pari with an expression more agitated, more crazed than Lovisa could ever remember seeing; and desperate too. And something else. Ferla looked sorry.
“Lovisa, give me that lamp and go wait in your father’s library,” she said.
“Mother?” said Lovisa. “I just came here with Pari Parnin, for some privacy. You said I could sleep with whatever academy student I wanted.”
Ferla’s fox was zipping around the room without pause, like he’d gone haywire. “Give me that lamp, then go to your father’s library, right now, Lovisa,” Ferla said, her voice so strange, almost a cry. Lovisa relinquished the lamp, then spun to the doorway, not understanding the emotion in her mother’s voice. Pari turned to follow her.
“Pari,” Ferla said in that same voice, “you stay here.”
“Mother?” said Lovisa, in sudden anxiety. Then that guard shoved her through the door and slammed it shut behind her. Lovisa was left alone, in darkness.
Think, she told herself, numb, stupid, not understanding what was going on. Moving away from the door into the darker depths of the room, she sat against a far wall, where she wouldn’t be seen. Wrapping her arms around her legs, shivering hard, she tried to comprehend this, but her brain was shutting down, turning her thoughts to cement.
The door opened suddenly. That guard came rushing out, shut the door, moved quickly to the stairs, and started down, in the dark.
After a moment, Lovisa crept after the guard, keeping her distance. She followed the guard along the lower corridor carefully, staying in the shadows, pausing at each corner to give the woman time to create some distance between them. When the guard began to approach one of the main staircases, Lovisa had to stop, because lamps lit this part of the house and she knew she would be seen; but before giving up, she did manage to overhear a conversation between the guard and someone else, presumably another guard. The first guard ordered the second guard to run to the Keep and summon Benni, for Ferla desired his presence, immediately. “It’s an emergency,” the guard said.
Quickly, Lovisa turned and ran back to the attic. Creeping up the stairs again, feeling her way to the far wall, she tucked herself into her corner, under one of the huge, sloping windows. Snowflakes tapped against the glass.
The guard returned, this time with a blanket slung over one shoulder and a steaming drink in one hand. She knocked on the door and was allowed inside. Briefly, Lovisa heard Ferla’s harsh voice, and the queen responding. Pari saying something next, in a whiny, confused voice. Then the guard shut the door.
For a long time, nothing. Silence, interrupted only by the scrape of snowflakes on glass and the occasional push of wind. Cold radiated from the windows. Lovisa was glad for her fur coat. Gladder still that her father was coming, for certainly sense would return when he arrived, wouldn’t it? None of this could be real, none of it could be so terrible, once Benni had arrived. Pari would come out. Her father would explain, and the explanation would make sense.
Finally, footsteps, hard and fast, and Benni came running up the stairs. Lovisa had never seen her father run, ever. He crossed the room and pounded on the door. When it opened, Lovisa heard Pari’s voice, high-pitched. Then Benni went in and the door slammed. She heard his voice, urgently raised, but couldn’t make out his words. Then she thought she heard her mother screaming back, in fury. She thought she heard the word “No!”
Lovisa’s mind was still stupid and slow. She focused on the story she would tell her parents: She was in love with Pari Parnin. What was wrong with that? He was rich, from a good, Ledra family. She’d brought him up here because it was the most private place she could think of. She had no idea who the girl in the room was. A guest, maybe? Sleeping up here because she was ill, perhaps? In quarantine?
Lovisa grasped her hair, knowing, even in her numb state, that her parents wouldn’t believe any part of that story.
The door opened again. Ferla stepped out with her fox, holding the lamp, followed by Benni and the guard. Benni and the guard carried something long and heavy and sagging, wrapped in a blanket.
It was a body. Of course Lovisa understood it was a body. She even understood, from its height and girth, that it was Pari’s body. She saw it; it was unmistakable; and yet it was impossible. Her mind rejected utterly what her eyes saw.
Ferla locked the door, her every movement stiff, deliberate, angry. The figures carried their burden not to the stairs that led down to the house, but to the stairs that led up to the roof and the airship. They ascended the steps together, an awkward parade, while Lovisa crouched in the corner, incredulous, beginning to shake. The fox brought up the rear. Once, he swung his head to Lovisa, eyes gleaming, staring at the corner where she was losing her mind.
Benni was struggling with his grip. His hand slipped and a golden-green scarf Lovisa recognized emerged from the blanket. Ferla made an impatient noise.
“Maybe you’d like to carry it,” Benni snapped at Ferla.
“Maybe I’d like to carry it?” Ferla repeated, her voice falling into the room like icicles crashing onto the ground. “Maybe I’d like to carry it? Have I wanted any of this? You did this. You created this situation, and every nightmare before it, with your precious ambitions. Or should I call them delusions? Can you not see that if you’d just rescued her, like a normal human being, then you’d be the hero who worked with the silbercows to rescue the Queen of Monsea? No one would’ve blinked twice at anything you did after that! My own brother, Benni. My own brother!”
“But now we have her!” said Benni. “It changes the game, don’t you see? We have so many options! Monsea will pay for her. Estill will too!”
“We don’t need ransom money!” Ferla almost screamed. “We never needed to hurt anyone! We were going to do everything legally! I was going to give you your zilfium vote! You never would have had to break a single law! We had a plan!”
Their voices became muffled as they rose. Then the heavy trapdoor on the roof closed behind them, and Lovisa could hear no more.
* * *
—
Shivering in the attic, Lovisa kept trying to push her mind to a place of understanding, but it was like her thoughts were made of smoke.
Her hands were wet and she realized she was crying. Then she was sobbing, gasping for breath, shoving her fur sleeve into her mouth to muffle the sound. Sobbing like Viri, like she was five years old. Like she’d gone running to Benni and Benni had knocked her down, slammed his library door in her face.