She scratches the side of her head, vaguely uncomfortable—why? “I have a few places in mind.”
“Like what?”
A sigh leaves her and she turns to face me. “You’re going to tell me I’m being totally impractical.”
“Never,” I say, shaking my head. “Tell me.”
“Stanford or UCLA?” She wrinkles her nose. “Impossible, right? That’s what my mom says.”
“You’re smart,” I tell her and she shakes her head.
“Not that smart. The acceptance rate at both colleges is small, and they both have great volleyball teams. So does UC San Diego,” she says. “I could get in with my grades and volleyball stats—hopefully. But the competition is fierce.”
“You want to stay in California then?” I like that. I wouldn’t mind staying in California too.
Yeah, totally ridiculous to think we can start planning our college futures—together. We’ve only being spending time with one another this past week. That’s not enough time to base any major life-changing situations on.
But I feel like I’ve been wanting her…forever. This is all just natural progression, and it feels good.
So damn good.
“I do. Or I’d go to Washington. UW has a great volleyball team too, and I’d be close to my sister, since it’s in Seattle,” she says.
Seattle is so far. Too far. My sister is there too, but if Addie went there…
I’d never see her.
I have zero plans on going to Washington.
“I’ve heard good things about that college,” I say, keeping my tone casual. Like it’s no big deal.
“I toured the campus last spring,” she admits. “It’s beautiful. I can imagine myself there. Honestly, I could get in there, I think. Especially being out of state.”
“You’re going to apply?”
She nods. “And Stanford and UCLA too. Along with UC San Diego and Fresno State, because my dad wants me to.”
“I’m applying there too. Ash played there. So did Eli,” I say. “They have a great football team. My dad says it would be a smart move, to go there. And my mom would like it because then I wouldn’t be far. She’s really uh—overprotective of me.”
Addie smiles, her gaze meeting mine. “It’s because you’re her baby.”
I make a dismissive noise. “Her six-foot-five baby who towers over her.”
“You are pretty tall.” Addie’s gaze roams over me, and my skin grows warm.
“I’m the tallest Callahan in the family.” I sit up straighter, puffing out my chest. I can’t help it. “Taller than Jake, which kills him.”
She laughs. “I’m taller than Jos.”
“How tall are you, anyway?”
“Five-foot-nine. I’ve always been self-conscious of my height. Guys don’t like it.”
“I don’t mind.” I grin.
“Because you’re a giant,” she teases, then immediately grows somber. “Jonah didn’t like it. Only because he claims he’s five-ten, but I don’t think he is because I’m taller than him. Not by much though.”
I’m quiet for a moment, hating that she brought up Jonah, but I can’t blame her. He’s all she has to compare me too, I guess.
“Forget that guy.”
“Yeah.” She laughs. “I saw him at Marcus’ house Friday. Briefly. He was all over Serena, his new girlfriend.”
I watch her carefully, looking for any indication that she’s sad or upset. “Did that bother you?”
She shakes her head, her gaze meeting mine, steady and true. “No. Not at all. I never really…”
Addie dips her head and doesn’t finish the sentence.
“You never really what?” I ask, bracing myself.
“I never really felt that—way about him, you know?” She’s still not looking at me.
“No, I don’t know. You never felt what way?”
“I don’t want to go into too much detail, since I’m sure you don’t want to talk about my ex with me, just like I really don’t want to talk about your ex with you, but I wasn’t in love with him,” she admits. “I never felt—consumed with him. Does that make sense?”
It makes all the sense in the world, because I feel the same way about Sasha. I liked her. I cared about her. I just wasn’t in love with her.
And I definitely wasn’t consumed by her.
Not like I am with…
Addie.
“Makes sense,” I say, as I drink her in. It’s hard to believe I’ve got her here with me. All alone. Just the two of us. I don’t have to worry about a friend walking by saying something stupid, or one of Addie’s friends having a moment of crisis and needing her.
It feels like we’re the only people on this planet right now, sharing food and a view and secrets.
She has no clue what she means to me, and it’s not that I can tell her.
Not yet.
But I will. Eventually. Because I know…
I’m totally falling in love with her.
TWENTY
ADDIE
Beck is watching me so closely, his gaze full of adoration. I recognize that look—it’s how he used to stare at me last year, right before he got together with Sasha. Even when he was actually with Sasha, I’d catch him looking at me like this.
I was such an idiot. A complete and utter idiot who thought she had no chance with a guy like him. I was also oblivious. In so much denial that we could actually be something beyond friendship.
Well, look at us now.
Last year, I told myself it could never work with Beck. I thought he wanted Sasha, when all along he really wanted me. And I wanted him.
Why didn’t he just tell me? I know we had a few shared moments—specifically that time in the bathroom at that one party, when he almost kissed me. I should’ve known then. I should’ve realized a long time ago.
But the night of the party, I was with Jonah, and I wouldn’t have dared to cross that line because I never believed I had a chance in the first place with Beck.
I was Beck’s friend, and he was mine.
That was it.
There is nothing friendly happening between us right now though. The air is crackling with chemistry. And tension.
So much freaking tension.
“We should put away the food,” I suggest, because I need to break up all that tension. It’s either we pack up our stuff or we get carried away and next thing I know, Beck rolls me over onto the veggie tray in a heated make out sesh.
I really don’t want to get ranch dressing all over my shirt.
“Good idea,” he says gruffly, clearing his throat. “You want to keep anything out?”
“Just a bottle of water,” I say, as I reach for the plastic lid that covers the meat and cheese tray. Beck goes for it as well, our fingers brushing, and I slowly pull my hand away, suddenly overwhelmed.
I didn’t lie to Beck just now. I was never consumed with Jonah like I am him. Beck looks at me in a certain way and I want to melt. He barely touches me in a casual manner and I want to fling myself at him, begging for more. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, the emotions he makes me feel.