But he was also sitting quietly beside her as she worked to reassemble the pieces of her shattered life. She didn’t have to trust him, or even like him, but he had ignored the multiple chances he had already been given to kill her, just as she kept sparing his life. That had to count for something. She could stand this begrudging uneasy truce, even if she was reminded of onyx eyes and iron teeth every time she looked at him. Except now his fingernails were just those of a boy with too much anxiety, jagged and red from being chewed at.
“Do you want revenge for that?” he asked.
“I don’t know what I want,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Except the hope of a nation was pinned on her. She had spent her whole life studying the Divine Codex and preparing for something vast and great that would shake the world. She just hadn’t known what it would look like. She didn’t know if it was in front of her now, or if she needed to take a different path.
Could that path mean she would have to work with this Tranavian? That was what she didn’t understand. Because it was clear Marzenya wanted him dead.
“Why are you here?” she asked softly. “Why would you entertain Parijahan and Rashid’s plans for killing your king?”
“He’s not my king.”
Nadya’s brow furrowed. If he had been a Vulture, then his king would have been the Black Vulture. Is that what he meant?
“Tranavia is crumbling,” Malachiasz said, voice low. “The throne is corrupt. But if you break off the Meleskis’ grip on the throne, replace the king with someone who has Tranavia’s well-being at heart, maybe the kingdom can be saved. Despite how you judge me, I hate this war. I would like to see it end, too.”
As if he realized he had said too much, his eyes tightened and he looked away. She tugged her necklace off, running it through her fingers until she landed on a bead that felt right. Nadya had touched Alena’s power only once in her life and it had been humbling. She was always nervous when she prayed to the older gods, the ones who rarely granted their magic to mortals at all. The Codex said Alena never had, but Nadya knew that wasn’t exactly the truth.
Will you take me back to your church? Nadya prayed.
The goddess’s warm touch filled Nadya. She stopped shivering. Then something pulled at Nadya’s chest, right over her heart. A thread she could follow straight back to the church. Back to danger, back to this strange world of monsters and dark magic she had found herself in. If this was where she was supposed to be, then so be it, even if it took her to Tranavia, right into the monsters’ nest.
She stood, prayer beads held loosely in her hand.
“What were you doing?” Malachiasz asked.
“Praying. I know how to get back to the church. We can make it before nightfall if we hurry.”
She couldn’t read the expression that flickered over his face. It was a mixture of discomfort and awe rolled into one jumbled pile. She found it oddly heartening that her magic disconcerted him just as much as his did her.
They weren’t as far away as Nadya initially thought. When they reached the church they found the front door hanging off its hinges. The walls were covered with blood. Nadya stumbled as she imagined the worst and Malachiasz put out a hand to steady her. He didn’t immediately remove his hand from her arm and she didn’t pull away from its steadying warmth.
“The Vultures aren’t here,” he said, voice soft.
She swallowed hard. Her hands were shaking when she pushed open the door.
“Hello?” she called into the dark, stagnant air within the church.
There was only silence. She felt her heart drop. She glanced over her shoulder at Malachiasz, who stepped past her, farther into the church.
He was immediately knocked aside as Anna tore into the foyer. She threw her arms around Nadya’s neck and Nadya finally relaxed. Anna was safe; she hadn’t lost everything, not yet.
“I thought you were dead,” Anna whispered fiercely.
She pulled back, reluctantly, but then a steely look appeared in her dark eyes and she whirled. Malachiasz’s eyes widened and he took a step back, lifting his hands. There was a sharp crack as Anna punched him in the jaw.
“How dare you,” she snapped.
“Anna, leave him alone,” Nadya said, grabbing Anna’s arm as she prepared to strike again. “We didn’t have a choice.”
“We?”
Malachiasz slowly worked his jaw. Nadya heard it clicking from where she was standing. He was definitely going to have a bruise.
“The Vultures left after we did?” Nadya asked hopefully.
Anna was still glaring daggers at Malachiasz. He back stepped once, then fled to the sanctuary. She ground her teeth, but nodded.
“They wanted me … and him.”
“Because he’s one of them.”
Nadya nodded.
“We have to leave.”
Nadya shook her head. “I’m going to Tranavia. I’m going to end this war.”
Anna turned, but her movements were slow, horrified. “Nadya…”
“If this war were at a different place, if we weren’t losing, then I would go to Komyazalov from here. I would go to the Silver Court and let the king decide what to do with me. But I don’t have the luxury, Anna. You have to understand that.”
“So you’ll throw your lot in with that monster?”
“He saved my life,” Nadya said.
“Only so he can ruin it later!”
Nadya didn’t respond.
“Is this what the gods want?” she asked.
“It’s what I want.”
Anna tensed. “That doesn’t make a difference. You know that.”
“It’s still my life and I get a say in how I use it.”
Anna reared back, making the sign against evil over her heart. Nadya rolled her eyes.
“I have had the gods chattering in my head my whole life. I’ve had this … this destiny hovering over me and I think the least I can ask for is the choice in how I see it into being. If it means going with these foreigners and that monster, then so be it.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
Nadya didn’t understand why Anna was reacting so strongly. It was like Nadya was shattering the image of the innocent, holy cleric Anna had, but Anna knew her better than that. She was chosen by the goddess of death. She never had a chance at innocence.
Anna took Nadya’s face between her hands, forcing her to meet her gaze.
“I don’t want your name added into the book of saints,” she said quietly. “I thought—” Her voice cracked and she swallowed. “When half the sanctuary collapsed and we couldn’t find you, I thought…”
Nadya hugged her. Anna smelled of incense and a lingering reminder of home. The roads before her went in opposite directions but they would lead to the same end. The child in her yearned to see the famed Silver Court once more—the last time she had been there she was far too young to really remember. She wanted to see the dolzena with their kokoshniks and the voivodes before all that gold and splendor melted away for good. But to them she would be a soldier, nothing more, a holy relic, a symbol, perhaps. Nothing human.
Nadya loved her country—more than life—but she wanted to do something that mattered. She could bring the gods back to Tranavia if she did this. They would need to fine-tune the details of the plan on the road, but she felt a confidence she had never really known before. There was an element of divine providence—strange as the circumstances appeared—and Nadya wasn’t going to ignore it for the safer option.