Our eyes meet and he gives me a little wink.
I smile back, at the corner of my lips.
“Why is that?” I ask. “Is it because my ex-boyfriend, Henry Asher, runs one of the most successful podcasts in your crime division?”
“Yeah, I think it has something to do with that,” he says sarcastically.
I can’t blame him for this restriction. In fact, I am surprised at his generosity. Never in a million years did I think that he would actually make this offer. Never in a million years did I think that he would want me to work at his company.
“I really appreciate this,” I say. “I hope you know how genuine I am when I say that.”
“It will be a pleasure to have you there and to spend more time with you,” Franklin says. “I’m sure that I will be able to find the right fit for you.”
I shake my head, reach over, and give him a hug.
“I really appreciate this,” I whisper into his chest.
I truly do. What is not lost on me, however, is how conflicted I feel about him as a person.
I know that one nice word or one good deed doesn’t make up for all of the bad things that he has done, but it does affect the conflict that I feel inside.
Franklin gives me these glimpses of goodness that make me wonder why the bad exists in the first place. How can he be both of these things at the same time?
When I pull away from him, I lean back and look into his eyes. I feel him watching me but his gaze is different this time. Something is different. Something has shifted.
“Why don’t you spend the night with me? In our bedroom?” he asks.
25
Aurora
My blood runs cold and I feel my whole body withdraw from him but there’s something different in his eyes this time. He doesn’t make a move toward me. There’s a casualness in his demeanor. He doesn’t have that glint in his eyes that he had when he tried to touch me before. It puts me at ease but at the same time it throws me off.
What does he want?
“Don’t look at me like that,” Franklin says. “I’m not a monster.”
I shake my head, instinctively. I don’t want him to think that I think that.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he says, keeping the tone of his voice as calm as possible.
“So…why?”
“Because, I want to sleep with you. Is that so wrong?”
“Sleep with you?” I ask in a barely audible whisper.
“I’m tired of sleeping alone, Aurora. I’m married. I just want someone there. Someone breathing next to me. Can you understand that?”
I give him a slight nod. A few loose strands of hair fall into my face as I exhale slowly. I understand that more than he could possibly know.
I cautiously believe him but keep my guard up. I don’t dare say no. So far, he has been more than gracious and understanding.
We walk to the master bedroom and my feet make a loud creaking sound on the polished hardwood floors.
“Do you need anything from your room?” he asks.
I do, so I stop by and grab my phone along with my eye mask and earphones.
“Do you sleep with your AirPods in?” Franklin asks.
“Yes,” I say.
He smiles. “So do I.”
“I usually sleep naked,” Franklin says, “but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
I’m about to disagree but instead I just thank him.
“How about you?” he asks.
“Sweats, kind of like these.”
He heads to the marble bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. I haven’t done any of that yet but I get into bed anyway. I can only bear to take baby steps with this and going through my whole evening ritual right now, let alone doing that in front of him feels like it would be too personal.
Franklin doesn’t comment on this. Instead, he just gets into bed next to me and opens this phone. By clicking on the app, the lights dim and my heart skips a beat. Is this when it’s going to happen? Is this when he will turn on me and make his move?
I open the Kindle app on my phone and stare at the words of the book that I have been reading or rather not reading for the last week. I read the same sentence over and over again but it’s no more comprehensible.
Out of the corner of my eye, I feel him watching me. My mind starts to race but I don’t dare move.
“Good night,” he says and shuts off the light above his head.
The dim light above mine remains. It’s controlled by my phone and I quickly search for the app to turn it off. Somehow, I feel like I will be safer in the dark.
“You don’t have to go to sleep on my account,” Franklin says. “Feel free to keep reading.”
“Okay,” I say after a long pause.
I hear him starting to move and get comfortable. When I glance over, I see him with his face turned away from me, and his arms firmly hugging his pillow.
“Aurora,” he says, his voice muffled.
“Yeah?” I whisper, tensing my toes and praying that this isn’t all an elaborate set-up for the sudden attack.
“Thank you for staying here tonight. It feels really good to have you with me.”
I don’t respond. My body relaxes and I let out a long sigh of relief but with the next breath, I feel a pang of guilt as well.
I read for a few hours until I am certain that he is asleep. After that, I wait even more. I listen to his breathing and I hear him falling deeper and deeper into sleep. Finally, around two in the morning, I gather enough courage to slip out of bed.
I tiptoe over to his office where he left his laptop and pull out the copy of the thumbprint that Jackie dropped off with me. We met at a coffee shop and he slipped it into my purse saying that all I have to do is adhere the thumbprint to my own and press down.
I don’t know what’s going to happen or even if it will work. I also don’t know what’s going to happen to the laptop if it shows that it has a failed login.
Will there be a report of these attempts?
Suddenly, I wonder if this is the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life.
No, it’s not. Marrying Franklin was.
I adhere the sticker to my thumb and count to three.
“One. Two. Three.”
Okay, you were supposed to press your thumb print and unlock the computer but I didn’t.
I simply stay here, frozen in space.
I take another deep breath.
And then another.
All of the courage that you had up until this point is not worth shit if you don’t go through with it, I say to myself.
Instead of counting again, I just go for it. I press my thumb down and a little circle pops up with an arrow going around in a clockwise motion. A moment later, I’m in.
26
Aurora
Another part of my brain takes over. I search the computer efficiently and without hesitation. I don’t know how much time I have, so I work fast. I don’t bother to look back and I don’t bother to worry about whether or not Franklin is still sleeping. If he catches me here, it’s all over. There’s no way to explain. There are no amends to make.