Ford storms back into the room, glancing around like he’s looking for something to hurl at the wall. Beckett gives him a stern look, then comes to sit next to me.
“Phoenix is keeping an eye on her, Ford,” he tells his brother. “You can calm down.”
I drop forward, bracing my elbows on my knees, and Beckett begins to rub my back slowly. My body goes tense under his large palm for a moment, but then I relax and just allow the touch to comfort me. I don’t look at him or give any outward acknowledgement of the gesture though—I’m certain he’d pull his hand away if I draw attention to it.
I can’t believe the men are acting like this. It’s so strange. It’s like… like they care.
And now that I’m awake and somewhat coherent again, I realize how much danger I was in. Morrigan was intending to drain me dry; I’m sure of it. And if the men hadn’t stopped her, she could’ve killed me.
It’s a scary thought, a painful reminder of the fact that I’m not exactly the most powerful angel out there. And that maybe my own trusting nature makes me weak. Makes me vulnerable and open to attacks that I can’t anticipate.
It’s clear to me that if I was on my own in this, I would’ve died. If I tried to close this portal by myself… well, I wouldn’t have gotten this far in the first place because I wouldn’t have gotten any of the information without the help of the sins and their contacts.
But even if I had somehow gotten this far and needed help from Morrigan, I would be dead now if I had come alone. It’s thanks to the men that I’m alive in this moment, and my stomach is erupting in butterflies that have nothing to do with how woozy I am from the blood loss. They seem to care—that’s what I keep coming back to.
They don’t, I remind myself as fiercely as I can manage. They don’t care about you. It’s just because you owe them a favor. Or because they want to use you just like Morrigan did.
But for some reason, that thought doesn’t hold as much weight to me as it did before. It feels more like an excuse, a mantra I keep trying to hide behind. Because it’s scary to believe that they could actually care. It feels dangerous, in a way that I’ve never known danger before. It’s too confusing, too frightening, to allow myself to believe it.
The idea that they were scared to lose me…
I can’t handle that.
Maybe it makes me a coward. But it’s so much easier to just keep things in their neat little boxes.
They’re sins.
I’m an angel.
Like the witch said, those two things don’t mix.
Like oil and water.
Before my thoughts can spiral any more, the door opens. Ford steps back just enough so that Morrigan can exit, Phoenix right behind her. Ford’s not giving her a whole lot of personal space, glaring at her like he’s seconds way from ripping her throat out. Morrigan seems to be making a concerted effort to ignore him, but she’s not doing all that great of a job at it. I can’t blame her for being nervous. Wrath is enough to strike fear in anyone.
Beckett stands up and takes a step to his right, subtly putting himself directly in between Morrigan and me. Remington’s on my right side still, already standing, but he takes a small step toward me as well, making it clear that he’s ready to attack Morrigan again if she tries anything.
Phoenix walks past Morrigan, nodding at Beckett, but he doesn’t walk all the way over. He puts himself in between Morrigan and me too.
My stomach flips.
They’re just protecting their asset, I tell myself. I’m an asset, like stocks in a company. I’m not a person to them. Not in the same way.
Maybe if I keep telling myself this, I’ll believe it—although honestly, I’m not sure what I believe anymore.
“Now, now, my boys. You needn’t get yourselves in a tangle. All is well.” Morrigan smiles and tilts her head at us. “I have given your brother the charm, and you have the body. If you use the charm, infused with power as I have made it, you will be able to command the body to undo what it did. It will seal the portal, just as it once opened it. Do you understand?”
“Yes. We know our way around magic and demons, witch,” Beckett says a trifle impatiently, like he’s finally at the end of a board meeting and he wants to hurry up and get this over with.
Morrigan nods. “To be sure, to be sure. Then you’ll know how to go about it.”
“Great. We’re leaving.” Ford gives us all a get up, get going gesture, fury still flashing in his eyes.
Remington holds out his hand and I take it, letting him help me to my feet. Beckett puts his hand on my lower back, and between the two of them, I feel steady.
Phoenix turns to head out, but he stops when it becomes obvious that Ford isn’t quite ready to leave yet.
The blond-haired brawler takes a step toward Morrigan instead, his voice lowering dangerously. “Listen to me, witch. If you even think about screwing her over, we’re going to fuckin’ destroy you. We were old before you existed, and we’re gonna be around long after you turn to fuckin’ dust. You think all your fuckin’ toying with death is gonna save you from Wrath itself? I got Death’s number on speed dial, you get me? We’re poker buddies. I beat the shit out of him for fun on Saturdays.”
His words are kind of trashy, the sort of words that you would expect to hear between two wrestlers before they go after each other, all for show.
But his body language is anything but that.
He looks like he’s living up to his sin once again, rage taut in the lines of his body. His muscles are tense, his shoulders drawn back a bit, his fists clenched and out from his sides like he’s ready to punch her or wrap a hand around her throat.
Despite her nonchalant attitude when we first arrived, Morrigan looks honestly terrified now.
I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want all of that aggression directed at me. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to Ford’s rage, or if I’ll always feel it like it’s the first time, surprising and a bit scary. I wonder if I’ll ever feel completely safe around him.
Truthfully, in the moment when I woke up to see Ford and the others gazing down at me and realized they’d rescued me from Morrigan, I felt like maybe I could be safe with him. He seemed to care so deeply, and to be so full of wrath on my behalf. I didn’t mind his anger at all in that moment.
But then he turned away, dismissive of me, almost irritated at me—not quite angry, or at least not yet, but definitely annoyed with me in some way. Or maybe not annoyed, but unsettled.
And just like that, the moment was gone.
Ford nods curtly at Morrigan, a satisfied look on his face. He gets pleasure out of scaring people with his wrath, I realize. It’s… disconcerting. Although at least Morrigan has been put in her place. Maybe this will make her think twice before trying to steal someone’s blood next time. I don’t like the idea of scaring anyone, or hurting people who aren’t the corrupted, but she did pretty much try to kill me.
Beckett and Remington are still sandwiching me, and I fall into step between them as we head out, glancing back at Morrigan. Ford has moved away from her, hefting the demon body over his shoulder as he joins Phoenix to bring up the rear of our little group.
For a split second, my gaze locks with the old witch’s.