I laugh. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a strawberry the same way.
I don’t think I’ll ever look at anything the same way. Not after this. Not after him.
Hours later, languid and fully satiated, we lie among the sticky chocolate sheets. Quinn goes into the bathroom and returns with a warm, wet towel. He wipes me down. “I suppose we should call housekeeping to change the bed.”
“How embarrassing,” I say with a giggle. “Are we going to stand and watch while they do it?”
He appraises the bed. “So we’re just gonna sleep on this?”
My phone vibrates with a text. I sit up. “Sophie sent us a video.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Don’t know. Let’s watch.”
He sits next to me, and I play it. Josie is on her tummy on the floor. Sophie is cheering her on. “You can do it,” she says. “Come on, Josie.”
Our eyes are glued to the video as we watch Josie push up on her arms. Then her weight shifts to one side, and, wham, she rolls over. “Oh my god! She did it.”
Quinn swipes my phone and plays it again. “She had to do it for Sophie,” he grumbles.
I try not to laugh. “You got the smile.”
“Still,” he says, watching it a third time. “Maybe if we go home, she’ll do it again.”
“You want to leave?”
He eyes the dirty sheets, then shrugs. “Do you want to sleep on all this crap? It literally looks like we shit the bed, Amber.”
I have to bite my lip so I don’t smile too big. He wants to go home. To Josie. “You know she’ll be asleep by now.”
“Yeah, but… the bed and all.”
“I guess it would be nice to sleep on fresh sheets.” I hop up. “Okay, let’s go.”
Forty minutes later, we’re standing over Josie’s crib, watching her sleep. Quinn takes my hand, and I realize this is everything I never knew I wanted.
And it scares me to death.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Quinn
It’s early. I don’t check the time, because I can’t pull my eyes away from Amber. She’s sleeping so soundly. She’s on her stomach, hugging a pillow, her head turned my way. The sheets have come off and her bare leg is curved, knee out, almost touching me. Her T-shirt has ridden up and her barely there panties reveal the soft globes of her ass. It’s hard for me not to reach out and touch her. She’s gorgeous.
I’ve almost said it. Twice. I want to say it. The words are percolating under the surface, and the ache of it is almost unbearable. When she opens her eyes and catches me staring, I can’t fucking help myself. “I love you.”
She turns on her side and stares. “I know.”
“You know?”
She sighs. “I do. But I’m not sure I want you to.”
“Why not?”
I don’t think she’s going to answer. Her hesitation is palpable. Then her eyes close briefly. “Because everyone who has loved me has left.”
I trace the outline of her jaw with my finger. “I won’t.”
“You can’t promise that. All relationships end, even if it’s because of death.”
“You don’t want me to love you in case we live happily ever after, but then one of us dies when we’re like eighty?”
She lies on her back and stares at the ceiling.
“You want me to stop flying? Bronc riding?”
“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. Besides, I have to admit, you being a pilot is sexy as hell. The bronc riding I could do without, especially after last night. But even if you did stop doing those things, it doesn’t mean you won’t get sick.”
I sit up. “You mean to say you’d rather go through life not loving anyone than try to live a happy life with the person who’s obviously your soul mate?”
Her lips turn up into a soft grin. “You think we’re soul mates?”
I shrug. “If you believe in that shit.” I push her hair behind her right ear, exposing her tattoo. “Tell me about this.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d noticed.”
“I notice everything about you, sweetheart. I researched the symbol. You feel lost?”
“Gee, whatever gave you that idea?”
I trace it. “When did you get it?”
“I was nineteen.”
“So after you met Piper.”
“I was glad we met back then, but in some way, I felt even more confused. I had a mother and she died. Even though I couldn’t remember her, I felt like I was somehow betraying her. My dad told me it’s what she would have wanted. He encouraged me to have a relationship with Piper. It just seemed forced. We didn’t know how to act around each other. So rather than become closer after our first meeting, we became more distant.”
“I’ve seen her around you, Amber. It truly seems like she wants you in her life. And with your dad gone, you can use every person who wants to rally around you.”
“I know. And I plan on having lunch with her when I go back. There are things I want to say to her that I wish I could have said long ago. Things I didn’t feel I could say until recently.”
“What things?”
“Do you think anyone ever gets too old to need a mother?”
I shake my head and smile. “No. And I think she’d be damn honored if you saw her as one. What’s changed? Why now?”
“It’s Josie. I’m no one to her—a stranger. Yet in some way, I feel like a mother to her. It’s made me realize that it’s not blood, or even a piece of paper, that bonds people together. It’s how you are with each other.”
“You’re going to make a great mother someday.”
She pushes me down and climbs on top of me. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re going to make a great father, whether it’s to Josie or some other child.”
I pull her head toward me. “Less talking. More kissing.”
Just as my dick comes to life, Josie starts crying. Amber springs out of bed. “I’ll get her. I wonder if she’s going to roll over again.”
I lie back. “Someone needs to talk to her about her bad timing.”
“You’re not coming?”
“Not the way I wanted to.” I laugh at my own joke, then throw off the sheets and pull on my pants. “I’m right behind you.”
I’m playing with Josie on the floor while Amber gets some work done. We split shifts with her on Sophie’s days off. I’m thinking about what Amber said about me being a father one day.
I pick up a soft toy in the shape of a helicopter and fly it around her head. “You want to go up in a chopper, JoJo?”
“Oh, no,” Amber says from the doorway. She crosses the room and sits next to us. “You are not taking her flying.”
“I was hoping I could take both of you.”
“Fat chance.”
“You’re never going to go up in a helicopter again?”
Silence.
“How about I bribe you?”