As soon as I stood, Andel stepped forward, his hand on my shoulder pulling me against him. It was an oddly familiar sensation and my arms automatically went around his waist as we reappeared in my bedroom in the tower. I quickly dropped my arms, a little confused as I stepped away from him. By the door, there was a parcel and a backpack. It was compact—small even. The parcel contained a change of clothes, which I immediately took to the washroom. Andel followed me around silently, but I didn’t pay him any attention. I was wearing one of their tunics—I wasn’t sure whose. It was stained in sweat and was permeated with a scent I could only describe as fear. I filled the bath as Andel sat on the bench by the door, his head tipped back against the wall, his eyes taking on that strange, sightless quality. The attendants had left a basket of bath supplies and I hunted through it now, craving the familiar smell of the kalovka flowers and mineral salts they usually added to the water.
When the bath was ready, I chanced a quick glance at Andel to make sure he was still lost inside his mind. His head was dipped to the side, his eyes brightening until the violent colour was almost a light blue. He stared into the mirror on the wall to my right, the firelight projected within, playing shadows over his blank expression.
I whipped off the tunic, throwing it as far away from me as I could, and then sank into the bath. I washed my hair and scrubbed my skin, and then got out and dressed, casting furtive glances at Andel the entire time. He hadn’t moved so much as an inch. He wasn’t even blinking.
I extracted a pair of long socks from the package, rubbing the material between my fingers. It was a woven material, thin enough for my skin to peek through the threads as I pulled them on, fitting them to the tops of my thighs. There were little straps on the sides, and as I hunted through the package for underwear, I realised why. The bodysuit—which was lined in the same woven material—had two small straps dangling from the bottom. I tied the tops of the socks to the bodysuit, and then stepped into shorts made of ribbed leather. They rose to my waist, and barely covered more than the bodysuit itself, though I realised it left me a little more flexible than leather pants would have, while providing more cover where I needed it most. I wasn’t sure what I would find in the Vilwood, but I would rather have the speed and flexibility offered by lighter, more revealing fabrics. As hard as I had trained, I still wasn’t confident, and having the hardened leather wrapping my stomach and lower spine felt like a good compromise. I frowned, my fingers playing with the remaining fabrics in the package. Someone had thought through my outfit carefully. Until Vidrol asked whose idea it had been to light up my dress, I had thought that he was the one picking out all my clothing. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
I extracted a short vest of ribbed leather, pulling it tight over the top of my bodysuit. It met perfectly with the top of my shorts, and dipped low in the front, providing the perfect patch of skin for the oyntille—which I wouldn’t be wearing anymore. It left my arms and shoulders bare but for the thin leather straps. The final pile of material was piled on top of the boots Vidrol had stolen from me several nights ago. It was a connected, silken network of sashes, deep gold in colour. I picked it up, realising I had no idea how to wear it. Unsure what else to do with it, I tied it around my waist and then pulled on my boots, lacing them up over my knees. My hair was still damp from the bath, so I brushed it out and braided it over each of my shoulders.
I stopped in front of Andel. “Ready,” I muttered, when he didn’t flinch back at me invading his periphery.
I gnawed on my lip, reaching out to quickly tap him on the shoulder. He jolted back, his hand snatching my wrist and yanking it away from him. He paused, breathing heavily, his eyes clearing to their usual, darker violet. He relaxed slightly, his grip changing to an almost gentle hold.
“You can touch me now,” I noted.
My surprise was immediately followed by a stab of sadness. The surreal nexus between Calder drawing away and the masters drawing closer became even more apparent in that moment. Calder’s touch was beginning to hurt us both, whereas Andel was now touching me easily where he previously couldn’t stand to.
“He’s not yours.” Andel stood, still holding my wrist.
I felt my mind buzz with discomfort. “How did you know I was thinking about him?”
He drew me out of the room, retrieving the backpack and yanking me into a moment of darkness, the light of the single burning torch disappearing.
“I know your mind” was his plain response as I stumbled back into the light of a fire, the feel of leaves crunching beneath my boots, the sound of a waterfall roaring nearby.
The fire burned within a circle of stone only a few feet away, the masters gathered around it. To my surprise, the Vold woman from the small council was also there, standing as far away from the great masters as the circle of light would allow. A few dozen Vold also gathered at the edges of the firelight—some of whom I recognised. Sig jogged over to me, skirting around Andel, who dropped the backpack at my feet and stepped away to mutter something to Vale. I watched them carefully as Sig began speaking to me. I quickly touched his arm to quieten him, trying to read the words on Andel’s lips. Vale’s pale eyes flicked my way, dropping to the sash at my waist. He turned, snapped something to Vidrol, and then they were all staring at me.
I quickly switched my focus to Sig. “Sorry,” I said, pulling open the ties on the backpack.
“Food,” he explained. “A few days’ worth, if you ration. There’s water for a few days, bandages, matches, needle and thread. And a weapon, of course.”
I opened my mouth to question the sewing supplies, but he anticipated my question, smiling ruefully.
“With the way you heal, the only wounds that are really going to need help are those that have to be closed so that you don’t lose too much blood.”
I nodded, swallowing around the lump of fear in my throat. It wasn’t the idea of getting hurt that scared me—not anymore. It was the threat of another assault on my mind. The way the masters had trained me had been very specific. They had been breaking me down mentally, and it was a very different pain to the purely physical pain.
“Are you okay?” Sig asked, and I realised I had gone still, a strange kind of numbness creeping over me.
“Yes,” I croaked, shaking my head. “It was you and the others who organised this?” I held up the backpack. “And the clothes?”
“The bag, yes, but what clothes?” He lowered his voice, ducking his head down toward me so that the others wouldn’t hear. “We were worried. First, the Darkness took the sun, and then the great masters took you. We weren’t sure if it was connected. We thought maybe they were working together after all. We left the bag in your room just in case. Did they help you?”
I shrugged, but the movement was anything but casual. It was almost a shudder.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “It really seems like they were training me to make me stronger.”
“What did they do?”
I flicked my eyes up, looking into his, thinking of how much I had disliked him the day I met him. I had thought his green eyes seemed cold and mean.
I had been wrong.
“Disassembled me,” I muttered, a half-smile hooking my mouth, completely devoid of humour. “Where are the others?”