“I think we need to summon Julia,” Lorna said. “We’re basing a lot of our decisions on what she said about helping each other. If you think about it, that’s a vague directive.”
“I’m not sure you should use grandma as your guru,” William said. “She was pretty out there in life. I don’t think that would have changed much.”
“If you intended for Sam to come back from the dead, that would explain how the séance went wrong, why he broke free from the circle,” Heather said.
Vivien knew her friends were frustrated with her. Heather had been adamant about focusing their intentions, and Vivien had used their combined power to try to do more. “I’m sorry. There should have been no risk to any of us. Sam was all about love. I didn’t think it would go badly.”
Her heart belonged to Sam. It always had. She closed her eyes briefly, seeing his chapped lips move. She’d tried to keep moisture on them, but nothing had seemed strong enough to help.
“There is only us. I’ll be watching you. Save your heart for me. It’s mine.”
“I will be there this time when you talk to Julia.” William moved closer to Lorna and slipped an arm around her waist as if unconsciously trying to protect her from the unknown.
“I don’t think—” Heather began to deny her brother’s request.
“She’s my grandmother too,” William interrupted.
Heather looked at Lorna and then Vivien.
“I don’t see why he can’t be there,” Vivien said.
“Damn straight I can be there. I need to protect my girls.” William pulled Lorna closer to his chest and tried to look stern.
Vivien arched a brow. “I changed my mind. I know you did not just say that.”
William’s mouth twitched a little to show he’d been teasing to lighten the mood. “Protect my women?”
“Somehow that sounds so much worse.” Vivien gave a slight laugh. “Speaking of protectors, I should probably thank Troy for fishing me out of the water. The man undoubtedly thinks I’m a lunatic.”
“You’re lucky he was there,” Heather said.
“Maybe you should take him a muffin and thank him,” Lorna suggested. “It’s the neighborly thing to do.”
“All right.” Vivien automatically reached for a muffin. She stopped mid-action and frowned. “Why do I feel like you’re both scheming?”
“We can tell you like him,” Lorna said. “You just need a small push.”
“Yes, I do like him. He’s attractive and smart. He’s a nice guy,” Vivien said, with a shake of her head, “but he’s not Sam. I don’t see any reason to lead him on when I can’t be serious about him. It would be mean to pursue him.”
Especially when she couldn’t rid herself of the hope that she could magically bring Sam back to her, somehow, someway.
“Honey, listen to me.” Heather grabbed Vivien’s hand and held it tight so she couldn’t pull away. She felt her friend’s emotions coming at her through the connection as if trying to convince her of Heather’s sincerity. “Sam is gone. I wish he weren’t, but he is. The dead don’t come back to life. Not in any way that’s permanent. Not in any way that you need. And definitely not in any way that you want.”
All of Heather’s concerns rushed into her. Desperation tinged all of the emotions.
“You don’t have to be so worried about me,” Vivien said, trying to pull her hand away.
Heather refused to let go. “You were young when you were with him. I don’t think you’ve considered what that means for you now. You’ve grown so much. He hasn’t.”
“Are you saying I’m too old?” Vivien demanded.
“Be mad at me if you want, but you know better than that.” Heather dismissed the question. “If a young man were going to stimulate you and give you what you need intellectually, you would have kept one of them around longer than a night. I’m not judging. I’m glad you have fun. But, at this point, can you say you want a twenty-something hanging on your couch playing video games all day? You are not that person anymore.”
“Wait, I don’t—” Vivien began, not liking where this lecture was heading. She hated that her friend had valid points.
“Can you say with certainty that this is what Sam would want?” Heather didn’t let up. “It’s been so long, maybe where he’s at is a better place.”
Vivien couldn’t accept that Sam wouldn’t want to live if given a chance. He’d been so full of life.
“No one is saying you can’t still love him, but you are allowed to love more than one person in your life. You can have two great loves. You can have three, or four, or a dozen. And in doing so, you’re not betraying those who came before. Love isn’t like that. You don’t get a finite amount of it.”
“Heather, you’re hurting me.” Vivien again tried to pull her hand away.
“Good. Then maybe you’ll hear me this time. I’ve told you before that Sam would want you to be happy. He wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want you drowning yourself in the ocean trying to find him.” Still she held on tight. A tear slid down her cheek. “And so help me, Viv, I need you to feel this. I can’t lose anyone else I love. I don’t have the capacity to survive more heartache. It would break me. I’m barely holding on by a thread as it is some days. So call it selfish, call me codependent or needy, I don’t care.”
A dam broke loose inside of Heather, flooding Vivien with emotion, even more than before. She gasped at the onslaught.
“I love you, Viv. You’re like a sister to me.” Heather finally released her hand and swiped at her tears. “But so help me, I sometimes want to throttle you until you stop being stupid.”
“Heather, I…” Vivien looked at her hand and stretched her fingers. The flood of emotions had stopped, but the aftermath remained. What could she say? In those few moments, Heather had dropped part of the wall around her heart. She let Vivien peek into the depths of her pain, not just the hard shell she kept around it.
“Just…” Heather sighed. “Be smarter.”
Vivien nodded.
Lorna gave Heather a sad smile and lightly patted her shoulder.
William put his arm around his sister and pulled her against his side in a hug. “We will not let anything happen to her.”
“And you,” Heather said, nudging him in the gut with her elbow. She looked at Lorna. “Or you. Like it or not, you’re part of this family now too. There’s no getting rid of us.”
“Like I’d want to.” Lorna tried to smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Heather’s mini-breakdown had affected her as well.
“Okay.” Vivien nodded. “I hear you, Heather. I promise all of you that I’ll be more careful.”
Chapter Eight
Vivien knew her friends wanted her to thank Troy for his middle-of-the-night rescue, and if things had been different, she probably would have. If someone did something nice for you, you said thank you. That was just good manners. But something stopped her.