Will didn’t say anything.
“I remember you saying you were a bastard, but when you made that remark about ‘fatherly’ discipline, it was something of a giveaway.”
He shot a look at his friend. “That information could get me killed.”
“I’m not going to say anything. Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. Where are we headed?”
“I don’t know.”
Tiny sighed. “You sounded like you had a plan when you were arguing with Lord Limpdick.”
Will snorted. “What did you call him?”
The big man shrugged. “It seemed like something Dave would have said.”
“Where is Dave now? Is he still in Company B?”
“They let him out. He’s probably in jail somewhere. So, to be clear, you don’t have a plan?”
Will stopped, staring at the ground. “No. I have a feeling, though. This is probably out of control. It’s going to get really bad if we don’t do something, and hiding won’t help.”
“Oh, good. We have a feeling.”
“Sorry.”
Tiny shrugged. “It’s all right. Sometimes your feelings result in painful consequences, but they never lead me into anything I’ve regretted.”
“I’m sorry about what—”
Tiny lifted a fist. “Remember what I told you?”
Will shut up.
“So, where are we headed?” repeated Tiny.
He thought for a minute. “We should check on Janice.”
“She’s fine,” said Tiny immediately. “We were released together.”
Will felt hesitant to ask, but he did anyway. “How did she seem?”
“I think she was a little shocked at the change, but she’ll adjust,” said Tiny confidently.
He frowned. “How can you be sure?”
The big man laughed. “You’ll know when you see her. She’s beautiful.”
Will nodded. “She was beautiful, I remember, but now…”
“She’s different, but if anything, she’s even more radiant,” said Tiny in a matter-of-fact tone. There was no doubt in his voice.
He began to wonder what Tiny’s standards for female beauty were based on. Was the man being kind and referring to Janice’s exceptional character? Or maybe the former farmhand had never had much to compare her to. I wonder what his mother looked like? Will studied Tiny’s face for a moment, then envisioned a square-jawed, broad-shouldered mule of a woman. No, that can’t be it. Finally, he simply said, “Look, Tiny, I’m her friend. Just be honest with me. How bad is it? Are there a lot of scars?”
Tiny smiled faintly. “You’re really worried for her, aren’t you?”
“Of course, it’s my fault that…”
The big warrior lifted his fist threateningly.
“I’m talking about her, not you!”
His friend shook his head. “Same difference, and she would feel the same way. Don’t let me catch you apologizing to her in front of me, or I won’t just joke about thrashing you. She chose to do what she did, she knew the danger, and she saved your ass. So let’s not entertain the idea of diminishing that.”
Will held up his hands in surrender, and Tiny nodded acceptingly, then continued, “To answer your question, you’ll have to see for yourself. I won’t spoil it, but trust me, she’s as lovely as ever.”
Will looked away but watched Tiny from the side of one eye. Maybe he can’t see her objectively, because… Unable to contain the thought, he asked, “Tiny, are you smitten with her?”
“Of course not!” said Tiny immediately, his cheeks coloring. Trying to defuse the moment, the big man struck Will playfully, knocking the wind out of him and sending him falling backward. “Oh, sorry!” He held out a hand and helped Will back to his feet.
Dusting himself off ruefully, Will decided to table the subject. It obviously wasn’t a safe topic for casual discussion. Then he saw that Tiny was holding out a folded sheet of paper. “What’s that?”
“A note from Janice. She wrote it this morning before we parted ways.”
“You could have told me that a while ago,” said Will, taking the paper and opening it.
“When? While you were measuring dicks with your dad, or when you were trying to get me to tell you whether Janice was horribly disfigured?”
Will gave his friend a sarcastic smile. “Everyone thinks you’re this kindly gentle giant, but I wonder what they’d think if they heard the way you talk sometimes. Measuring dicks?”
“What would you call it then?”
“Verbal sparring?”
“How about phallic fencing?” countered Tiny with an evil grin.
Will choked, then laughed. “I can’t win. Let me read this.” He held up the note as though he would shield himself with it.
Tiny nodded. “Wise move. You don’t want to match swords with me. I’m not just long of limb, you know.” He stretched out one arm and made a fist, as though to illustrate his point.
He was laughing so hard by then that he had tears in his eyes. “Holy Mother! Please stop.” Staring at the page in his hands, he blinked until his vision was clear and then focused on the words.
Will,
Forgive me for my outburst earlier. I was in a bad state of mind and in no shape for company. Thank you for the potion. I’ve no idea how you managed it, but I worry about what you may have done on our behalf. In any case, that’s not what this missive is for. I have news you might be interested in.
During the day you were away I received a note from my friend, Drake. He did some more digging for me, and it turns out that the reason that Ethelgren’s Exhortation is kept locked away is that it isn’t safe, not even for display. In years past everyone who has touched it with bare skin has perished. Some suffered immediate seizures; others simply stopped eating and withered away.
Whatever the relic’s secret, it appears to be incompatible with wizards of the present. I wish I had better news. Today I will look into the reputed functions of some of the more benign relics. It may be that some of them are helpful even if they aren’t specifically related to the current situation.
I’ll find you tomorrow. I know you’re probably worried about me. I just need a little time to adjust before I face the prying eyes of others.
Your friend,
Janice