“It would be in your best interest to turn around and leave.” His voice is firm as he stands at the top of the stairs, blocking the door.
I shake my head. “Man to man, my woman is in there, and nothing will keep me from her,” I say. “You could probably take me”—he smirks—“but in the end, there will only be one outcome and that is me getting to my girl, no matter what.”
“Is that so?” he asks, folding his arms over his chest. “I find it interesting that you show up here four days later.”
“I didn’t know where she was,” I tell him. “The minute I found out, I came right here.”
“The difference between a man and a boy is the ability to protect what’s his.” It’s a cheap shot, but it’s true. “You weren’t able to do that now, were you?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” I tell him.
“Oh, trust me, I know what I’m talking about because I had to carry a woman who couldn’t stand on her own.” The thought shoots through my heart. “A strong, independent woman who now walks with her head down and her shoulders slumped a bit, but she’s strong, so she’ll get back up there.” I don’t answer him because I hear the door behind him open and then close. My heart speeds up, thinking it could be her, and at that moment, I would take anything she has to give me. To just look into her eyes if only for a minute. But once the figure steps forward, I see it isn’t her but Kellie. She walks to the man’s side and glares at me.
“Well, well, well,” she says, “look at what the cat dragged in all the way from Hollywood.” Her Southern accent coming out. “You aren’t welcome here.”
I shake my head. “I’m not leaving here until I see her,” I finally say. I’ve had about enough. “The past four days have about killed me.” I swallow now. “I just need to see her, to make sure she is okay.”
“She isn’t okay. Nothing about this fucked-up situation will make her feel ‘okay,’ as you put it.” Kellie walks down the stairs, the guy following her. “She hasn’t eaten in four days; her life has been turned upside down,” she says, coming toe-to-toe with me. “I also know you’re the only one who can fix her.” She folds her arms over her chest. “She’s going to be pissed.”
I nod my head. “She has every right to be.”
“I have your word that if she tells you to go, I mean, really tells you to go, that you’ll walk away and get off my fucking property no matter how much it hurts you.”
I don’t want to agree to this. I don’t want to tell her that if she really wants me gone, I’ll go, but I have to. “You have my word.”
“She’s out in the back where she’s been sitting if she isn’t sleeping or crying.” She digs the knife in deeper. “Walk straight out to the back.”
Running up the steps, I swing the door open and make my way through the huge country house, stopping at the door leading outside. She’s sitting in a white Adirondack chair with her feet curled up under her, looking out at the mountains. One look at her and my heart finally starts to beat normally.
I just pray that whatever the outcome, my heart continues to beat and isn’t shattered into a million pieces.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jessica
Looks like Tyler has tossed out his assistant. Appears she was the one who leaked the story.
I look out into the distance at the snow-capped mountains. The breeze is starting to pick up, so I tuck my feet under me. For four days, if I wasn’t in bed, I was out here. In four days, life as I knew it was over.
The day after I woke up from the nightmare, I drafted my letter of resignation. I wasn’t expecting Stephanie to answer, but she did, and she was actually angry with me for just leaving without notice. My phone never stopped ringing, and at one point, I couldn’t take it and just disconnected the line. There was no reason to have it anymore. I sat outside with Kellie, telling her how I would have to go back and somehow face the music. I heard from Mary who said that she tried to go over to my apartment but at least twenty paparazzi were waiting in the distance. So Kellie did what she knows how to do; she made shit happen. Well, not just Kellie but Brian also; the security firm he works for got me packed and moved out in I think they said twenty-five minutes. Now my stuff is in her garage in Calabasas, waiting for me to figure out where I go next.
Refusing to even think about it, I wrap my hands around my stomach when another cool breeze comes over. This thin sweater and scarf are helping just a bit. I hear the back door open and shut, but I don’t turn around. I’m expecting Kellie to bring me coffee. For the past four days, all she’s been doing is making sure I don’t collapse. She keeps cooking and sending Brian out with food. I hear the crunch of rocks under her feet. “You know, I could get used to the peacefulness here. I think I want to buy a house here.”
“If you give me a chance, I’ll buy you whatever you could possibly want.” I hear his voice and blink my eyes. It can’t be. No one knows I’m here, not even my family. I shake my head, not sure what is going on. Maybe I’m hallucinating. My head turns to the side in slow motion, and his face comes into view. My heart starts beating faster than it ever has. I turn in my seat, and I stand. He doesn’t move, and I look at him, and nothing, nothing is like I thought it was. The memories of him are nothing like the real thing. His eyes are darker than in my memories. “What are you doing here?” My voice shakes while I ask him that question. I try to settle my heartbeat, but it’s like pain ripping through me all over again. The burning now itching my eyes, the tears ready to come again. Today, I went a full three hours without a tear falling.
I look at him. He’s beautiful, but it’s nothing new. After all, he’s Hollywood’s golden boy. “I would have been here earlier if I knew you were here.” I wasn’t ready for the sound of his voice and what it would do.
I stand straight. “Maybe that should have been your first clue that I didn’t want to see you.” My hands start to shake now, so I clasp them together in front of me.
“Jessica.” My name on his lips is too much, and I shake my head when he comes forward as a tear rolls down my cheek.
“Please don’t do this.” I steady my voice, swallowing, but my lower lip quivering. “Just let it be. Let me be.”
“How?” he asks, his voice quivering now. “How can I let you be when I can’t breathe without you? How can I let you be when half of my soul is missing when I’m not near you? Tell me how, Jessica, and I’ll leave you and never come back.” He doesn’t give me a chance to answer, and I don’t think I would have anyway because had I spoken, the sob I am trying to keep at bay would have roared out of me. “I will never forgive myself for putting you in this position. Never.” His eyes fill with tears, and with one blink, they roll down his cheeks.
The need to go to him and wipe it away is so strong, I can’t stop it. My hands itch to touch his face, to rub his chin and then his cheek, but something stops me. Whether it’s from fear, hurt, or anger, it’s bigger than me. “I took that picture for me without even telling you the morning in Paris after that disaster on the red carpet.” I swallow as I watch him pour his heart out to me, his chest rising and falling. “I think it was then I knew I was in love with you,” he says, and I gasp out now. My hand covers my mouth, trying to stop the sob that rips through me. “I can’t do this, baby.” He shakes his head. “I can’t not come to you and not touch you when all you’ve ever done since we started this was absolutely complete me.” I stand in front of him with both hands on my face, trying not to sob, trying to breathe through the pain when I feel his arms around me. My face pushes into his chest as my body shakes with sobs. “I’m so sorry.” I feel his hands in my hair, his lips on my forehead. I don’t know how long I stand here with his arms around my shoulders. “It’s been torture,” he whispers, “pure torture. I haven’t slept in four days.”