“That sucks. Cheating sucks.” Beck takes another swig from his beer. “I couldn’t do it.”
“Uh…we almost did,” I admit, my voice so low I wonder if he can hear me.
But he heard me. His brows draw together as he turns to look at me. “What do you mean?”
“When we almost—kissed in the bathroom last year. At that party,” I remind him. “You were with Sasha. I was with Jonah.”
God, did he forget about that incident? If so, how embarrassing. I should’ve never brought it up.
His gaze drops to my lips, as if he’s contemplating kissing me at this very moment. “Oh. Right.”
“Right,” I echo, wondering if that’s disappointment in his voice.
“I remember that.” He stares straight ahead as he shifts his position, making the back end of the 4Runner rock. “Here’s the deal, Adds. I might’ve been with Sasha, but I thought about you. All the time.”
I go still, my brain scrambling, trying to compute what he just said to me. “What?”
Beck slowly swivels his head to look at me yet again, his expression dead serious. “It’s true. I fucking blew it all the time when it came to you. I don’t know if I didn’t come on strong enough or what, but I was totally into you. For like, years. And every time I would say something to you or act a certain way around you, you never caught my vibe or whatever.”
“I didn’t?”
He chuckles. “No, you didn’t. You friend-zoned me every chance you got.”
“I-I never meant to do that,” I admit, feeling stupid.
Feeling like we just wasted a lot of time.
“You didn’t?”
I shake my head. “That time when you asked me to help you find a gift for Sasha and we went to Urban Roots and you bought me that candle…”
“Yeah, that was a moment where I should’ve just admitted to you how I felt then,” he says. “I thought you could tell. I bought you that candle, which was a way more expensive gift than the hat I got for Sasha. The way you kept sniffing it, I knew you liked that candle.”
“I did. I still do. I haven’t burned it yet.”
“You haven’t?”
“It sits on my nightstand. I like to smell it, but I’m afraid once I burn it and it’s gone, I’ll miss it.” Oh does that sound stupid, but it’s true. I’ll miss the one gift Beck got for me.
The only gift Beck has ever given me.
“I’d buy you another candle,” he says with a small smile.
“Promise?” I’m teasing him.
Flirting with him.
“Definitely.” He drains the last of his beer before he sets the empty bottle behind him in the car. “Sasha and I weren’t even together when you helped me out that time. I tried to ask you to lunch or coffee or whatever, but you turned me down. I figured that was it. You weren’t interested in me beyond friendship.”
My heart sinks. I knew I messed up that moment, but I didn’t realize I messed it up that badly.
“You were trying to ask me on a date?”
He groans. “See? I fucked it up so bad, you couldn’t even tell I was trying to ask you out.”
“You didn’t mess it up,” I reassure him. “More like I’m totally clueless.”
“Are you clueless right now?” His gaze finds mine again. “Or do I need to explain myself further?”
“I think I need you to tell me what you mean.” I really need to hear him say the words.
To my face.
He scoots closer, his thigh pressing against mine, and I can feel the hairs on his leg tickling the outside of my thigh, reminding me of how very masculine he is. My chest aches and I realize I’m holding my breath, waiting for him to say something.
“I like you, Addie. I’ve liked you since the sixth grade.” He dips his head, a single chuckle escaping him, as if he can’t believe he just confessed that. He faces me once more, his expression so earnest. “I knew you didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I’m guessing you still feel that way but…fuck. That’s half the reason why I’m drawn to you. You’re easy to talk to, and you laugh at my jokes, when no one else thinks I’m funny. Sometimes it feels like you know me better than anyone.”
My heart is hammering so hard, I swear it’s going to burst out of my chest. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like years.
And it turns out he has, too. I can barely wrap my head around what he’s confessing to me right now.
Car lights suddenly flash across us and we both look in the direction of the vehicle approaching, the headlights so bright, I’m momentarily blinded. The car passes us by parking on the other side of the driveway and then the engine cuts off. All four doors swing open.
“I can’t believe I’m going to a high school party.”
It’s Sasha who says that as she climbs out of the car.
“Please. You literally just graduated two months ago,” says one of her friends, the two of them laughing.
“Oh shit.” Beck’s eyes go wide. “Come on. We need to hide before she sees me.”
We scramble into the back of the car, Beck hitting the key fob so the hatch door closes, but the interior light above us is still on. Beck reaches up and hits the switch, shutting the light off, and we’re shrouded in darkness.
We hear the crunch of footsteps on the gravel driveway and I glance over at Beck, who brings his finger to his lips, indicating he wants me to be quiet.
No problem. I’m not about to try and catch Sasha’s attention.
“Look, Beck’s here. There’s his car,” says another girl as they walk past the 4Runner. “You going to talk to him?”
Sasha laughs. “No way. He’s just a little boy. Now that Jayden and I are back together, I know what it’s like to be with a real man.”
Ouch. That was such a bitchy thing to say.
“High school boys. They’re the worst,” says the friend. Her name is Laura. She graduated with Sasha. Meaning they’re barely out of high school themselves.
“Right? Beck is a scared little baby. He’ll probably be a virgin until he’s in college. Maybe longer,” Sasha says, her tone vicious.
The girls laugh and laugh as they keep walking, until we can’t hear them any longer.
Well.
That was freaking awkward.
A sigh leaves him, once they’re gone, and he leans against me, his arm pressed to mine. “She hates me.”
“I think so,” I agree.
“Talking shit every chance she gets,” he mutters.
“Who broke up with who?” I ask.
“I broke up with her. She’s leaving for college anyway, and we were losing interest in each other. Ever since prom night…” He goes quiet and shifts away from me, though I can still feel his warmth. His presence.
The back of the 4Runner might be roomy, but it’s still pretty cramped with both of us crammed in here, especially Beck, since he’s so broad.
“What happened on prom night?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Or talk about her. She’s not worth wasting words on.” He turns to me, his hand suddenly on my waist, his finger hooking into the belt loop of my shorts as he tugs me closer. “I have a question.”