First, she packed an overnight bag. In went her clothing, her favorite heels, and her toiletries. The rest of her things could be brought to the den at a later date. Next, she called Viktor.
He sounded hoarse when he answered, “Cam?”
Her breath hitched. “I’m ready to come home. I’ll take a car and be there in a couple hours, okay?”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Viktor sounded like relief had knocked the wind out of him. “I’ll come pick you up. I don’t want you traveling across the city by yourself right now.”
“But the pack—”
“Want their alpha’s mate safe,” he firmly insisted. “You wait there and pack your things. I’ll be over in an hour.”
Her chest ached. Gods, she couldn’t wait to hold him. Once they figured out the mess she made, she planned on sinking her claws into him and never letting go.
“I’m going to make some calls before you get here,” she explained, voice rough. “To… to cancel the negotiations.”
There was a beat of silence before Viktor harshly replied, “Damn right, Cam. Damn right.”
Camille sucked in a shuddering breath. “See you soon.”
“See you soon, sweetheart.”
Some of the pressure in her chest eased. Now comes the hard part.
Dressed only in a long, baby blue silk robe, she curled her legs underneath her and stared at the tablet in her lap. Her skin still felt too sensitive to wear much else, though the pull had temporarily eased its grip on her. She had emails to write, calls to make. The first step in untangling her the disaster of her life was pulling out of all negotiations with the only excuse anyone would accept: she found her consort.
Under no other circumstance would it be deemed acceptable to end talks with the interested families so soon. Finding a consort was not favoritism. It was fate, biology. Now that she had locked herself in, there would be no going back, no choosing another. It was Viktor or it was no one. The families would understand that.
So she had to make the calls and write the emails, even if she desperately didn’t want to.
Camille chewed her lip and considered asking Theodore to handle it for her. It wouldn’t look that strange to have the head of her family take on the task, but it felt like the coward’s way out. He had warned her, after all. She wasn’t sure her pride could take a blow like stooping to ask him to clean up her mistakes.
It was bad enough that she would have to call Cyrus personally and tell him that the union that felt all but official was now little more than smoke.
No matter the discomfort, she owed it to him. He was a dear friend, and he’d brought her comfort in the worst years of her mother’s illness with his steady support and gentle care. She adored his family and hoped he would find a bigger, better love than the pitiful thing she could have offered him.
Knowing he deserved to hear it first and not through a vicious grapevine, Camille set aside her tablet and picked up her phone. She sucked in a fortifying breath.
Cyrus picked up on the second ring. “Camille?” Warmth glowed in his deep voice, making the guilt so much worse.
“Hi, Cyrus,” she croaked.
Of course, he immediately picked up that something was wrong. A trained monkey would have been able to hear it. His worry came through the line when he asked, “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
Gods, she felt awful. Tears stung her already bloodshot eyes and her nose tickled in that infuriating way it did when she was about to really bawl. Again. “I’m okay,” she weakly assured him. “I…”
She sucked in a shuddering breath and thought, Just get it out there, Cam. Putting it off will only be worse.
“I’m just… I’m sorry, Cyrus, but I have to call off negotiations.”
There was a beat of stunned silence before he asked, voice hoarse, “I… Can I ask why?”
She sniffled and hugged her robe tightly around her chest. At any other moment, with almost anyone else, she would have been humiliated to be caught openly crying in front of another elf, but after the last two days… Well, she didn’t think Cyrus would judge her for her lack of composure.
As long as he doesn’t hate me after this.
“It’s not you,” she rushed out. “If I was going to join with anyone, it was always going to be you, Cyrus. I adore you.” That was the truth. Even when she considered the other families, it had always been sweet, gentle Cyrus she had in mind. It was simply the fickleness of fate that made it impossible for her to love him.
Closing her stinging eyes, she continued, “I… found my consort, Cyrus.”
“Oh.” She could imagine the stunned expression on his face. “And you… you are going to bind yourself to him?”
“It’s already started.” Camille could feel Viktor in her pores even then, hours after she’d left him. He lived in her skin now. There would be no going back. Ever.
She heard Cyrus’s long exhale before he asked, “Are you happy, at least? Do you like him?”
Her heart squeezed. He sounded so hopeful for her it hurt. “Yes,” she answered, finally admitting it aloud. “I love him.”
It didn’t matter that twenty years had passed. It didn’t matter that they’d grown into new versions of themselves, that there were so many parts of their lives they had yet to share. Camille fell in love with him the first time he snuck into the Tower to visit her as a grinning, rain-soaked coyote, and she fell in love with him again when he begged her not to leave him on that beach.
Even when his heart began to fail, he begged her.
Despite years of trying to bury it, that feeling had only grown with every bit of news, every glimpse of him she dared catch. Every victory made her proud, and every whispered rumor about him made her ache with envy.
She had never stopped loving him, no matter how hard she tried.
Cyrus made a soft sound of relief in the back of his throat. “Then it’s okay, Camille. I’m… I’m sad for us, but I’m happy for you. I only want the best for you. Finding a consort is a dream, and I’m sure he’ll be able to offer you more than I ever could have.”
“Oh, Cyrus,” she breathed, “you would have made me happy, too. It’s just…”
“Different,” he finished for her.
“Yes.”
“It’s all right. I’ll be okay, Camille. As long as I know this is what you want, then I can handle it.” He paused. “My mother will be relieved, at any rate.”
A startled laugh burst from her lips. “Did she dislike the idea of me joining the family so much?”
He sounded scandalized when he answered, “No, no! She just never liked the idea of me in a union, that’s all. She wanted me to find my consort. You know how much my mother likes you. She calls you her sharp little gem.”
Camille swiped at her eyes, unspeakably relieved to hear some levity returning to Cyrus’s baritone. “She is lovely. Your whole family is. I really looked forward to getting to know everyone better.” Her chin wobbled. “I wanted to be a part of your family, Cyrus.”
“You still can,” he promised her. “We love you. You will still be my friend, Camille. Nothing has changed there. Whenever you want to stay with us, you can.”