“I realized no one would want to be wanted for their ability to repair damage to someone’s brain, or to chase away nightmares.”
Before she could protest, which he knew she would, he took her mouth. Slow. Gentle. Loving. Flames burned hot the way they did every time they kissed. Kissing ignited some deep well of fire in both of them so that a storm came together, no matter how gentle he wanted to be. He caught her legs, lifted them at the knees and urged her to wrap them around his hips as he lodged the head of his cock in her slick entrance.
She was so hot. Burning. Tight. He always wondered if he was going to make it into her, especially when he was like this, invading slowly. He loved looking into her eyes. Watching her as he joined them together. Her eyes always darkened more. Went wide. Dazed. A little shocked.
“Player.” She breathed his name this time. Almost reverently.
He heard the love in her voice. Felt it in his mind. She swamped him with the emotion. He pushed deeper into that scorching-hot tunnel, one slow inch at a time.
“Never think that way, honey. I know you love me. I want you to wake me up.”
Her breath came in the delicious little ragged musical pants he particularly loved to hear. He pushed deeper through those tight silken petals. Staring into her eyes when he took her this way always made him feel like he was looking into her soul and she was looking into his. It was incredibly intimate. Incredibly beautiful. He reached for her hands and threaded their fingers together as he rose over her, driving deeper, needing to be fully surrounded by her.
“I have complete confidence that you love me, Player.” Her fingers tightened around his. Her legs tightened around his hips.
“I’ll never get over the nightmares.” He surged forward, burying himself those last few inches. “Bog, baby, you’re so tight. I’m never certain I’m going to survive, it’s so good.”
He moved in her slow, withdrawing, feeling the friction dragging over his shaft, over his ultrasensitive crown. The breath left his lungs in a rush. His woman. His miracle. He pushed back just as slow, one inch at a time. She rose to meet him, her hips matching that slow rhythm, in complete harmony with him. Savoring each other. Worshipping.
“I know they’re a part of you. I love all of you. I don’t want to be shut out of any part of you, Player. I want all of you, including your nightmares. Including your past. You don’t give that to anyone else. Only me.”
Her hot tunnel surrounded him like a scorching-hot fist of living silk, squeezing and gripping until he thought his head might explode from the sheer pleasure. He couldn’t keep that deliberate, measured pace that smoldered, a slow burn that built and built until the flames raced up his spine, threatening to consume him. He began to surge into her with harder, faster strokes. Forks of lightning streaked through his body, spreading through the fire until he could barely breathe.
Player, tell me you’re with me on this. It’s important to me. I have to know you’re with me, that you understand how important it is to me to be this connected to you always.
He could read her so easily when their bodies were one. When their minds were. Their hearts were so connected, and he swore their souls somehow had been woven together. Yeah. He read her. She wanted that closeness, even if it meant seeing his past and the ugliness of the life he’d had as a child. Sharing the worst of him. Knowing the ugly things he did to escape. Knowing the things he did to bring down those who preyed on children. She was willing to live with his sins. How could he not love her? Worship her? Feel so fucking much for her he burned with it?
I’m with you all the way, Zyah. If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.
You give me your word of honor while we both can still think straight.
You’ve got it, baby. He smiled down at her, looking into her eyes as he gave her his word. And then he was lost in her body. Burning in the flames and loving every minute of it. Loving her with everything in him.
TERMS ASSOCIATED WITH BIKER CLUBS
1-percenters: This is a term often used in association with outlaw bikers, as in “99 percent of clubs are law-abiding, but the other 1 percent are not.” Sometimes the symbol is worn inside a diamond-shaped patch.
3-piece patch or 3-piece: This term is used for the configuration of a club’s patch: the top piece, or rocker, with club name; a center patch that is the club’s logo; and a bottom patch or rocker with the club’s location, such as Sea Haven.
Biker: someone who rides a motorcycle
Biker friendly: a business that welcomes bikers
Boneyard: refers to a salvage yard
Cage: often refers to a car, van or truck (basically any vehicle not a motorcycle)
Chapter: the local unit of a larger club
Chase vehicle: a vehicle following riders on a run just in case of a breakdown
Chopper: customized bike
Church: club meeting
Citizen: someone not a biker
Club: could be any group of riders banding together (most friendly)
Colors: patches, logo, something worth fighting for because it represents who you are
Cut: vest or denim jackets with sleeves cut off with club colors on them; almost always worn, even over leather jackets
Dome: helmet
Getting patched: Moving up from prospect to full club member (you would receive the logo patch to wear with rockers). This must be earned, and is the only way to get respect from brothers.
Hang-around: anyone hanging around the club who might want to join
Hog: nickname for motorcycle, mostly associated with Harley-Davidson
Independent: a biker with no club affiliation
Ink: tattoo
Ink slinger: a tattoo artist
Nomad: club member who travels between chapters; goes where he’s needed in his club
Old lady: Wife or woman who has been with a man for a long time. It is not considered disrespectful, nor does it have anything to do with how old one is.
Patch holder: member of a motorcycle club
Patches: sewn on vests or jackets, these can be many things with meanings or just for fun, even gotten from runs made
Poser: pretend biker
Property of: a patch displayed on a jacket, vest or sometimes a tattoo, meaning the woman (usually old lady or longtime girlfriend) is with the man and his club
Prospect: someone working toward becoming a fully patched club member
RESOURCES
Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA)
bacausa.com
Advocates for Youth
1325 G Street NW, Suite 980
Washington, D.C. 20005
1-202- 419- 3420
advocatesforyouth.org
U.S. Department of Justice
Project Safe Childhood
810 Seventh Street NW
Washington, D.C. 20531
justice.gov/psc/index.html
MaleSurvivor
350 Central Park West, Ste 1H
New York, NY 10025
1-800- 738- 4181
malesurvivor.org
KEEP READING FOR AN EXCERPT FROM
LIGHTNING GAME
THE NEXT NOVEL IN THE GHOSTWALKER SERIES
BY CHRISTINE FEEHAN
AVAILABLE MARCH 2021 FROM PIATKUS
Rubin Campo stood in front of the small cabin made of mostly broken lumber his brothers and father had dragged or cut from the trees in the forest and pieced together. No one had lived there in years, but he and Diego came back every year and fixed the place up. He had no idea why. Some compulsion buried deep in them that pulled them back, he supposed.