“How long were you there?” Eamon’s question came in a whisper.
Slay realized he might be superfluous but leaving would distract the other two. He hoped that his familiarity could serve as a buffer and would keep Eamon calm, hopefully long enough for Ro and Eamon to talk. Best I can do is stay still and quiet, try not to ruin the moment.
“My entire life,” Ro said softly. “Until I participated in a failed rebellion. I was about to be executed when Alastor saved me. At that point, I joined his honor guard, and we eventually fought beside him in the war under the banner of the Exiles.”
Closing his eyes, Eamon visibly wrestled a horde of terrible memories. “I can’t forget what happened to me there.”
“They experimented on you,” Ro said, a statement, not a question.
Eamon snapped alert; he seemed startled by her surety, even taking a step toward her. “How do you know?”
“They were obsessed with taking Animari hostages, trying to develop a serum that would allow Golgoth soldiers to heal like the Animari do. They never got it right, and now the program is no more. You may not have heard, but the undercity was flooded, and there are no more prisoners in Golgerra. My friend Chantisse has been elected as prime minister in the first democratic election. The old ways are no more.”
“No prisoners. No experiments. No torture. No work detail.” Eamon let out a ragged sigh, tipping his face toward the dusty ceiling. “Weren’t you scared when you left? If you spent your whole life down there.”
“Terrified,” Ro admitted. “I sobbed and shook the first week after we left the city. I couldn’t get used to the open spaces, and the sky terrified me. The sun was something I’d heard of, but it scared me too. Pretty much everything was horrifying to me. Until it wasn’t. I kept telling myself that I had no choice, I had to cope to repay Alastor for my life. I didn’t have the option of hiding, so I did what I had to, one minute at a time.”
“I feel like you’re judging me,” Eamon said, after a brief silence.
Slay bristled. He hadn’t taken it that way but he managed to keep quiet. Ro could handle herself, and if he snapped, Eamon would kick them both out.
Ro waved both hands in a negating gesture. “I’m sorry for sounding like that. I’m conveying my experiences. If I’d had a safe place to go, maybe I would still be holed up like a badger. Heal at your own pace, and don’t let anyone tell you when is long enough.”
Eamon took another step toward Ro, his voice soft. “Thank you.”
She added, “I will say this, though. If you don’t try to move on, you’re the one who will suffer for it.”
“What do you suggest?” Eamon asked.
Rowena seemed to consider, then replied, “Maybe…think of one thing you want to do more than you wish to hide. Then try.”
Slay held his breath, because already Ro had gotten further with Eamon than anyone else. Everything hinged on Eamon’s response, though.
“What if I fail?” the other man asked.
Ro answered immediately, “Try again. Failure is the step before success, right? And incremental progress is still progress. If you keep at it, one day you might find that you’ve gone further than you imagined you could. I believe in you.”
“Would it be okay if I hugged you?” Eamon asked Rowena.
In answer, she opened her arms. It was a ginger, tentative embrace on both sides, and Eamon scrambled away afterward like a skittish cat. Slay didn’t even feel jealous.
“Good talk,” Slay said. “We shouldn’t outstay our welcome, though.”
Eamon held up a hand. “Stay a moment longer, please?”
“As you like,” Ro agreed.
Slay stared in disbelief. For the first time in forever, Eamon pulled the blackout shade from one of the windows.
“This is the first step,” he said to Ro. “I want to see the sunrise.”
30.
Awed, Ro watched as sunlight streamed into the dingy flat, highlighting how much had been hidden in the shadows.
Eamon was breathing hard, but he didn’t put the cover back. “I need to do some cleaning,” he said, eyes narrowed against the light.
“Get to it, bro. We’re off,” Slay answered.
Ro went to the door and waited for Eamon to remove the chain. This was his space, and he should feel in control here, even as he prepared to take steps to rejoin the wider world. She waved and left before Slay, letting him catch up to her on the stairs.
“There’s somewhere else I’d like to take you,” Slay said.
“Then let’s go.”
Lacing hands with the one she loved, Ro enjoyed strolling through the park with the sun shining down. There was a gazebo in the center with a family enjoying a picnic. A profusion of plants lined the stone pathway, a few had tiny yellow and white blooms already.
“The long winter’s finally at an end,” she said softly. “We missed the spring thaw and it’s nearly summer now.”
“You brought the sunshine, love.”
“I can’t even believe the things you say.” Her cheeks felt delightfully warm, a combination of his flirty words and the sunlight on her skin.
“My heart is warm because of you. And it’s hot in my pants, too.”
Speechless, Rowena stared at him, trying to decide if she should laugh or hit him. “That’s enough out of you. Where are we going anyway?”
“You’ll see.” With a mysterious gleam in his golden eyes, he tugged her toward an imposing structure built of pale glass and stone.
Inside, there were hundreds of square niches filled with mementos, photos in frames and trinkets, dried flowers, and personal treasures. She gathered that this site commemorated the lost. Slay wore a somber look, his free hand curled into a fist at his side as he came to a stop before one of the memorials.
Ro recognized the woman from the family photos in Slay’s apartment. “We’re visiting your mother?”
“I wanted to do this here. Since I can’t ask her for approval, this is the next best thing.” Slay dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring box. “We’ve been through so much together, and I’m sure of only one thing—that I love you more than life and I want to spend the rest of mine with you, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. Are you willing to stick with me?”
Tears spilled down Rowena’s cheeks, and she reached out to pull him to his feet. “This is the first and last time you ever kneel to me, okay? I’m not sure why you did that, but I don’t like seeing you plead for anything, not even me.”
“That’s not an answer!”
“Of course it’s a yes. I’ve been wondering for a while if you want to be with me, but I was so scared of asking. Because what if you didn’t? What if—”
“Thanks for letting me do the big move,” he said huskily. “I needed to be the one, you know? You can take the lead in other stuff, but I needed you to know that I’m willing to lay my heart on the line.”
“I love you,” she said, delighted that she finally could. “I love you so much. I love your chin and your nose and your laugh and your ridiculous attempts to be sexy.”