“I remember him. He came forward to present himself because he only had two daughters. Zhàn, tell me what’s going on? Who are you? Is this man even Lin Zhànshì?”
I’ve gotten use to not wearing the mask of Lia now. I’ve exchanged it for the image of Zhàn. I know admitting to my subterfuge could lead to my death, but I can’t lie to Jaxon any longer. My heart beats rapidly, and I know it’s not because of fear, it’s because he’s near me. He’s holding my arm, his skin touching mine, and his warmth seeping into my pores. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to stay hidden, not find a man who makes my very being hum with excitement, knowing he’s just like me.
“He is Lin Zhànshì, and he is my father, but I’m not his son.”
I reach up to where my now shoulder-length hair is pulled up into a bun and covered by a scarf on the top of my head. I remove the scarf and pull my hair free, allowing it to fall to my shoulders. “I’m his daughter. Lia.”
Jaxon takes a step back from me. He searches my face and my body. I watch as his eyes darken in the moonlight of the late hour. Before I have a chance to question if this will be the moment of my death, he surges forward and presses his lips to mine. He crushes them in a bruising kiss, and I let him. I melt into his arms as they wrap around me and pull me to him. I lose my ability to comprehend what this man is doing to me. Eventually, he pulls back and stares down at me again. His chests heaves just as mine does.
“Can I just say being gay is perfectly fine, but fuck, I’m glad you’re a woman. I was beginning to think something fundamental had changed within me.”
“It’s why I couldn’t lie to you any longer. I know it will mean my death, but I couldn’t continue without revealing who I really am.”
Jaxon steps back from me and releases a sharp breath like he’s been punched.
“You’re a girl fighting for the Yi Shu! Did your father send you in his place?”
I shake my head. “No, I snuck out and dressed as a boy. I can’t lose him, Jaxon. He’s already served his duty for Gaozu, and I’m the better option as a soldier for the Yi Shu. I might be a woman, but you’ve seen I’m more skilled at fighting than many men beneath you.”
Jaxon runs his hand through his hair.
“You’re one of the best. Fuck.” He tugs on the ends. “How can I be ecstatic you’re a woman but concerned about it at the same time? If Gaozu finds out, he will kill you.”
“He doesn’t have to find out. We’ve already started the process of bringing down the Jīn Long. I have to remain hidden for as long as it takes to do that. Please, Jaxon. I’ve never been the sort of woman who’ll make a domesticated wife. I live for the thrill of the battlefield. It’s the only place I feel human. It’s where I was truly born to thrive.”
Jaxon comes back, and wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me close. His warmth gives me comfort.
“I don’t know if I can lie to Gaozu. He’s like a father to me. He saved my life and protected me.”
“I know. Maybe I should run away and leave San Francisco. Then you wouldn’t have to lie.” My head rests against Jaxon’s chest. It feels right, so how could it be wrong?
“No, I can’t lose you. Not when I’ve just found you. We’ll take this a day at a time. I’m the only one who suspects anything, and that’s because my dick gets hard every time I’m around you.”
I try to suppress a laugh.
“I’m sorry. You really must have been feeling confused.”
“I think it must have recognized the woman beneath the disguise.”
“It must.” I pull my head back, and Jaxon strokes down my cheek.
“Is it hard now?”
“What do you think?” Jaxon winks at me.
I pull away and offer my hand for him to take. He does and follows me as I lead him through Chinatown and out into a garden my family created. Small streams run through it. Flowers from our native country grow there. It’s our place of ancestry even when we are far away.
“This is beautiful.” Jaxon looks around. I lead him to the small, oriental style house nestled within the garden—inside there are beds for relaxing. We enter using the key I always carry, Jaxon having to duck through the doorway due to his tall height.
“Today, I’ve experienced hatred and the horror it brings. I need to counteract the darkness. Balance it with experiences of love and passion. Please, Jaxon.”
Jaxon smiles. “I can’t think of a better thing to do.” He scoops me up into his arms and places me on the bed. My sword still sits in its scabbard at my waist, and Jaxon removes it before discarding his weapons and taking off his t-shirt.
I bite my lip and finally take a good look at his tattooed chest—something I’ve wanted to do since I got the first glimpse of it, the day I joined the Yi Shu. Jaxon steps forward and pulls off my t-shirt over my head. He stares down at the bandage wrapped around my breasts to flatten them to my chest. He undoes the pin holding the bandage in place, and grasping the end, he starts to unravel it, swallowing hard as he unwraps me like a Christmas present. When the bandage is removed, he looks down at my breasts. They’re small, making them easier to hide.
He reaches out and touches one, I relax back onto the bed and allow him to explore my body, first with his hand and then his mouth. I’ve never been worshiped in this way, and I feel the fires igniting in me. My pants and underwear are removed next, and I hear Jaxon curse in delight when he sees me naked for the first time.
“Definitely a woman.”
“Told you.” I chuckle, and he gives me a little slap to my backside. It sends a jolt of pleasure through me, and I groan.
“Well, it seems the darkness within you spreads over to the bedroom. I’m going to enjoy exploring that later. But for now, I assume you’re a virgin?” Jaxon steps back and removes his pants as he speaks to me.
“Yes, I’ve always behaved in the manner expected of a dutiful daughter. I wanted to bring honor to my family. The day of the draft, I was due to be presented to society with the intention of finding a Yi Shu man to marry.”
Jaxon removes his underwear, and I stare at his dick. I’ve seen a few of them during my time at the training compound. It’s impossible not to with so many men around, but Jaxon’s is magnificent, surrounded by a tuft of blond hair. Plus, it’s big. Maybe I should go back to honoring my family and remain a virgin for a bit longer. I bring my legs together.
Jaxon shakes his head and laughs at me. “I have to admit taking your virginity out of wedlock is scary for me, it goes against our traditions. I’ll be ruining you in the eyes of so many, but we’ve thrown the rule book away, Lia. We might as well continue. You and I aren’t normal people. I believe we’re destined for exceptional things, and I won’t allow anyone to hurt you. This is my promise, here and now.”
I lean forward and place my hand on Jaxon’s heart. I can feel it beating fast underneath my palm. “I know. Since the moment I first saw you, I’ve known.”
Jaxon pushes himself up my body, parting my legs as he goes. I welcome him, all fear gone as he resumes his exploration—kisses, licks and nibbles, tasting every inch of my body while my hands begin to investigate his sensitive flesh. I kiss where I can reach, devouring his salty but musky taste. It’s pure man. When Jaxon dips his head between my legs and runs the length of my slit with his tongue, I arch off the bed, my body needing more from him, needing his touch everywhere.