“Fuck, yes.” The tenuous hold I had on my control snapped, and I was all over her. Our mouths collided in an open-mouthed, blatantly carnal kiss. My world righted, as though it had been off its axis since she left, and I finally had steady ground under me again.
Her hands tore at my shirt. Buttons flew.
I snapped the straps of her delicate little thong.
“Yes!” she cried when I plunged two fingers inside her tight heat.
“You’re so fucking ready for me.”
Her hands were already at my belt, tugging it free then undoing my pants. Then her fingers—
I groaned.
She fisted my cock and gave it a long stroke.
“I can’t wait.” It was both a promise and an apology.
“Then don’t.” Another pump.
I jerked my wallet out of the back of my pants, took out the condom and rolled it on in record time. My pants and underwear fell to my ankles.
My hands yanked her dress up to her waist. “I’ll savor these later,” I vowed, cupping her perfect breasts.
“Take the rest of me now,” she ordered, her nails digging into the back of my neck.
Our mouths met in another deep, drugging kiss as I gripped her ass and lifted her against the wall. She wrapped her ankles around my waist and little sharp pricks of pain bit into my thighs.
Her heels.
“Say it again,” I demanded as the head of my cock rested at her entrance.
“I want you, Brogan,” she answered immediately, her eyes locked on mine. So fucking beautiful.
I plunged inside her with a hard thrust, seating myself to the hilt.
Then I fucked her against the wall with hard, driving thrusts, using my body to say what my words couldn’t. I needed her. She was my air. She made me desperate and hungry. I was nothing without her warmth, her love. Every time I sank inside her was better than the last time, and soon there was no finesse to our lovemaking, just pure, primal need.
Her moans and whimpers stripped my soul bare and took down any defenses I’d managed to build, leaving me completely open. Completely hers.
“Don’t stop,” she begged between kisses.
“I won’t,” I promised, and I didn’t.
I kept her beneath me all night, wringing every gasp, every moan, every bit of pleasure from her body that she could give. I used our chemistry, our undeniable need as my only weapon to remind her that this was where she belonged—in our home, our bed.
We fell asleep after round four.
When my alarm went off for morning skate, she was gone.
20
Fiona
“It was smart to leave, right?” I said as I paced the length of Maddie’s living room floor.
Daisy and Maddie both looked up at me with confused faces, neither one of them daring to speak.
“I mean,” I continued my ramble. “I couldn’t stay. Staying would mean that we’re back together. That the engagement is back on the table. All of it. And it wasn’t like he came out and said those exact words to me.” I raked my fingers through my hair, my heart racing like I’d run a marathon.
“You need to sit down,” Daisy said. “You’re making me dizzy with all your pacing.”
I sank into the chair across from the couch. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m just totally baffled how you don’t see it.”
“See what?” I asked, my eyes jumping between my friends.
“How deep in love that man is with you,” Maddie answered. “You can’t even fight without ending up having crazy-hot sex. That doesn’t happen to everyone, you know?”
“Not to mention all the other obvious reasons,” Daisy added. “Like the fact that he trusts you with his daughter or that he makes you laugh or that he is totally aware of your commitment issues and isn’t pushing you on the matter. And the fact that he paid off your loans so you wouldn’t feel obligated to come back to him for a job.”
I let my head fall into my hands, feeling like an absolute asshole for leaving him before he woke up. But I’d panicked. I’d spiraled right back into that scary tunnel of not knowing what to do about how much I loved him. Because I did. So much. Too much.
“What if I give in?” I asked. “What if I say yes to him, and the minute we say I do everything vanishes.” I snapped my fingers for emphasis, and they both rolled their eyes.
“You are not your mother,” Maddie groaned.
“And you’re smart enough to know what’s real and lasting and what isn’t,” Daisy said.
I bit my lip, panicking.
“Seriously,” Maddie said. “Look at the facts.” She ticked off reasons on her fingers. “Did you and Brogan meet at a casino in Vegas and drunkenly get married?”
“No.”
“Did you meet him on an island resort and have a vacation fling that led to a marriage?”
“No.”
“Did you get stuck in an elevator with him and convinced yourself he was your one true love?”
“No,” I said and actually laughed a little. Though the reasons sounded ridiculous, they weren’t far off from the way my mother found husbands.
“How did you fall in love with Brogan?” Daisy asked.
I inhaled deeply, letting myself really feel everything from the past few months. I fell for him in the moments between the job—the tiny pieces of time carved out especially for us. Between his kisses and his jokes, between being the cure to soothe his sharp edges and him being the strength to carry the baggage I held. I fell for him with every smile, every laugh, every rough night that threatened my sanity, but just the notion that we were going through it together somehow made it bearable.
“Fiona?” Daisy asked when I’d bolted out of the chair.
“There were a million reasons I fell for him,” I said, heading toward the front door.
“And?” Maddie asked.
“And none of them are fleeting. They’re the long-lasting, solidarity, get-us-through-anything kind of reasons.”
Daisy and Maddie sighed, their faces screaming finally.
“And?” Daisy asked, biting back a smile.
“And I’m an idiot. I have to go.” I whirled toward the door, my heart racing with a whole new kind of rush.
I loved Brogan Grant.
And not just the quick, passionate kind of love.
The forever kind of love.
And I needed to tell him before I lost my chance at a happily ever after.
21
Brogan
Enough was enough.
“You sure you don’t mind watching her for another hour or two?” I asked Evie, leaning out of my car window.
“Not at all,” she promised from the door, Skye on her hip. “You do whatever you need to.” She gave me a reassuring smile and shut the door.
I’d held my shit together through morning skate. I’d even kept myself in check during the game, though I did get called on roughing when one D.C.’s forwards got a little too up in Sterling’s crease.
But the second we’d come off the ice, I’d started to lose it.