‘Turn me in.’
‘What?’ My clerk frowns, not understanding.
‘Use this as proof. I’ll write a confession – I’ll say that Siegfried and I have been working together, using my father’s notes; that we planned to take the throne. Summon the Dark Guards to arrest me, and I’ll tell Convocation everything Siegfried told me.’
‘I’m not going to do that.’ Lucien is shaking his head. ‘You’re in shock, Aderyn, but there’s no reason to –’
‘We don’t have any other options, Lucien.’
‘You’re being ridiculous.’
‘No, I’m not. Hand me over. If the queen is looking for some reason to go after Siegfried, this will provide it. Maybe someone will be able to find Flayfeather’s body. And you’ll probably be given Atratys as a reward.’
Lucien pushes himself up from the sofa and begins striding about the room. ‘Madness! You know what they’ll do to you if you confess to treason? They’ll take you out to the arena and then –’
I talk over him, trying to focus on Lucien’s future, not my inevitable execution. ‘Of course, the Skein would have to be summoned –’ to resettle a dominion would require the consent of the whole assembly: monarch plus Protectors plus Convocation – ‘but I’m sure they would be happy to make you the new Protector.’
My clerk makes a sound – somewhere between a laugh and a groan – and drops his head into his hands. ‘I don’t want Atratys.’
‘But why not? You’d be a much better Protector than me. Aron understands: there’s no place in the kingdom for a noble who can’t fly. And Atratys deserves better than a Protector who cannot transform, who cannot truly protect.’ I run my tongue over my dry lips. ‘You deserve better.’
‘No.’ Lucien looks up; to my surprise, his eyes are full of anguish. ‘I’m not a traitor, Aderyn. And I –’ He breaks off, breathing hard. ‘You don’t know what you’re saying, what you’re asking of me. And you’re wrong. I doubt I’d do any better than you, in the circumstances.’
I put the book of poisons down next to the book my father gave me and press the heels of my shaking hands against my eyes. Perhaps my father was tricked by Siegfried, as I was for a time. Perhaps he meant only to scare his brother, to force him to some confession. He was a good man. But a good man can still do terrible things.
I, of all people, should know that.
‘It was horrible, Lucien: the way Flayfeather died. And I was the one who told Siegfried to kill him. I stood there and watched him suffer. And I was glad.’
Lucien comes and stands next to me. Is he going to take me in his arms? Hold me, the way he did the night that Patrus attacked me? I wish he would. My heart – all of me – aches to rest against him. To feel protected, if only for a moment. But he just puts one hand hesitantly on my shoulder.
It’s all I can reasonably expect, I suppose.
‘It wouldn’t have made any difference, Aderyn. Whatever you said or did, Siegfried was always going to kill him.’
‘Perhaps.’
I’ll never actually be certain.
With an effort, I put my father out of my mind. There is yet another wedding rehearsal later this morning – the last one, I hope – so I send Lucien away to rest and summon Letya and hope that the other participants will not notice (or at least not comment upon) how weary I look.
Letya bullies me into eating some breakfast before I leave my rooms, and I’m glad: the rehearsal drags on for nearly four hours. The Venerable Mother insists on taking us through every detail of the ceremony. We hear (more than once) the readings from the Litanies. We listen to the Responsories, sung by a chorus of flightless singers huddled precariously near the edge of the platform. We practise walking and kneeling at the right moments. For some reason Siegfried himself isn’t there, and Odette has to make her vows to the Venerable Mother instead, but it makes it easier for me to slip away with my cousin when we are finally released.
Together she and I wind our way down the main staircase to the entrance hall, then out to the wide stone steps that lead to the inner courtyard; we are making for the sanctuary. The bridge that spans the courtyard – vaulting over a stream that runs from the mountains to the fjord – is being cleaned; there are servants, gloved as usual, scrubbing the white, crystal-flecked marble even whiter, in preparation for the wedding. They stop their tasks and bow as we walk past.
After the brilliance of the sunlit courtyard the darkness of the sanctuary blinds me; my eyes take a few moments to adjust. Odette has moved towards one of the side chapels. I follow, watching the motions of her body as she kneels briefly then rises to light a candle before the image displayed on the chapel wall. She’s as graceful as one of the flightless ballet dancers we watched perform in the great hall, what seems like months ago now.
‘Well, cousin, shall we walk?’
There’s no one else here, as far as I see, so I link an arm though hers and we begin strolling around the edge of the main circular space. Our footsteps on the inlaid floor echo through the dusty shadows.
‘How long have you known Siegfried, Odette?’
‘Not long really, I suppose. He spent some time at court while he was growing up, as most nobles do. But he is a little older than Aron and me, and Aron never liked him. And I was too nervous to talk to him. I had to be content with admiring him from a distance.’ She smiles slightly and glances sideways at me. ‘Why?’
‘Because he mentioned some things, during the time we spent alone.’ I pause, frowning; I’ve made it sound as if he was discussing his favourite food. ‘I mean, he confessed something.’
‘Confessed?’ Odette’s brows arch. ‘You’re making me nervous.’
‘You’re right to be nervous.’ I try to think of some way of softening what I’m about to say, but I can’t. Instead I stop walking and face her. ‘Siegfried is responsible for your father’s illness, Odette. He means to kill the king. And later …’
‘I suppose you’re going to tell me he’s planning to kill me too.’ Her voice is light and flippant. ‘Whatever Aron and Lucien may say, Siegfried is not his father.’
‘No: he’s far worse. He plans not to kill you, but to drug you. To trap you in the form of a swan. Permanently.’
She laughs in relief. ‘Ridiculous. It isn’t possible. He’s been leading you astray, cousin. Or you’re trying to frighten me.’ Her smile fades. ‘Are you that desperate to separate us, Aderyn? Do you really think that if I break off the engagement he will turn to you instead?’
‘No! I want nothing of the sort. If only you knew how many lies Siegfried has told. Even my ability to transform is a lie: it’s a potion he gives me that changes my shape, not me. I was … I was utterly deceived by him, as you have been. Please, Your Highness, you have to listen to me –’
‘But I don’t, cousin. The only thing I have to do is get married.’
I clench my fists. ‘Odette, I am trying to find evidence to support my accusations, but in the meantime, you must protect yourself –’
‘I’ve always loved this window.’