Drina looked down at the empty glass in her hand. “I keep messing up.”
“Don’t we all?”
Another snort. “I guess.” She set her glass on the island. “You know what happened with me and Giles, right?”
Bree nodded and refilled their glasses. “It sucked balls.”
“Yeah, it did. I cared about him a lot. Even from the early days of our relationship, I could totally see us bonding and moving in together. But I’m not truly heartbroken that the imprinting process reversed itself. Is that bad? Does that make me cold?”
Bree shook her head. “You get to feel how you feel.”
“I don’t know why I’m not as devastated as everyone assumes I am.” Drina knocked back her second shot. “Giles thinks … Giles thinks I have feelings for someone else, and that those feelings got in the way of the bond. Do you think that could have happened?”
The someone else was no doubt Alex. What Bree couldn’t understand was … Did Drina think Bree wouldn’t guess it, or was she building up to something? Curious enough to let this play out, Bree replied, “Possibly.” She chugged back the contents of her glass. “Do you have feelings for someone else?”
Drina bit her lower lip. “Yes. I care about him a lot. He says he doesn’t feel the same, but I don’t think that’s true. It’s not that I think he’s lying to me. I think he’s lying to himself.”
Okay, now Bree just wanted to smash her glass over the bitch’s head.
“I tried talking to him about it, but he shut down. Some people … they’re just not good at letting others into their lives. He’s like that. Honestly, I think even his true mate would have struggled to fully bond with him.”
Bree felt her gut twist. There might just be a lot of truth to those words.
“I can’t be sure if that’s why my bond with Giles didn’t form, though,” said Drina.
“I can give you the clarity of mind you’re looking for, if you want.”
Drina straightened a little. “All right.”
Bree laid her hand on hers. “I have your consent?”
“Yes.”
Bree lowered her shields. It was a little like taking a slam to her soul—there was just so much emotional turmoil. Anguish. Hurt. Despair. Loneliness. Longing. Hopelessness. They bled into Bree, striking her with such severe heartburn-like pain that she sucked in a breath.
… a dream …
… strawberries and cream …
… on and on and on …
Bree frowned. The girl was singing in her head, as if to guard her thoughts. Just when Bree was about to bring up her shields, she sensed an undercurrent of something else. A darker emotion—one Drina was striving so desperately to hide that the only way to “read” it would be for Bree to delve further into Drina’s “emotional heart.” Nah, she’d swerve that option.
Slamming up her shields, she took a moment to study Drina. The creases on her forehead and around her eyes had smoothed out. Her shoulders were no longer hunched, and her eyes were much clearer.
“Now, you’re sure you want me to be straight with you about what I think?” asked Bree, pouring them each another shot. “Because people say they want bluntness, but that’s often only until I say something they don’t like.”
“I want your honest opinion.”
“Okay.” Bree set down the bottle of tequila. “I don’t think that the reason you didn’t imprint on Giles is that you’re hung up on someone else. I think it didn’t happen because you want the bond more than you want Giles—that’s not enough to imprint. You need to ask yourself if it’s the same with this other person you say you care for. Do you really love him, or do you love the idea of being mated?”
Drina double-blinked. “I … I don’t know.”
“I think, then, it’s a case of the latter. If you really loved him, there’d be no doubt in your mind.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Drina grabbed her glass. “He said I didn’t really know him; that you can’t love someone you don’t know.”
“I think it’s easy to convince ourselves we love someone who we don’t know, because we can attribute qualities to them that aren’t truly there.” Bree downed her shot, feeling a nice little buzz enter her system. “If you really knew this guy—like really, really knew him—you might feel differently about him.”
“I don’t think so. I might not truly love him, but I do care a lot for him.”
“If he’s told you he isn’t interested, why chase after him? Why not find someone who will let you in; who sees a future with you?”
“Because I don’t know how he truly feels. He sends me mixed messages.” Drina sighed and rubbed at her forehead. “I think we both know I’m talking about Alex here, right?”
Bree only inclined her head.
“Sometimes he’d turn me away when I went to see him after the mess with Giles. Other times, he’d let me in; agree that we could talk. We ended up in bed together a few times. This hasn’t happened since he started dating you—he has not cheated on you. But before you … well, he blew hot and cold with me. I never knew where I was with him.
“Once, he said that he only kept his distance from me because he thought I might go back to Giles. But another time, he said I should go back to Giles. It was like the closer I got to him emotionally, the more he felt the need to push me away. Or, at least, that’s how it felt.
“You’re thinking I’m bullshitting you; that Alex wouldn’t have kept us sleeping together a secret. But he said that we had to keep it to ourselves until Giles had moved on. I know Alex never promised me a relationship or anything, but it didn’t feel that all he wanted was sex. And then he started dating you and … I can’t help but think he did it to push me away again. Obviously, I could be wrong. Guys do weird shit like that, though. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come to you about this.”
Bree folded her arms, resisting the urge to follow her cat’s lead and snarl at the little bitch. “Why not? Your purpose was to make me doubt that Alex feels anything for me; to make me worry that he might not ever be able to fully commit to me. You couldn’t have done that if you’d talked to one of the other omegas.”
Drina’s mouth bobbed open and closed. She was, what, surprised by Bree’s forwardness? She shouldn’t have been. It was common knowledge that Bree didn’t dance around crap.
“I’m not saying he doesn’t feel anything for you,” said Drina. “But you’ve got to admit, he struggles with commitment. He doesn’t know how to bond with others. Doesn’t know how to let them in.”
Bree cocked her head. “I guess I should pity you.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You have so much trouble accepting that he didn’t want more than a fling that you’ve convinced yourself he can’t bond with anyone. That’s sad. Also shitty to him. I bet it really got to you when you heard he and I are together. It made you face that you’ve been lying to yourself. And now you’re lying to me. I don’t like it.”