“I don’t know,” she says, holding her arms across her chest. “You just don’t seem to be that into Franklin. It’s almost as if this whole relationship, or engagement, or wedding wasn’t your idea.”
“I don’t know,” I say as innocently as possible. “It’s not that I don’t care about Franklin but this is more his idea than mine.”
“You’re still hung up on Henry, aren’t you?” Ellis asks. “Do you know that most people think that this doesn’t work and that women are forced to marry men for a variety of circumstances? Even if they’re not full-on coerced, there are always other considerations besides love when it comes to marriage. Especially if you are from established families like we are.”
“What are you talking about? Your mother has had a number of husbands and she has all of her own money.”
“Yes, people think that we have money but perception isn’t always reality.”
I tilt my head and wait for her to explain.
“We don’t have as much money as we should. My mother has made a lot of really, really, really bad investments. In fact, she’s filing bankruptcy and we are probably going to lose all of the properties. David, the guy that I’m dating now, has a lot to offer me and he loves me. If he were to ask me, how could I say no?”
As I walk down the aisle toward Franklin, my thoughts are no longer on just my predicament but also on Ellis’s and all of those hundreds of thousands of women out there who have to marry men they don’t love just to keep their position in life.
People say that money isn’t everything, but sometimes it’s the only thing.
If my father had run his company in the proper way and not squandered the whole pension fund and hadn’t made bad investments that left him practically bankrupt, then I wouldn’t be doing this to not only save my legacy but also all of those innocent people’s lives who would be ruined if they lost the only money they had.
There was a moment when I thought that I could get out of it. I thought that I could be selfish and just run away and start my life with Henry but now, I know that I have to go through with it. I have to jump into the fire in order to make everything right again. There are no guarantees but I have to try.
When I take my position next to Franklin at the altar, I repeat the vows that the minister says but instead of that promise, I make myself another.
I vow to save Tate Media and to take control of it, I say silently to myself. I vow that nothing like this will ever happen again.
After we exchange our vows and the choir sings their praises and everyone at the church stands up and claps as we walk out, I glance over at Franklin and feel sick to my stomach.
He looks genuinely happy.
Despite everything that’s happened, I suddenly have a doubt about whether I’m wrong about him.
Maybe he has his faults but what if he actually loves me? Is that possible?
No matter how attractive he is or how charming, I have to remember the truth.
He knows full well that I have agreed to marry him under certain circumstances and he is enforcing them. He knows that I don’t love him and he clearly doesn’t love me.
In fact, he barely even respects me. If he did, then I wouldn’t have caught him in bed with another woman when we were still trying to make things work.
I have never been intimate with him and as I dance with him on the dance floor in front of all of these strangers, I wonder what will happen tonight.
I don’t want to sleep with him but it’s our wedding night.
Will he take no for an answer?
We say goodbye to our guests around two in the morning. I want to stay out even longer but everyone starts to disperse. I say goodbye to my father last and we embrace each other for a long time before Franklin pulls me away.
“Thank you,” Dad whispers into my ear and I almost burst out crying.
Franklin leads me upstairs to the bridal suite. In the elevator, he takes my hand in his and shivers run up my spine.
“This is it,” I whisper to myself.
I won’t be able to push him away much further. I won’t be able to say no anymore.
We have been engaged for months and we have barely exchanged more than a kiss or two. There was only one instance I remember when he put his tongue in my mouth.
I pushed him away for as long as I could but what about tonight?
“You were so beautiful walking down the aisle,” Franklin says, intertwining his fingers with mine.
“Thank you.” I give him a slight nod.
“I can’t believe that we actually did this.”
“Me either.”
I glance up at him and our eyes meet just as the elevator reaches the top floor. It’s a penthouse with an enormous bedroom, Jacuzzi tub, and floor-to-ceiling windows around every wall.
We are on the fiftieth floor so we’re looking down at all of New York City.
It should be the happiest night of my life but I would rather spend tonight it in a roadside motel that charges by the hour than here with him.
“Would you like something to drink?” Franklin asks, walking over to the bar. I shake my head no.
“No, thanks, I’ve had a few glasses already.”
“A few glasses? That’s hardly any!”
I smile, knowing it’s not my place to bring up how much he drinks even though I am his wife now.
I sit down and wait for him to pour a glass of whiskey and take a seat next to me. He drops his arm over my shoulder and pivots his body toward mine. I’m still wearing my wedding dress and I can hardly breathe.
“Thank you for today,” he says.
“You’re welcome.”
I don’t know how to respond before adding, “It has been a long day. I’m really tired.”
“Well, why don’t I help you get out of those clothes and you can put your feet up?”
He moves closer to me and I flinch. When he stands up and pulls me up to my feet, I take a step away from him. I want this to stop but I’m scared to say no. I have said no a lot and I have seen some aspects of his anger.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, pulling away from him.
In the walk-in closet, I peel off my dress and drop it on the floor. I unbuckle the strapless bra digging into my rib cage and glide out of the Spanx holding in my stomach, finally letting out a deep sigh.
There is a fluffy, comfortable towel hanging by the bathroom, but I opt for the sweats that I packed in my bag.
When I come out, Franklin makes a sour expression on his face.
“Oh, no,” he says, “I thought that you would bring your robe so we can be twins.”
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs spread out. His robe falls open just so I can see everything.
I freeze. I don't know what to do.
All the blood drains away from my fingers and I stare at him.
“Come here,” he says, patting the bed next to him. “Come sit next to me.”
I shake my head no.
“Come here,” he says sternly.
When I do as he says, he turns to me and flashes a big wide smile.
Franklin tugs on my shirt and pulls me closer to him. I resist but only for a little bit. I can't resist anymore. I feel an obligation and for some reason I can't say no.
He turns my head up and touches my lips with his. Suddenly, I snap out of it.