“All I need to do is pack up all my stuff and I’ll be coming back to London.”
“When?” I try to temper down my excitement a little bit, but her giggle tells me she knows I’m practically climbing the walls without her here.
“I’ve got a few end-of-term parties first, so a couple of weeks.”
“A couple of weeks,” I say sadly.
“I know. It’ll go quickly. You’ll see.”
“I wonder if Daddy would let me come up to see you at the parties? Theo could accompany me. That way, I wouldn’t get into any of the trouble he thinks would befall me if I happened to leave the house.”
“Victoria.” Her answer is ominous. Not because she doesn’t want me to come, but she knows my father would say ‘no’ immediately.
“I just wish for once he would trust me.”
“He does trust you.”
“He doesn’t,” I interrupt. “He thinks that if I see a man, who isn’t a relative, all my morals will go down the drain, and I’ll hump him like a wild dog.”
“He’s doesn’t think that!”
“Then, why didn’t he allow me to go to University to study the History of Art? I obtained a place at Oxford. You don’t get higher than that. I also had a place at Goldsmiths, which is just down the road, so I’d still be able to live at home. Every time I asked, the answer was ‘no’. If he’d trusted me, he’d have let me go.”
“He just doesn’t want to see any harm come to you. Some parties can get a little bit rowdy.” Tammy’s voice went quiet on the other end of the phone.
“You’ve been to them?” I ask.
“A few times.”
“What happens, tell me?” My living by proxy is all done through my friend, and I’m not going to let her keep details from me.
“Ria.” My nickname since we were toddlers. She struggled to say Victoria when she was younger, so it was just shortened to Ria, and it stuck.
“Please,” I beg.
“Ok, there was this one party when I was in my second year. It was after the end of the final year exams. Some of my mates brought in some kegs of beer. They were paid for by one of the final years, he was a billionaire’s son. He had more money than sense. We spent most of the day drinking and ordering in pizza when we got hungry. By the evening, we were all pretty merry.”
“Drunk?” I interrupt, not knowing what that feels like. I’m allowed a glass of wine with my dinner and champagne at the functions Daddy throws. I’ve never been drunk.
“I was on my way to drunk. I wasn’t drunk. My inhibitions were lowered. There was this guy. We’d been working together on our final project for the term.”
“Did you have sex with him?” I know Tammy isn’t a virgin. She lost her cherry, when she was at school, to a guy she’d been dating for a year. She came home and told me all the details.
“Eventually. But first, we played Twister with another couple. Every time someone fell over, they had to remove an item of clothing. You know how clumsy I am. I was naked with my backside in the air in no time. One of the moves put him behind me. He got hard, so we stopped playing and fucked right there on the lounge floor. Most of the party were watching us, but we weren’t the only ones naked. Lots of couples were having sex around us.”
“Wow.” It’s all I can say. I mean I’ve read books about sex and looked at videos on the internet, when I’ve wanted to get myself off, but to be involved in a real-life orgy sounds amazing. Jesus, Tammy had such a good life. “What happened next?”
“Yeah. Next wasn’t good.” She goes quiet. “I found him having sex with some other girl later that evening.”
“The bastard.”
“It was an evening of free love. I went and found another partner.”
“I wish I could do it for once.”
“No, you don’t. Your saving yourself for your husband.”
“What husband!” I exclaim indignantly. “Don’t I actually have to be allowed to leave the house to find one?”
“Have you spoken to your father again about getting a job?”
“What’s the point?”
“You told me about the volunteering position at the art gallery. Maybe since you won’t be getting paid, he’ll let you?” she asks, hopefully.
“Oh that, I left the information on his desk. I went in the next day and found it in the bin. He wouldn’t even entertain it, money or not.” I stand up and walk around the pool to the French doors that open over our manicured gardens. We’re on the outskirts of London so have a large plot compared to some, and I welcome it because it means I can escape and walk. I open them and take a breath of air.
“I’m sure he’ll allow something soon. Maybe when I move back, we can persuade him to allow you to come out with me more.”
“It won’t happen, there’s no point in asking. I’m stuck in this place. Probably until he chooses a husband for me, and then, I’ll be stuck doing what another man wants me to do.” I’m so down with my life at the moment, I just want to have a purpose.
“We'll think of something,” Tammy offers. She knows how sad I get. “What about asking him if you can help him with his business affairs again? He was more than happy for you to help him arrange the functions when your mother was ill. Maybe you could take some of the running of the estates away from her. Talk to her.”
“That’s a good idea. She’s been busy with Theodore and his new business venture recently, and she still looks weak after the flu.” Her mother had caught flu the previous winter and had been bedridden for weeks. She had problems with her lungs anyway, from an iron deficiency at birth. It really hit her hard. She spent time in the hospital and took months to recover. “I’ll ask him when I next see him. Mother can concentrate on Theo, and I’ll run the estates. At least I’ll get to talk to people. “
“Great idea.” I can hear voices, in the background, on the other end of the phone. They’re calling my friend. “I’m going to have to go, Ria.”
“Going on another drinking fest?” I laugh, but she goes silent. “Have fun and be careful.”
“I’ll be home soon, and we’ll work on you being allowed out more. I promise. Go talk to your father about the estate.”
She hangs up, and I go back to staring out of the window. Our gardens are formal in style. A rose border dominates the vista from the pool. It's June, and the beautiful pink and red petals of the climber’s contrast stunningly with the crisp white of the fragrant tea roses. The gardener appears from behind a hedge, and he sees me standing there. I go to ask him to cut a rose for me, but he puts his head down and hurries away back into the depths of the woodland area. Oops, I remember that I’m in a bikini. Awkward.
“Victoria,” my father calls me. I stroll back to the lounger and pick up my dressing gown. I've just finished wrapping it around me and tying the cord when he enters the room.
“Father.” I smile.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“You know I always swim at this time,” I offer with a hint of sarcasm, alluding to the fact that I don’t have anything else to do.