She nods. “That sounds like the best night ever. You forgot about maybe a cheeseburger.” I point at her, nodding. “Go take your bath, and I’m going to set up things for our slumber party.”
I turn and walk back into the bathroom, trying not to feel sorry for myself. I know he said that after the ninety days we would talk, but I was hoping he would give a little. I was hoping he would want to kiss me, that he would want it just as much as I do.
I put some bubble bath in the water and drop my robe. Dimming the lights, I step in the hot water and hold my legs to my chest. My long hair falls to the front, and I play the day over again in my mind. I didn’t tell Cori about the way he held my hand because that’s mine to have. The way he smiled at me, the way he looked at me, and then the end when he whispered the two words to me. As I feel the hurt, the rejection, a single tear escapes, rolling down my cheek and falling into the water. I let myself have this moment, and then I make myself finally let go of my girl crush. It won’t be easy, but the walls will have to come up. I lean back now and sink into the water up to my chin and close my eyes. I stay in the bath until the hot water turns cold, and my fingers shrivel up. I get out and towel off, then put the robe on, and when I walk back out, Cori is lying on my bed. The door to my room is open and where the couch should be is a queen-size bed.
“I just ordered room service,” she says, and I nod. Going to the little kitchen they have in the room, I grab a water bottle, and then I hear the front door slam. I look toward the doorway and see Brian storming in.
“Hey,” he mumbles under his breath and doesn’t even look at me. “I need a shower,” he says, turning around and stomping into his bathroom. I look at Cori, who raises her eyebrows at me, and then I walk into the bedroom and climb into bed with her. I try to focus on the movie she is watching, but I can’t. Especially when he comes back out from the shower wearing shorts and nothing else.
“Holy mother of all things holy,” Cori mumbles from beside me. “I bet he has a small, crooked penis.”
I shake my head. “I don’t care.” I try not to think about his penis, and then the knock on the door has Cori getting up and Brian looking into the bedroom. I lock eyes with him, but he looks away. Cori comes back in with the huge tray. “I’m eating in bed,” I tell her, and she carries it into the bedroom. “Can you close the door please?” I ask softly, and she gets up and walks over to the door, closing it with the sound of the click. I sit in bed, eating little bites, and then slide under the covers, waking the next day.
Cori isn’t there when I get up, and I reach for my phone and then text her. I stay in my room with the door closed until it’s time for us to head out. I keep my head down when I walk out of the bedroom, but I feel him right away. From the side, I see him getting up and walking to me. “How long is the bus ride tonight?”
“Four hours,” she says softly. “I am going to cancel dinner with my folks so I can come on the bus with you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t. It’s fine.” She doesn’t argue with me. We make it to the venue, and the ride over is quiet as fuck. You could cut the tension in the car with a knife. “Can you get me a trainer? I’d love to go work out after.”
“On it,” Cori says and walks away from me when I take the step to the stage. I run through the playlist, saving my energy for the show. Stepping from the stage to the gym, I have no time to pay attention to him, but I know he’s there. The trainer pushes me a bit harder than I’m used to, but I like it. I wash off my face in the big bathroom, then go into one of the stalls.
“Did you see how hot that security detail is?” I hear a female voice and then the water turn on.
“Did I fucking ever.” The other voice I can tell is Stacey. I roll my eyes. “His name is Brian.”
I hear the other girl snicker laughing, and I try to pinpoint the voice, but I can’t. “Why am I not surprised that you know this already?” The water turns off, and then I hear the sound of the hand towel being distributed.
Stacey then laughs out. “Well, then I guess it will come as no surprise to you that I fucked him last night in the gym at the hotel.” My heart stops, my breathing comes in with pain. “Best workout I had, and the man is seriously packing.” I think I’m going to be sick. I put my hand to my mouth and try to keep it in.
“Oh my God,” the female voice says. “Again, not surprised.” I wait until they walk out of the bathroom. I stand on shaky legs, the toilet flushing as soon as I stand. My hands shake as I reach out and turn the silver knob. When I walk out and look in the mirror, my face is pale as though I’ve seen a ghost. I place my hands on the counter, looking at the sink with little drops of water still in there. I focus on my breathing, and I focus on trying to breathe without the pain in my chest. My body takes over, and I walk out, going through the motions. I walk into my dressing room and see him sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand.
“Can you get out?” I ask him quietly, his head flying up, and he sees me. “I need to focus, and I want everyone out.”
“You look like you are going to faint. Did you eat?” he asks, getting up, and I step back away from him. “I’ll get you a plate of food.”
“I don’t want you to get me anything. If I need something, I can get it myself,” I tell him, my voice soft as I try not to raise it for fear it’s going to crack. I look at him, this man who yesterday couldn’t kiss me but had no problem fucking someone in the hotel gym. “Now please close the door on your way out.”
He doesn’t say anything to me. He just walks out and closes the door. I don’t sit on the couch. I walk to the white makeup chair and sit there. Looking in the mirror, I focus on my face, focus on my eyes that are usually crystal blue but now are clouded over. I push down the lingering hurt. I push everything away, and I get on that stage to become Hollywood’s princess.
Chapter Eighteen
Brian
She hasn’t looked me in the eye since the pub, and it’s killing me. The second she looked up at me and asked me to kiss her, my heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe, the beauty of her surrounded me and captured all of me.
I’m facing her dressing room after she kicked me out. I’m leaning against the white cement block wall. One foot leaned up on it, I’m scrolling Facebook and Instagram, but the only thing I can picture is her face when she walked in after her workout. She looked pale, so pale, and her lips were white. She didn’t make eye contact with me, and when she did, she was guarded, and her shield was up.
I hear footsteps and look up to see Stacey, and I groan inside. I do not have time for this bullshit right now. “Hey, you,” she says, stopping in front of me. She leans in, touching my chest with one hand, and I swear to God if a cock could hide and cover, mine just did that. “I was wondering when I would see you again.” I can imagine she was wondering this since she came on to me in the gym yesterday. If a woman says she wants to suck your cock like a Hoover vacuum, it’s never good, especially since the woman isn’t the woman haunting your dreams.