I shake my head, snorting. “That was a shit joke.”
“I do try.”
We fall silent for a few minutes, watching the dance in horrified yet reverent silence.
“I think I preferred our wedding,” he finally says.
I roll my eyes. “The ceremony lasted longer than the marriage.”
“Don’t say that.” I gaze at him, and he shifts. “Let’s have a drink.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I have to go. The celebrant says it’s going to snow, and if it’s as thick as he says it will be, I don’t want to get stuck here.”
His eyes are dark and mysterious. “Just one,” he coaxes.
I’m so tempted. To have a little period of time with him again would be a snatch of heaven before we go our separate ways for the last time.
“Okay, I give in. I’ll have a Coke.” I sit down on the stool he indicates. I notice he’s given me the one nearest the fire, knowing how cold I always am. I suppress a twinge of warmth towards him. “Maybe this was a good thing.”
He turns back from ordering a drink. “What?”
“This. Us. Maybe it’s good that we’re here.”
Amusement crosses his face for a second. “You didn’t think it was such a good idea a few hours ago.”
“That was before I knew you hadn’t cheated on me.”
He looks almost sad and then clears his expression. “So, you’re okay with me being here?”
“Yes, one last meeting before we go our separate ways.”
His eyes flare but he takes the drinks from the barman and clinks his glass against mine. “That sounds a bit like a railway station. Well, cheers then, brief travel partner.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he distracts me by asking after Jed. The answer segues into other subjects, the conversation as easy and stimulating as it always is with him. After a while, I check my watch and exclaim.
“We’ve been talking for a couple of hours. Shit. I’ve got to go.”
“Stay a while longer,” he coaxes. “I’ll get you a coffee.”
I shake my head, but his charm is as heady as ever, and really, I’m only going to a boring old airport hotel. I can spare a little time. “Okay, then. But I’ll go and grab my bag from the office before they lock the door.”
He nods and turns to the barman, and I slip out into the foyer. I retrieve my bag from the office and return to the lobby. Someone comes into the hotel, and I shudder at the ice-cold blast of air following them in.
I walk quickly into the bar and stop dead. The dark-haired man Lachlan was talking with earlier is sitting on my stool. I watch as they carry on a conversation, feeling my heart sink. The man is very polished and close to Lachlan’s age.
And, just like that, my desire to stay and talk with Lachlan disappears. Moments like this will keep replaying between us because every other man seems more appropriate for Lachlan than me. I’m the bridegroom married in haste and repented at leisure. I’m not worldly and sophisticated and as such I need to remove myself from Lachlan’s script and this performance. Getting stuck in his spotlight can’t happen again.
I back out of the room. Time to go.
“Joe?”
I turn and offer Erica a lacklustre smile. She’s flushed and happy.
“Okay, you newly married lady?”
She grins at me. “Isn’t that lovely. I’ve had the best day ever.”
“Well, that’s good,” I say gently. “As it should be.”
“Thank you so much. I couldn’t have had this without you.”
“Of course, you could.”
“Only if I found someone else capable of managing my mother.”
“I think the circus tends to hold on to their lion tamers.”
We look at each other and snort.
“I have to go,” I say gently.
“Oh no, really?”
I nod. “My flight’s booked. I’ve got to drop the hire car off and then get to my hotel.”
She looks beyond me. “What about Lachlan? Aren’t you going with your husband?”
Shit. “Oh no,” I say quickly. “No. He came in his own car, so he’s going to… he’s going to meet me later.”
A lot later as in never. I wonder why she’s eyeing me strangely but before I can say anything her expression changes and she hugs me suddenly. “Oh, this means I won’t see you again,” she says emotionally. “I hate that.”
“Well, we really can’t make the wedding process drag on any longer. It’s unethical.”
She laughs and then hugs me again. “Thank you, Joe. I’ll never forget you. And when I have a party, I’ll contact you.” She looks around furtively. “Maybe you could organise the christening.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” I step back. “I wish you both every happiness. Now get back to your groom.”
Smiling goodbye at her, I open the door and step outside. The door shuts behind me and I reel back.
“What the fuck?”
Snow is falling thickly, and the light coating on the ground has become a not-so-wonderful winter wonderland. The loch is a gunmetal grey and the air is so cold it makes me cough.
I fumble for my inhaler in my pocket and huff a spray before sliding it back. Then I slip and slide over to my hire car which has become some sort of snow sculpture since I left it.
“Shit,” I breathe.
After brushing snow from the window, I open the door, and it makes a wheezy creak. I throw my bag in the back, nearly jettisoning myself into a snow drift as I try to keep my balance. I hold on to the door for a second, catching my breath, and then I lower myself into the driver’s seat. The leather is icy, and I switch the engine on, hoping the heaters work quickly. Lachlan always told me that force of mind won’t grant wishes, and so I think I’m dreaming when I hear him shout my name.
But when I glance up, I find him striding towards me, moving fluidly through the snow, as if born in a wintry setting. If he’d been on Game of Thrones, he’d have been in a black fur cape with a big dog at his side.
As he gets closer, though, I see he’s actually agitated. “What the hell are you doing?” he snaps.
I spread my hand to indicate the car with its engine running. “What does it look like?”
“You’re actually driving in this weather?” He pauses. “Weren’t you going to say goodbye?” he asks, his voice becoming thick.
I repress a wince. “It’s time to go. Everything is clear between us now and we’ve said everything there is to say,” I say calmly.
His eyes flare. “Well, that can’t possibly be true, because how else can I tell you that you’re behaving like a complete twat?”
“What?”
“Joe, this isn’t just a dusting of snow. This is heavy shit.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Stop it,” he snaps. “The road out of here is treacherous even without thick snow.”
“Well, I’m still going.”
I’m actually nervous about the drive, but he’s talking to me like I’m a child, and I won’t have it. I snap my seat belt on and see gratefully that the wipers have cleared the screen of snow. The interior is getting warm, too. So, it was a good thing that I paused to have this ridiculous conversation.