“Atlanta and, um, now?”
“Now, now?”
“Yes. You don’t have to come with me.”
“Of course I’m coming with you. Give me a minute to pack my shit.”
“Take your time. In fact, let me get my things together, then I’ll come pack for you.”
“Nah, I can handle it. Do what you need to do.”
“Okay, thanks for agreeing to come with me.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Barrett
Iwas so damn happy when RJ called to say Lyla was back at the house. Then he told me she said she was just picking up her things, so I knew I needed to hurry.
Even when I’m standing in the doorway, watching her throw things in a bag, I have no idea what to say to her. That’s why I find myself telling her, “I agreed to come to the pool the next day because I thought you might be there. And I would have a second chance to ask you out.”
It takes Lyla a moment to respond, like she’s trying to figure out what the hell I’m talking about. When she does, she rolls her eyes and goes back to packing. “That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s the truth. I swear. Give me a polygraph test right now.”
“Bear, there’s only one truth I want, and neither you nor my father will give it to me!”
“Only because it’ll hurt you.”
She turns around to finally look at me, her hands propped on her hips. “Hurt me?”
“If you want me to tell you everything, then I will, baby. I know that’s the only way to make things right. I just wish you would trust me that this is not something you need…you want to ever know.”
“Tell me.”
I exhale and then go over to sit down on the side of the bed next to where Lyla’s standing. I want to touch her, hold her so bad it hurts.
“It’s been eating me up, keeping this from you,” I start. “I didn’t want you to ever find out, and neither did your father. He doesn’t think you can handle it.”
“Of course not. He still thinks I’m a child!”
“He’s right about this, Lyla. I wish I didn’t know. It wouldn’t be so hard if…”
“Tell me, Barrett. Please? I can handle it.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I finally force my mouth to say the words. “The man who was after you, he was your biological father.”
When I open my eyes, she’s staring down at me, her face blank.
“What are you talking about? My father is my father.”
“No, your real father was Calvin Dockery.”
Her breathing begins to grow faster, until it sounds like it’s becoming difficult for her to get air. She finally sits down on the bed, shaking her head, holding it. “My father can be a dick, but he’s still my father. He’s been there every second of my life!”
“Isaac raised you, loved you, protected you like you were his. And you are his in every way that counts, just not genetically.”
“That…that doesn’t make any sense. My parents never split up. Are you saying my mother had an affair?”
“I wish I could tell you that she did.”
“So, if she didn’t have an affair, then how? How, Barrett?” she exclaims.
“Dockery was a member of the MC with your father. He…it wasn’t her choice.”
“She didn’t want to have me?”
“No, baby. You saw his rap sheet. She had you even though he forced himself on her.”
“Oh my god,” she whispers. “Oh my god.”
Lyla grabs her stomach, and then she’s on her feet, running to the bathroom with me right behind her.
She barely gets her face over the toilet before she loses the contents in her stomach.
Lifting Lyla’s hair up out of her face while she heaves, I tell her, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Fuck. I shouldn’t have told her. What the hell was I thinking? I didn’t want to lose her, and I knew in this moment that if I hadn’t been honest, I would’ve lost her.
I’m so goddamn selfish that I chose hurting her with the truth instead of losing her for good.
I never should’ve said anything.
Telling her didn’t do anything but rid me of the burden of keeping a secret from her. If I were a better man, I would’ve kept carrying that weight.
Every second I have to listen to her get sick makes me regret it all a little more until I’m ready to break.
When there’s nothing left in Lyla’s stomach, I offer her a tissue.
She takes it, wiping her eyes, nose, and mouth with it before flushing it too. “I…I have to go.”
“No, Lyla, please stay.”
She shakes her head as she walks back to my bedroom. “I’m going to Atlanta.”
“Atlanta? Why?”
“There’s an assistant job there. The one I was supposed to interview for before. It’s still available.”
“Why would you move states away to be someone’s assistant when you could stay here and run the whole damn nonprofit?”
She shakes her head again and hefts her bag onto her shoulder. “I can’t, Barrett. I need to go.”
“Lyla, wait,” I beg her, but she’s already down the hallway, heading for the front door.
“Sorry, man,” Thane says before he follows her.
Lyla
“We making a quick getaway?” Thane asks as he follows me to the car with his duffle over his shoulder, his hand pressed to his side.
“Yes, sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m ready.”
“Are you sure you want to come with me? Are you well enough?”
“I’m good,” he says as I open the driver’s-side door, and he goes over to the passenger side.
“Lyla, wait!” Bear calls out. “Don’t take off like this,” Bear says as he comes down the steps barefoot.
Unfortunately, Thane’s walking so slowly that Bear has time to come to the driver’s window.
The gorgeous man just watched me throw up for half an hour, even held my hair. If I weren’t so angry at him and my…Isaac, I would be mortified.
If he touches me, I might crumble, so I don’t roll the window down when I tell him, “It’s over, Barrett. Now I know why you didn’t want any strings. I went from being a pity fuck to a mission for you to complete. Which is fine,” I add with a raised hand to forestall his objection, “because I never believed it was real for a second.”
“Lyla…”
I crank the engine and turn the radio up to drown out Bear’s voice until Thane finally slips in on the passenger side.
As soon as I back out of the driveway, the teardrops start sliding down my cheeks.
“Did my…did Isaac put you up to staying here, keeping an eye on me?”
“No.”
“If you’re lying…”
“I’m not, okay?”
“Is he the reason you want to come to Atlanta with me?”
“No. I know he’ll worry a little less about you when I tell him I’m with you, but I just…I need to get out of this place for a while.”